The Warning Light
Now come on, be honest. What really makes you angry? Program: Real FamilyLife (90 seconds)
Resources mentioned in program are no longer available from FamilyLife.
Dennis Rainey: Now come on, be honest. What really makes you angry?
Guest: 1. What makes me angry is when people cut in line in front of you at a store.
2. In the past, I would get angry with my husband when I felt that he wasn't allowing me to have my way.[ Read Full Transcript ]
3. I guess the thing I get most angry with him about is procrastination.
Dennis Rainey: Is anger necessarily wrong? I don't think so. We can handle the anger incorrectly, but anger itself is a secondary emotion. It's like a flashing red light telling you that something is wrong, such as unmet expectations, hurt feelings, or disappointments.
If the red oil light starts blinking on your car's dashboard, you don't pull out a sledge hammer and beat the light to pieces. You pull off to the side of the road, and deal with the core issue by adding oil.
When your spouse or child becomes angry, you need to take a similar approach. It's easy to become defensive and react to the anger. But a wise person will look past the anger and address the underlying issue.
One final thought. When someone in your family expresses anger, try to remain objective and ask yourself, what is the underlying issue? Deal with the problem, and the flashing light will turn off.
I'm Dennis Rainey, and that's Real FamilyLife.
Date: 12/5/2008 12:00:00 AM
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