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7 Things I Wish I’d Known About Men Before I Married

Knowing these truths would have helped me prepare for marriage and be a better wife.
By Tricia Goyer


Growing up with my stepdad and younger brother I thought I knew a thing or two about men. While I knew not to change the channel during a football game, not to serve quiche for dinner, and not to attempt to fix a broken doorknob with a rubber band, there were a few important things I missed—things that would have helped me prepare for marriage and be a better wife.

Here is my list:

1. Men can't read your mind. If you “hint” at wanting help, men will not get it. “I wish I was taller so I could reach that canister” sounds like a simple statement. Asking sweetly works much better. Say something like, “Honey, when you have a minute can you reach that canister for me?”

2. Men don't like to be rushed with new problems as soon as they walk in the front door. Providing time to unwind works much better. Let the worries of your husband’s workday dissipate before you tell him about new ones.

3. Men often feel like they're failing as a spiritual leader. Ever wonder why your spouse doesn't take the initiative on spiritual ventures more often? Sometimes it's easier for him not to try than to see disappointment in your gaze. Instead of “hinting” at ways he can lead or nagging when another day goes by without quiet time, pray for your husband to step up, and support any effort he makes.

4. Men are visual. Very visual. Even when we women feel unattractive or overweight, our husbands do like to look at us minus the clothing. They don't mind nearly as much as we do about the extra rolls around the middle, I promise. Remember this: You are the only naked woman your husband is allowed to look at!

5. Men like someone to listen to their dreams. It doesn't mean they're going to go out and quit their jobs tomorrow and set off on a sailboat around the world, but a listening ear matters. Take time to ask, “If you could do anything, what would you do?” Give him space to dream.

6. Men are born with a desire to protect the weak and fight for honor, but those instincts rarely have a chance to exhibit themselves in the real world. We don't have to hide our faults or be perfect wives. Instead we can turn to our men for help and advice. We can give our husbands a chance to save the day.

7. A good meal and a warm wife can wash away every other care in the world. I don't think there's much more I need to say about that. Try it, I bet your husband will agree!

© 2012 by Tricia Goyer.  All rights reserved.

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