Parenting Tip # 211
When dealing with sibling rivalry try to let your kids work it out on their own. Get involved only when necessary for the purpose of training and character development. If their differences are not resolved positively, then discipline both children. Inflict pain on both warring parties, perhaps with an extra chore, such as washing the same window from opposite sides—this one is guaranteed to bring a smile!Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 212
Tips on dealing with sibling rivalry:
*Clearly spell out the boundaries and limits. No hitting. No saying “I hate you.” No bossing each other around. And no cut-downs. Establish non-negotiable penalties for stepping over the limit.
*Have your children memorize Romans 12:10, 17.
*Don’t fuel your kids’ competitive spirit by comparing them with each other, by playing favorites, or by constantly putting them in situations where they have to compete against each other.
*Pray for your children. Ask God to make them best friends. *Pray that He will divinely engineer situations where they have to look out for each other, and applaud them when they do.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 213
For rewarding good behavior/penalizing bad behavior as it relates to sibling rivalry, try this: Put a designated number of dollar bills in a jar. Every time your children go to war and can’t work it out by themselves, take a dollar out of the jar. Put a dollar into the jar when they go out of their way to be kind to one another or are able to work out a conflict. At the end of a designated time period, the children get to split what is left in the jar. If their behavior is so bad that the money runs out, then dip into their allowances.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 214
Use special occasions to train children how to use the tongue positively. Thanksgiving is a great opportunity for this. Ask each family member to write down five things he is thankful for, and encourage him to think about the others as he writes. Ask each person to share these aloud, then save the lists in a notebook for review the next Thanksgiving.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 215
On a family member’s birthday, have each of the other family members share five things he appreciates about the person having the birthday. This helps children practice speaking positively to others.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 216
Challenge your children to reject mediocrity. Teach them the importance of striving for excellence in everything you do. Within his God-given capabilities, challenge him to rise above the crowd, to seek higher standards of achievements, and to be all that God has gifted him to be. This involves training him to be trustworthy, to fulfill his commitments, and to do a good job even when nobody is looking.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 217
Children can develop a great work ethic through simple household chores. Make sure your child knows how to do his chores properly. Show him step-by-step what to do and what standards he should meet. Be sure to inspect what he has done, and develop a reward/penalty system for chores that are done on time with excellence.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 218
Help your children to use their allowances wisely. Teach them to divide the money for giving, saving, and spending. Along the way, teach them how to do a general budget to help cover their needs (such as toiletries) and wants (such as a game or an expensive item of clothing).Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 219
Doing an excellent job at school does not mean receiving all A’s. It does mean maintaining an excellent attitude and making a good effort. Know your child’s abilities and challenges; find out how your child learns and studies best, and encourage and motivate him to excel, with incentives for grades.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 22
Children will behave like children—you can count on it. You will need to train your child in some areas over and over again. Above all, don’t give up!Raising Children Of Faith: Study Guide
Copyright 2002 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Group Publishing, Inc.
Parenting Tip # 220
Much of the on-the-job training for the workplace needs to take place at home as children participate in simple chores and tasks. Try starting your children off with small tasks, like putting the silverware in its proper place after being washed, or dusting. As they grow older they can learn to do larger tasks, such as cleaning the kitchen, taking out the trash, and washing the family car.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 221
Before your teen enters the working world, establish some boundaries on the number of hours he may work and what he may do with his money. Help him understand the need for balance in his life, and have him plan a budget, with some set aside for savings, giving, and regular needs.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 222
When your teen takes on a part-time job, help him to understand that he isn’t just working for a boss who is selling pizza or shoes or chicken sandwiches; he is representing Jesus Christ and his family. Encourage him to be the best worker he can be by teaching him to dress appropriately for the job, arrive at work ahead of time, find out what’s expected, work hard, be honest, and to resist pressure from coworkers or a boss to act against his beliefs.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 223
Talk to your child about the importance of keeping his life pure by guarding what enters through the eyes. Point out to him the dangers of pornography. Aggressively monitor his entertainment habits by asking hard questions: “Have you been looking at or reading anything at school that you ought not be looking at? When you’re on the computer, are you surfing where you ought not be surfing?”Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 224
Helping your child to avoid the pornography trap is crucial in a world where the media inundates us with sex and sexual images. Some people are as prone to a compulsive need for pornography as others are to alcohol and drugs. Talk with your child about the dangers of pornography. Help him to make wise entertainment choices, and help him decide in advance how he will handle being confronted with pornography. You can role play various types of situations and discuss how he can respond. For instance, you might discuss what he can do if he finds a pornographic magazine in the trash at a neighbor’s house.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 225
One of the best ways to instill a missions mind-set in your child is to go together on a short-term mission, here in the United States or overseas. In addition to the impact you will have for Christ, you will find that your child will change in significant ways as he moves out of his normal comfort zone and sees the need that others have for Christ.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 226
Let your children know that God has a special mission for their lives. He has gifted them with abilities, personality, and certain qualities that will help accomplish His plan. You can help them discover their unique gifts by encouraging them in the things that they seem to do well and feel passionate about. As they grow and mature, find creative ways to guide them in using those gifts for God’s glory.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 227
When your child enters high school, take him on a spiritual journey through the book of Proverbs. This book of the Bible has some of the best wisdom for life issues, such as how to make good decisions concerning the opposite sex, how to make right choices, how to work, and how to be a faithful and responsible steward of what God has given you.Parenting Today's Adolescent: Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years
Copyright 1998 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.
Parenting Tip # 23
Try to determine punishment ahead of offenses, and make an effort to make the punishment fit the crime. Be sure to evaluate what form of punishment is appropriate for the age of your child.Raising Children Of Faith: Study Guide
Copyright 2002 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Group Publishing, Inc.
Parenting Tip # 24
Your influence plays a large role in your children’s capacity to love others and to develop meaningful relationships. Strive to be a good example of God’s love as you relate to and interact with others.Raising Children Of Faith: Study Guide
Copyright 2002 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Group Publishing, Inc.
Parenting Tip # 25
Teaching your children to resolve conflict involves teaching them to:
Listen—truly hear what the other person is saying (James 1:19).
Speak the truth in love—share their huts in a way that does not threaten or accuse another person (Ephesians 4:15).
Forgive—understand that forgiving means giving up the right to punish those who hurt or offend them (Ephesians 4:32).Raising Children Of Faith: Study Guide
Copyright 2002 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Group Publishing, Inc.
Parenting Tip # 26
Raise your children with the awareness that they have a God-ordained mission in life. Help your child to determine his God-given gifts, talents, and abilities, and talk with him about his passions to help guide him toward discovering that mission.Raising Children Of Faith: Study Guide
Copyright 2002 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Group Publishing, Inc.
Parenting Tip # 27
Help your children discover that there is no greater good than serving God by reaching out to people with the love of Christ. Teach your child how to serve God by example. Serve in your local church, and volunteer when you can in the local soup kitchen or other areas in your community where you can help people in need. Involve your child when appropriate.Raising Children Of Faith: Study Guide
Copyright 2002 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Used by permission of Group Publishing, Inc.
Parenting Tip # 28
Write “I love you” or “Welcome Home” on a big sign on the door or on the front lawn to greet your child coming home from school.Copyright 1998 FamilyLife, a division of Campus Crusade for Christ.
Parenting Tip # 29
Leave a message on the answering machine for your child to let him know you’re thinking about him.Copyright 1998 FamilyLife, a division of Campus Crusade for Christ.
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