Bob: And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. Of course, Sunday is Mother's Day, and we're going to provide some help and encouragement for moms today, but before we do that, we need to let our listeners know about something that actually is – we're encouraged about here at FamilyLife, Dennis.
Dennis: We really are. You know, back in December we were facing some very stiff headwinds financially, and I came to our listeners and said, "I need your help," and a number of them stepped up and said, "Yes, we want to help you. We want to stand with you."
Well, here we are in May, and I want to report to you that the headwinds continue. That shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, but we're down about $1 million in donations from where we were this time last year, and I want you to know that we have done what families do when you can't make budget. You cut back.
Bob: You tighten up.
Dennis: You do. We've reduced our staff by 14 percent, we've instituted pay cuts between 5 to 10 percent. As a ministry, we have no debt. As many of you know, Barbara and I have donated 100 percent of our royalties from our books from the beginning here at FamilyLife.
Bob: In fact, you raise your own support to work here, right?
Dennis: I do, and when we ask you to give, I just want you to know we are asking you to do something that we're doing, and count it a privilege to do on an ongoing basis. And, Bob, we're just coming to our listeners right now and say, "You know what? We need you to help, we need you to step up and stand with us right now with a generous gift."
Bob: And I mentioned that there is something we are encouraged about, and that is some friends of the ministry who have stepped forward and said, "We want to help you during this time." So they are making available a matching gift during the month of May. Every donation we receive during this month, they're going to match it, dollar for dollar, up to a grand total of $356,000, which is astounding, and we are very grateful for their generosity, and we're coming to our listeners and saying can we ask you to be generous as well, when you make a $10 or a $20 or a $50 or $100 donation this month – $500 or $1,000 donation this month – that's going to be matched, dollar for dollar, thanks to the generosity of these friends.
So we're asking you to go to FamilyLifeToday.com or to call 1-800-FLTODAY and just do what you can do. In fact, that's what we're really hoping everyone will do is just whatever they can do, right?
Dennis: Exactly, and, you know, I really believe, Bob, this is a ministry for the day, right now. I mean, all roads lead back home, and I am more passionate than ever that these are days when we need to bring the Bible alive and in fresh and relevant ways to families helping them not merely survive this economic challenge that we are all facing, but helping them thrive and build into the next generation so they know how to handle fear, and they know how to handle worry, and they know how to handle money, okay?
But right now I'd like to ask you – would you stand with us? And, as Bob said, would you do what you can do? Very simple – just take out a check and say, "You know what, guys? I stand with you, here is my contribution, keep going."
Bob: People still write checks? I was going to tell them to go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and …
Dennis: I still write checks.
Bob: They can make a donation that way, or they can call 1-800-FLTODAY, make a donation over the phone, but we do hope to hear from as many listeners as possible this month again, online, FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FLTODAY, and if you do so, write a check. Just call us, and we'll give you the mailing address, all right?
Now, we want to talk about something that we're bullish on, and that's moms. If moms were a stock, we'd say "Buy" wouldn't we?
Dennis: We would.
Bob: We need moms, don't we?
Dennis: We do, and I was getting ready to ask you – what do you think your mom is worth? She's probably listening to this broadcast.
Bob: I have to be very careful.
Dennis: So you better butter her up.
Bob: She is worth …
Dennis: Immeasurable!
Bob: She is worth more than I've got, how's that, huh?
Dennis: Oh, there you go.
Bob: Yes, she's worth a lot more than I've got.
[laughter]
Dennis: Well, we're about to hear part 2 of a message by Mark Driscoll, who is a pastor at Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington, and earlier he shared with us how a mother is sanctified; how she is set apart; how she is made like Christ by her children.
And he has already talked to us this week about how our children's behavior mirrors our own, and that's a part of what sanctifies a mom. He has mentioned that to be a mother, it demands humility. That certainly sanctifies a mom. It demands endurance and patience and, boy, what mom doesn't need both of those in the process.
And today he is going to hit two more, and I'm going to give you two more bonus ways children sanctify us at the end of this broadcast.
Bob: And as we start part 2 of Mark's message, I think every mother in the audience will say, "Amen." Here is Pastor Mark Driscoll.
[from audiotape]
Mark: Fifthly, my wife said that truly in being saved through childbearing that a woman learns to work; that motherhood is work. How many of you would agree with that? It's work.
Why is it that some women say, "I just want to go get a job." It's because they're looking for an easier job than the one they've got.
Being a mother is a job. It's a job that is continual, it is a job that is unending. Salary.com recently did a survey, and they decided that a mother has multiple jobs. She's a driver, she's a cab driver, transportation expert; she's a short-order cook; she runs a small school whether or not she homeschools, she's still teaching; she's got daycare responsibilities overseeing the kids. Mom has all of these responsibilities, and if they were going to pay the average mother for the work that she does, what would her annual salary be? They said, $134,000.
Now, what that tells you that if that figure is at all accurate, that being a mother is real work, is real work. It says of the Proverbs 31 woman, that she rises early in the morning, and she works until late into the evening. The picture there is that she is working as a mother.
One of the horrible lies that's been told in our culture is that if you go outside of the home and get a job, then you're working, but if you're a mother, you're not working. That's why today only, roughly, 25 percent of families are a mom and a dad and a child. That's only 25 percent of American households. So many women feel this pressure to leave their children and go get a job. And the pressure is well, that will be financially beneficial for the family.
Let me blow out that myth for you. MSNBC.com, a few years ago, as well as a series that was done on "Dateline" some years ago, went through and did the actual hard research and said "If a woman has children and goes to work, is she really financially benefiting her family?" The answer was no.
One report I read said that unless a woman makes at least – and this was a few years ago – $50,000 a year, she is actually providing zero net income to her household. I want you mothers to understand that being a mother is work. It's honorable work, it's noble work, it's hard work. It's long hours, deep devotion and great sacrifice.
I'm not saying that all women working outside of the home are in sin. Single mothers have a very hard time. I'm not saying that if the kids go to school and Mom does something part time that there necessarily is sin.
But what I am saying is that there must be the acceptance that God is going to sanctify the woman through being a mother, and if what we do is hand off her motherly duties and send her off to do real work, then we're not honoring the work that God has called her to, and we are, thereby, short-circuiting those deep desires that God has placed within her to be saved through childbearing through the humble service, the patient instruction, and the ongoing care of the children. That is very hard, significant, important work.
I'll leave my little lecture on that point. Lastly, my wife said this – she said that God sanctifies the mother, saves them through childbearing, because the children force and teach her to have some fun. That sometimes, as adults, we can become way too serious, way too stressed out, way too concerned, anxious. How many of you mothers, in the middle of your anxiety, in the middle of your depression, in the middle of your despair, in the middle of your seriousness, your kid does something ridiculous, and it's a great gift of God.
My son Calvin is here. I'll tell you one, this is the first thing that comes to mind. Recently, there was a little tension, we were working things out, and he just decided to come down with his underwear on his head, you know, just sort of like, "All right, let's do something else. This is getting serious."
There are times when the children just force you to have fun. How many of you – it wouldn't be your proclivity on a stressful moment to make things out of Play-Doh or that wouldn't be your go-to reaction – or to sit down and have a little tiny tea party or to go out and throw the ball around or go for a walk or feed the ducks. The children are gifts from God insofar as they also are a source of joy, they're a source of fun.
When Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven was made for people who are like kids, I think He was talking about not childishness but childlikeness – the ability to trust, have a little fun, relax a little bit, laugh a little bit. You'll notice in the ministry of Jesus it was the religious folks who criticized Him. It was the children who just wanted to play with Him.
I can assure you that the children were a great blessing to the Lord Jesus. With all of the critics and the Pharisees and those who wanted to come and argue the finer points of theology, I believe one of the reasons that the Lord Jesus welcomed to Him children, even though the religious folks discouraged it and said, "No, no, no, we're doing serious religious business here. We don't have time for children."
It was the Lord Jesus who said, "I would rather play with the kids than argue with all the stuffed-shirt neatnik religious types." The kids are fun. They want to sing, they want to dance, they want to hang out, they want to have fun, and it was the Lord Jesus who, I believe, didn't just serve the children but also Himself, enjoyed the children and found them to be a gift to Him as well.
And a mother learns that – that the children, as well, are gifts to her. That the children's desire to play games, to go for walks, to do art projects, to laugh, to be silly, to do something that isn't the most prudent use of time but is really a good time. Those are gifts that God gives to the mother through the children.
We could go on and on and on, and I would simply say this – she, the mothers, will be saved, sanctified, through childbearing. Mothers, in what way is God presently using your child or children or the lack of children to sanctify you, to grow you? And if you will ask that question continually, Mom, before you discipline the children, before you become impatient, before you become angry, before you become frustrated, before you lash out or become despairing, if you ask God, "How are you using this child and this opportunity to sanctify me," then you can praise God in all circumstances knowing that that is His will for you in Christ Jesus not that it is God's will that the child would sin, but it is God's will that the opportunity of sanctification would be captured, and that would be your source of joy.
In closing, he goes on to say this – "If – the only way to really experience the sanctifying work of being a mother is by continuing in what? Faith. How many of you mothers have found out that the first prerequisite of motherhood is faith? Trusting in the Lord Jesus for your own salvation and trusting your children to the Lord Jesus. You can't be all-knowing like Jesus. You can't be all-present like Jesus. You can't be all-powerful like Jesus. You must trust the Lord Jesus for your salvation, and then you must also entrust your children to His care.
How do mothers demonstrate this practically? It's prayer, is it not? Praying for, praying with the children. That is one of the great demonstrations of faith on behalf of the mother. And love – continuing to love the Lord, to love the children, to continue to trust that God is a good God who does love you; that motherhood is a blessing and not a curse. There are seasons that it will be hard, but it is not to destroy or discourage you, it is to sanctify and save you.
Accepting that God is a loving God, that God has loved you through the Lord Jesus and that now you have this wonderful opportunity to continue in faith so that you can be a person of love – love toward that child.
And he closes by saying, "And holiness is self-control." That in the act of being saved through childbearing, a mother's proclivity is, at times, to respond to the sin of the child in a way that is unholy. It's a work out of anger, mean-spiritedness; to punish rather than discipline a child; to silence them rather than to dialog with them; to shove them toward compliance and obedience instead of nurturing them toward holiness and godliness. There are unholy ways that a mother can and does respond to the sin of the child, and what he says is that the sanctification process is the one by which God is seeking to get you to react to the child in a way that is holy not meeting the unholiness of the child with the unholiness of the mother but meeting the unholiness of the child with the holiness of Jesus for modeling and discipline and example.
Some of you mothers, quite frankly, you've really got to ask yourself, "In what way am I acting in a way that is unholy?" Are you embittered against God? Have you given up hope on your children? Are you bitter against your kids? Are you short-tempered? Do you scream at them? Do you lash out and hit them? Not correct them, punish them. Are you stern? Are you working in a way that is unholy, that is not producing a disciple of the Lord Jesus.
The root of a disciple is someone who is disciplined. Are you living in a way that is disciplined, and are you compelling in the child a life of discipline, or are you acting in a way that is unholy toward the child? What he says is you will be sanctified if you continue in faith, trust in Jesus, love, loving God and loving your kids and holiness – not responding to them in a way that dishonors the Lord, and this all requires what? Self-control.
And let me say that in those moments where the children are out of control, those are the moments where you will be tested. How many of you have that child who, upon occasion, completely goes out of control? The boy who decides to get on the fridge and head-dive onto the floor for no reason. It's just that time of day again. He just loses control of all of his faculties of wisdom or prudence. The child who, in the store – they always do it in the store – decides to get naked, throw a tantrum, lay on the ground.
You have moments with the children where they totally lose self-control. The question is, in those moments, will the mother respond with a lack of self-control, or will she maintain self-control? Will she use this as an opportunity to be sanctified and to raise the child, or will she then freak out, yell, scream, join the child in the folly, mimic that kind of thing while the child is screaming so the mother decides, "I guess we're screaming now." Says, "I'm going to outscream the child," loses control.
The children are fighting, so the mother comes in and fights with them. The children are taking things from one another, and the mother doesn't know what to do so she grabs it from all of them. That's lack of self-control.
Now, the only way, ladies, that you'll be able to really appreciate these moments is if you continually meditate on 1 Timothy 2:15. God, this is a child, and these are circumstances in which you are saving me from folly, sin, selfishness, pride, and death. And the Lord Jesus Christ today would like to encourage you to accept your sanctifying role and to continue in faith, trust in Him, love, loving Him and those kids – holiness, walking in a way that honors the Lord and self-control, leading through those opportunities and not responding in a way that dishonors God because you're out of control.
[end audiotape]
Bob: Well, again, we've been listening today to Mark Driscoll, the pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, talking about the sanctifying influence children have on their mothers and on their fathers. What are you chuckling about?
Dennis: I guarantee you, my mom is in heaven right now, she is going "Amen, I was given a child" …
Bob: "He sanctified me."
Dennis: "He sanctified me, brother." I guarantee you, she is going, "Preach it, Mark, preach it."
Bob: Well, his exhortation at the end of today's message that a mom ought to stop and think, "How are my children sanctifying me?" You have a couple of other things on your list that a mom might consider, right?
Dennis: Yes, and I though all of Mark's were great. He gave six principles of how children sanctify their mothers, and I want to share a couple more.
Bob: Okay.
Dennis: Not that mine are better, but just a couple more that came to mind as I thought about my mom and how I undoubtedly sanctified her.
One is they teach is to trust God. Oh, my goodness. What mother doesn't learn to live by faith and trust God with her children as she raises them to let go? And you think about it, without faith, how can you be sanctified? Without faith, how can you become like Christ? And so children, I think, are messengers who come and surround us and press us back against the heart of God.
And then, finally, I think, in the ultimate sense of the word, children teach moms that life is temporal, and there is an end game, and that there is a thing called legacy and that, yes, our lives will end, and we must pass on what we have been taught to the next generation, because in a few years we're going to be out of their lives and out of influence and out of control and they teach us that you know what? Life has a way of going on, God's got a plan He's working, and we need to yield to him and always keep eternity in mind as we live our lives. And, Bob, that one thought right there can do a lot to make us like Jesus Christ.
Bob: Mm-hm. You know, I’m just sitting here thinking that everybody who is listening today has a mom. She may not be living any longer, but we all had a mom, and many of our listeners are moms, and we hope that today's message from Pastor Mark Driscoll has been an encouragement for those women who are moms.
If you'd like to hear the entire message, you can come to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. We've got a link to where you can listening to the message or download it at no cost. Go to FamilyLife Today.com, and we'll link you up to the church website where Mark is the pastor, and you can listen back to that message or pass it along to a friend, if you'd like.
Also on our website, we've got information about a resource that we've created for moms and dads designed to help you press spiritual truth into the lives of your children. It's called "Just Add Family," and it's a collection of creative ideas. It's kind of like a cookbook for family activities or for family times together, all of them with a spiritual target in mind, and all of them a lot of fun for families to do together.
If you're interested in finding out more about "Just Add Family," come to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and the information is available there. You can order this resource from us at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call us, toll-free, at 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329. Again, that's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.
Quickly, let me remind you of something that Dennis mentioned at the beginning of today's program. We are asking our listeners this month, during the month of May, to consider making a donation to our ministry. This has been a particularly challenging year for us. We're about $1 million behind where we were at this point last year in donations, and we're hoping to be able to make up some ground during the month of May.
We've had some friend who have said that they will match every donation we receive this month on a dollar-for-dollar basis up to a total of $356,000. We are very grateful for their generosity, and we're hoping to take full advantage of that matching gift. If we're going to do that, we need you to either go online and make a donation at FamilyLifeToday.com, or to call 1-800-FLTODAY and make your donation over the phone. Again, every donation you make is going to be doubled thanks to this matching gift opportunity.
And we know, for some of you, this is a tough time, and there is just no way you can do anything to help us out financially. We understand that. We are asking listeners to ask this question – what can I do? And then just do what you can do – whatever that is. Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FLTODAY. Make a donation of any amount, and we do appreciate your financial support of this ministry.
And we hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and we hope you can join us back on Monday when Carolyn McCully is going to join us. We're going to hear from her about the lingering impact of the feminist revolution in our culture and in the lives of many women today. I hope you can be here for that discussion beginning on Monday.
I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. Have a great weekend. We'll see you Monday for another edition of FamilyLife Today.
FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas – help for today; hope for tomorrow.
