Manner Tips

Rule:Never write messages with all letters capitalized when writing E-mail.

Reason:The reader will feel you are shouting at him or her.

Application:To emphasize a word enclose it in stars - *…*.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:Use emoticons to communicate feelings over the Internet.

Reason:Emoticons are combinations of symbols expressed by a few key strokes.

Application:To show a smile in your E-mail message, use a colon, a minus sign, and an end parenthesis. :-) . (For more, see The Etiquette Advantage by June Hines Moore.)

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:Do not send rude or subtle innuendoes about defenseless victims in an E-mail.

Reason:Privacy for an E-mail message is extremely doubtful.

Application:Before sending an E-mail message ask these questions: Is the message clear? Is the wording tasteful? Is correct grammar and spelling used? Have I written a positive, informative piece of Internet correspondence?

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:Include contact information at the end of your E-mail message if you want a response.

Reason:Sometimes the header information is lost.

Application:Use the signature line at the bottom to make sure the recipient knows who you are. The signature block should not exceed four lines.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:Never send chain letters on the Internet.

Reason:They are legally forbidden. A violation can get network privileges revoked.

Application:Notify your local system administrator if you receive one.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:Send only E-mail messages that you would put on a postcard for anyone to see.

Reason:Cyberspace is very public.

Application:When using E-mail, remember you do not know for sure who will read it, and even if your message is ultimately deleted, the server may be able to retrieve it.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:New technology such as the Internet has demanded new etiquette rules to learn and observe.

Reason:In 1922 when Emily Post wrote her first etiquette book, she never imagined computers and the Internet.

Application:Use the same rules of courtesy, the Golden Rule, and the proper netiquette when going on the Internet. Although your contact is not face to face or voice to voice, as an online user you have a responsibility to respect others’ time, space, and sensibilities. Consider the impact of your message before you hit the “send” button.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:The word netiquette is a combination of the words net and etiquette that describe the rules for using the Internet.

Reason:The word net comes from the word Internet. Rules of etiquette are required to make things run smoothly in cyberspace.

Application:Observe good netiquette because it keeps our Internet activity in cyberspace organized, civilized, and efficient.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:Church teachers and workers are worthy of respect and appreciation.

Reason:They work with and teach our children.

Application:As a parent, show your gratitude for the time and efforts of all the teachers. Offer to help the teacher any way you can, just as you would do in school. Write them a note during the year or at the end of the church year.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:Church attendance should be a pleasant and memorable experience for everyone, even children.

Reason:When true worship takes place, a church will offer such experiences.

Application:When a church service, wedding, funeral is over, commend your child with as many positive remarks as you can. You do not want him or her to dread going to church.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:All church goers should face the front at all times unless told to look behind them.

Reason:It is uncomfortable to have someone turn around and stare at you.

Application:Never allow your children to turn around in the pew. Make sure he or she faces forward at all times.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:A Jewish funeral takes place within the shortest time possible after a death.

Reason:The Jews believe that the soul has returned to God and that it is shameful to have the person’s body remain with the living.

Application:Using this reason, explain to your children that there will be no embalming and no open casket where you can “view the body.”

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:It is no longer mandated that everyone wear black to funerals.

Reason:Some families choose to have a celebration of the life of the individual.

Application:If you are to be seated with the family, or you are a pallbearer or usher, you should wear black or a subdued color. You should ask someone in charge if you are in doubt. You should not want to call attention to yourself.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:When attending the “family visitation” time before a funeral, friends should be quiet, dignified, and attentive to the family. Visitors should not have private conversations on topics unrelated to the deceased and the family.

Reason:We like to be treated that way when we have a death in the family.

Application:Teach your children to never run, talk loudly, or mettle while you are visiting the family of the bereaved. Explain how your family would feel if you lost a loved one.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:Parents decide when it is appropriate to take their child to a funeral.

Reason:Some children are more impressionable and vulnerable than other children.

Application:If you decide to take your children to a funeral, explain to them what to expect. The service may be a memorial with no casket, or the funeral may be in a funeral home, or the service may simply be a graveside service.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:To be well-mannered we must respect the beliefs and religion of others without subscribing to them.

Reason:Each one of us wants others to respect our system of belief and practices.

Application:As a parent, teach your child to respect other religions by not criticizing (making fun of) them and their followers. At the same time, make sure your children know what you believe and hold dear.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:Members of almost any religious congregation should greet guests and visitors.

Reason:Guests and prospective members feel more welcome when church members introduce themselves.

Application:Many services have a welcoming time when members stand and greet the people they do not know.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:Children are expected to be reasonably quiet in any church service.

Reason:Church services are usually meant to be worshipful.

Application:If your child cries loudly and uncontrollably, you should remove the child from the service. You may want to sit near an exit if you suspect he or she might need to leave. Some churches have a “crying” room.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:Children should be encouraged to take part in the church service as much as they can, according to their age and maturity.

Reason:Worship is intended to be for anyone who wants to participate.

Application:When your child is about eight years old, he or she will probably be able to understand the parts of a service. Hold the hymnal so that your child can see the words. You can follow the words and the music with your finger for a young child to watch. Ask your children to stand when others do and to sit when others do.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:If you arrive late to church and the service has begun, do not enter during a prayer or a musical presentation.

Reason:It is rude and disrespectful to enter during a prayer or when someone is singing.

Application:Wait at the back of the church until there is a break in the service, perhaps as people are being reseated.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:Participants in a church service should not go in and out, but remain in their place throughout the service, unless they go to the altar (or take out an unruly child).

Reason:It is out of respect for other worshipers.

Application:Make sure you take your children to the bathroom and the water cooler before going into the sanctuary for worship.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:If ushers are not in sight when you reach the entry to the sanctuary of a church, it is proper for the gentleman to lead the way. If there is an usher, the lady follows the usher as her family follows with Dad in the rear.

Reason:It is a general rule of etiquette that a man leads the way any time there is no one else to lead the way in public.

Application:The gentleman leads the way down the aisle and stands aside for his wife and children to enter the pew first.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:Children should not run or push in a church building.

Reason:For safety and respect.

Application:Talk to your children before you reach the church. Without scolding, be positive and say, “I know you will remember your church manners when we get there and not run or push. We will all need to be reverent.”

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:Holy Communion is observed in most churches and practiced in a variety of ways.

Reason:Each religious organization has its own rituals, sacraments, observances, and customs.

Application:If you and your children are new to a congregation, you might want to ask what is expected of a visitor during communion. In some churches, only parishioners partake. In some congregations, those who take communion go to the altar at the front of the church. If that is the case, you may remain quietly and reverently at your seat unless the minister invites everyone to the altar.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore

Rule:Young children may write or draw in church, but not on the visitor cards or flyers provided for guests.

Reason:It is wasteful and disrespectful.

Application:Take pencil and paper or markers for your young children to use.

Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore