We can all remember occasions when we had our heart set on receiving a particular gift, only to be disappointed by the giver's selection. Perhaps he didn't know us well enough to choose something appropriate. Or maybe she just didn't have time to select a more meaningful gift.

Thankfully, however, most gifts are not disappointing. Generally, we think of a "gift" as something desirable. We like to know that someone has been thinking about us, and we look forward to receiving gifts that friends have picked out for us.

What is the appropriate response when someone gives us a gift? First, we receive the gift; then we thank the giver and proceed to use the gift for its intended purpose.

In all the universe, there is no greater Giver than God Himself. He loves to give good gifts to His children! As with human givers, when God gives us a gift, He is pleased when we receive it, thank Him for it, and use it for its intended purpose.

According to the Scriptures, there are some gifts that God gives to all believers. For example, all those who have placed their faith in Christ as recipients of His grace, His forgiveness, the Holy Spirit, and eternal life.

However, not all of God's gifts are given to every believer. The New Testament teaches, for example, that God does not give the same spiritual gift(s) to every believer. He determines which gift(s) He wishes to give to each believer, and in what measure.

Children are another example. Children are a gift from the Lord (Ps. 127:3). However, God does not give this particular gift to every believer. To some, He gives many children; to others, He gives a few or only one; to others, He gives none. God has the right to determine to whom He will give the gift of children. When He grants this wonderful gift, it is to be received with gratitude. When He does not, we must learn to respond to His sovereign choice with surrendered, grateful hearts.

The Scripture teaches that both marriage and singleness, like children, are gifts from God. To some, He gives the gift of marriage; to others, He gives the gift of singleness. Either way, we are to receive our marital status as a gift. This gift does not come from some distant relative who has no idea what we really need; it comes from a gracious God who loves us and gives the very best gifts to any of His children who leave the choice with Him.

In the will of God, marriage is an incredible gift, to be received with joy and thanksgiving, and to be used for the glory of God. Likewise, in the will of God, singleness is an incredible gift, to be received with gratitude, and to be used equally for the glory of God.

In his classic chapter on marriage, the Apostle Paul cautions against striving for a gift or a calling other than that which God has entrusted to us. He exhorts us not to seek to escape from binding circumstances or to insist on having a gift God has not chosen for us. "Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called" (1 Corinthians 7:20). The issue is not our martial status or station in life but rather choosing to live in that state in union with God: "Let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God" (1 Corinthians 7:24, emphasis mine).

Throughout this chapter, Paul sets forth the principle that what matters most is not whether or not we are married but rather the will of God. What state has He called us to? What gift has He given us? "Each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that" (1 Corinthians 7:7 New International Version). Jesus Himself referred to singleness as a special gift from God (Matthew 19:11, 12).

I am not single by accident. I am not single because the "right man" has never asked me to marry him. I am not single because I have made up my mind not to marry. Rather, I am single because God has chosen for me the gift of singleness. I believe that I am single according to the perfect will and purpose of God. I have no way of knowing how long He will give me this gift or whether He will ever choose to give me the gift of marriage. I do not know whether it will be His will for me to be single in five years. But I do know that it has been His will to this point in my life.

I must set my heart to respond to this and every area of my life with the words of the virgin Mary when her world was turned upside down by an angelic messenger: "I am the Lord's servant…. May it be to me as You have said" (Luke 1:38 NIV).

Certainly there are times when I whimper and long for something God has not provided. But over and over again, He brings me back to that wonderful place of trust and surrender that says, "Oh, Lord, if it pleases You, it pleases me." We tend to think that what is really good is the fulfillment of our desires. But, in reality, the highest good in the universe is whatever God chooses for our lives.

The question is not "What do I want for myself?" but "What does God want for me?" What will please Him and bring Him the greatest glory? What will best fulfill His purpose here on this earth?

For many singles, this will mean a willingness to remain single for a period of time. For some, it will mean a willingness to embrace long-term or life-long singleness. For most, it will mean, in God's time, the willingness to accept the commitment and obligations of marriage.

While many single men and women long to be married, this is not universally true. With the increase in divorce and widespread dissatisfaction with family life, some adults are choosing to remain single to avoid the pressures, responsibilities, and restraints of having a family.

Of course, marriage does involve tremendous responsibility and restraint. But in denying ourselves and embracing God-given responsibilities, we become all that He created us to be. It all comes back to that basic issue: What is the will of God for my life?

Taken from Singled Out for Him by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, ©1998 Life Action Ministries, P.O. Box 31, Buchanan, MI 49107-0031, 269-684-5905, Used by Permission of Life Action Ministries.