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I Thought I Married the Wrong Person

My husband and I couldn’t stand one another.


Editor’s note: This article was adapted from the story of a woman who attended one of FamilyLife’s I Still Do events between 1999-2002.  As we prepare to hold three new I Still Do events this summer and fall, we thought you’d be encouraged by this testimony about the importance of the marriage covenant.

Soon after my wedding day, I began to wonder if my husband and I should be married. Our relationship just didn’t seem right. We were always arguing over something, and I thought that we weren't meant for each other.

We had both come from families who are committed to marriage. Our parents had never divorced.  But it didn’t take long before I started to wonder if we had both made a terrible mistake. Then I began to tell myself over and over, We will probably get a divorce some day.

The first months of our marriage we just hung on by a thread. Then things got worse when my mother was diagnosed with cancer. When she died before our second anniversary, I became very depressed. It was a dark time. My husband and I couldn’t stand one another.

By God’s grace and mercy, we somehow got through the first years of marriage, and our relationship even got to be harmonious and respectful. As time went on, we talked about the beginning of our marriage, and we healed past wounds.

But when we had disagreements, I was still taunted with the thought, We will probably get divorced some day. This just isn't right.

Then one day I actually brought up the “D-word": divorce.  As soon as I said it, I realized that the old thoughts still had a foothold on me.

A change in attitude

About the same time God began to teach me that I hadn’t married the wrong person. I realized that I needed to become the wife God wanted me to be. For as long as I believed I was married to the wrong person, things just weren’t quite right with me.

By the time we went to I Still Do, a one-day marriage event sponsored by FamilyLife, our relationship was better than ever. We didn’t attend the event because we had problems; we went because we wanted to do something meaningful together.  

But what I Still Do did for me was bring home the idea of covenant … that my marriage is for life. During the event God pointed out to me that I had never repented of the thought in my head that we might get divorced some day. I confessed my sin and made a conscious choice: My husband is my husband for life. I am committed to him as long as I live.

I now realize that God has a special purpose for our marriage that is in His design and not just second-best, regardless of how it may seem. My husband is God's perfect gift for me. What a release into freedom!

 

Copyright © 2014 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.

FamilyLife is a donor-supported ministry offering practical and biblical resources and events to help you build a godly marriage and family.

Next Steps

1. Check out some additional stories about how God changes lives and families.

2. When Scott and Sherry Jennings married in college, all they needed was love. Fourteen years later, their feelings had morphed into anger, deceit, and adultery. Listen to a FamilyLife Today series on how a couple moves from love to hate … and back to love.

 



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