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What if My Spouse Refuses to Go?

Don’t give up on your spouse, but don’t let your spouse’s resistance control you.


If your spouse won’t go to counseling, see a pastor, or seriously consider conflict coaching. Then, you must focus on God and what He wants to do in your heart and life. Don’t give up on your spouse, but don’t let your spouse’s resistance control you.

Begin a study on prayer to help you gain a focus on the Lord. Ask your pastor to pray for and with you. Seek three or four friends to meet with you to pray once a week. Use the time wisely; do not spend most of the time talking about the problem and use only a few minutes for prayer. Spend a few minutes sharing some specific prayer needs and then use the majority of the time for prayer. 

As this group comes together, ask the Lord to direct you to one person that would be your prayer partner. The goal for this person and you is accessibility. If you need to talk to someone or hear someone pray with and for you, you can call this partner. This focus on God and prayer will encourage you and bring hope and peace in your life. You might want to pray specifically that God will bring someone into your spouse’s life that he or she will hear. Also, ask God to open their heart to attend a Weekend to Remember® marriage conference, visit with the pastor, or meet with a counselor.

Another thing that is important right now is Bible study. Look for and get involved in a men’s or women’s Bible study. While you are trusting God to change your spouses heart, you need to focus on your relationship with the Lord. He is your ultimate supply for all your needs. Your spouse can never meet all your deep needs, but God through Christ Jesus can. Learn to share your heart with your Lord. Give Him all your hurts, confusion, and trust.

© 2008 by FamilyLife.  All rights reserved.


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