Parenting Tip # 167
Stay involved in the selection process of the computer and video games your child borrows or buys. Reviews of games are available in computer magazines (check the library or the Internet), and demo disks often can be obtained that show a game’s features. Also, check out the rating system for video and computer games.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 168
Did you know that music can affect and influence your child’s emotions and moods, and can play a significant role in romantic relationships with the opposite sex? Help your child choose his CDs, music videos, and radio stations wisely. Evaluate together the lyrics of his favorite songs, and songs played on secular radio. Ask him what the lyrics are teaching him. Discourage him from listening to any radio stations or CDs that do not measure up to Philippians 4:8.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 169
Be on your guard about what books and magazines you allow your child to read. Many books (even those schools include as curriculum) may contain questionable content. Children need to be steered away from those books and publications that can stir up romantic or sexual emotions, pornography, books that are overly violent, or that promote drinking, drugs, cheating, bad attitudes, stealing, witchcraft, and so on.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 17
Tell your children about the mightiness of God. It is important for children to remember when they feel helpless and fearful. Share some examples with your children about how God protected you or helped you in a tough situation.Raising Children Of Faith: Study Guide
Copyright 2002 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Group Publishing, Inc.
Parenting Tip # 170
Get on the Internet with your child and do some surfing (exploring). Show your child how to navigate toward acceptable materials and away from questionable Web sites. Play your child’s computer or video games with him. Discuss any messages or themes that are portrayed as you play the game.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 171
You can play some great Decide in Advance games related to media to test your child’s convictions. Try asking your child some of these questions:
1. You are watching television at a neighbor’s house when a bad video or cable show comes on. Your friend says his parents don’t mind. What would you do?
2. You are watching one of your favorite TV shows at home when the story becomes dirty. What would you do?
3. You are at a friend’s room listening to music. The radio is tuned to a popular music station and a song about sex comes on. What would you do?Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 172
One of the most important areas in which a teenager needs training is in how to handle anger. Anger is normal and occurs in every human being. The problem is not the anger itself, but managing it. Teach your child to recognize anger when it comes, understand the cause, express it appropriately, and resolve it properly. Inappropriate expressions of anger include physically harming another, using words that threaten to bring emotional damage to another, or showing disrespect to a parent or other elder.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 173
Parents need to work at modeling appropriate expressions of anger for their children:
*Don’t act or speak unless your emotions are under control (being “quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger,” as James 1:19 directs us).
*Direct anger at the specific cause rather than spraying anger at your spouse or other people.
*Seek resolution and reconciliation, not payback.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 174
Anger is almost always a response. When your child is angry you can help him understand what hurt him and work through that issue together.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 175
Passive anger is deceptive, because it seems easier to tolerate than the behavior of a child who screams and throws a fit. But it’s a pay-now-or-pay-later proposition. Encourage your child to talk about his anger and to express it appropriately. Work together to resolve conflicts and to bring about reconciliation.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 176
The time to address anger in a child is not in the midst of an argument. You may need to give your teenager some time to cool off, and remind him to choose his words carefully. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 177
A child who is full of anger and expressing it wrongly is like a mud wrestler. A parent must stay outside the ring, remaining as objective and loving as possible.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 178
Anger should be treated like the red light in your car, telling you that something is wrong—a problem with the oil, brakes, transmission, or power steering. With anger, it could be unmet expectations, hurt, disappointment, and so on. And just as we would pull over to determine what is wrong with the car, we need to train our children to pull off to the side and clearly ascertain the problem and address the core issue, avoiding a possible disaster and further damage.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 179
As you teach your child how to properly handle anger, you must help them to embrace two critical principles:
*Every person is made in the image of God, and you must not tear at or rip away the image of God in another person—even if it’s just Mom, Dad, sister, or brother. Anger is to be taken care of quickly and efficiently before it deteriorates into bitterness, revenge, or even violence.
*A fruit of the Spirit is self-control. Since self-control acts like a 10-foot-high hedge to contain anger, we need to encourage the growth of this godly fruit in our children.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 18
Share with your child a way in which you have recently exercised faith and put your trust in God. This will help them to put their trust in God.Raising Children Of Faith: Study Guide
Copyright 2002 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Group Publishing, Inc.
Parenting Tip # 180
When a child experiences conflict in his relationships, look for opportunities to coach him to bring about resolution and reconciliation. Role-play how to handle anger and confess inappropriate anger.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 181
Parents’ outward appearances are a statement of their character and values as men or women. Parents, especially mothers, need to be careful. Children are watching what we wear, how we act, and how we present our body. Evaluate your outward appearance by asking yourself, “Does my clothing and outward appearance adequately reflect my relationship with Christ? Am I setting a good example of Christian character for my children? Am I cultivating my inner person so that my children will see what’s really important in my life?”Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 182
Verbally affirm masculine dress and appearance in your sons and feminine dress and appearance in your daughters. Compliment your sons when they dress up and wear a tie. Rave about your daughters when they wear a dress, or dress modestly. Young men and young women are hungry for affirming words as their sexual identities emerge.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 183
Mothers need to help their daughters appreciate their blossoming femininity. Seek a modest, balanced approach by not allowing your daughter to flaunt her body with skimpy, skin-tight outfits or bury her body in layers of big, baggy, shapeless items.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 184
As a parent you must prayerfully decide which fads (ear piercing, body piercing, makeup, clothing styles, hair styles) are truly sinful, and which are just choices your child can make on his own. If you disagree with your child about a particular fad, listen carefully to him. Love him enough to say no. Hold your ground, because most teens don’t really know what’s best for themselves. It’s good to remember that these turbulent disagreements will pass and that your child most likely won’t remember that they even occurred.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 185
When you are in a standoff with your child about a particular issue, consider asking yourself the following four questions:
1. Have I prayed about this issue and asked God for wisdom in how to handle it?
2. Are we in agreement as a couple? God will often use your spouse to balance you in an area where you might be extreme.
3. Is the issue a clear matter of right and wrong, or is it a preference? If the issue is something in which your child is clearly wrong, then you know what you need to do. But if it’s in the gray area, go slow before drawing your sword.
4. Is the issue really worth its cost? Try not to make marginal issues too large.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 186
Two of the more disturbing and potentially dangerous behaviors found among teenagers are the binging-purging pattern of bulimia or the starvation pattern of anorexia nervosa. If you feel your child is obsessed with dieting and is looking overly thin, talk to your pediatrician immediately. A team approach that includes a nutritionist, a pediatrician, and a psychologist is particularly beneficial in helping teens to overcome these serious diseases.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 187
To keep children from building a pattern of deceit in their lives, parents need to model a life of integrity. Watch for the subtle deceptions we adults are so prone to—giving phony reasons for not taking phone calls, failing to keep promises to our children, offering excuses to get out of commitments, and so on. Instead, show your children by your own example how important it is to walk in truth.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 188
Remember, your life is like a door. You can open it to deceit, lies, and misrepresentations of the truth. Or you can open it to truth, the pathway through which integrity gains entrance into your family and your child’s life.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 189
Shaping your child’s convictions about deceit begins as you teach him to fear God (Proverbs 14:27). Teach your child to fear God by teaching him who He really is. He is truth. Love. Holy. Sovereign. Omnipotent. Omnipresent. And more. As our children see us practicing the presence of God in our lives, they too will grow in the understanding that God sees all and that He is to be feared.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
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