PART 6 (almost done): I am glad I removed myself rather than continue to play the martyr role, but I wish I had not saught out a divorce as the Lord is moving in His time not mine. In the event my x, chooses to be a genuine godly man through the help of other christians and counseling, which he is showing signs of, I would consider reconciling. NOTE: sometimes though men will play the part of godly man to lure you back in so be sure to "know them by their fruit". Regardless of what happens, I continue to focus on Christ and persistently pray for the Lord's saving and transforming grace for both me and my x. If interested in updates, you can email me at crtruelove2006@yahoo.com. May God bless you richly in His amazing true love!

PART 5:..used by Him! I have remained in contact with my ex who seems to be slowly be opening up to Jesus as a result of my persistent prayers and of hearing about the Lord's work in my life. Because I am complete in Christ, my x is taking notice. Slowly, in Christ's time, my x seems to be learning his abuse was not acceptable, but not because I have been berating him for it but because I chose to remove myself and not tolerate it when he tries to verbally abuse me on the phone (he has tested me). The things that used to work, work no more. Not because of me but because of the Holy Spirit working in my life. But this only works when I am totally sold out on being in love with Christ. Focused on HIM not him (my ex). You see, by placing my husband first, I was blocking this amazing love Christ wanted to pour out on me. My idol or god prevented me from fully experiencing the true love of God! I am glad I removed myself rather than continue to play the martyr role, but I wish I had not sa

PART 4:..The Bibles says it is adultery to marry another so long as they are alive (shocking I know, but it's in there-look it up- Mark 10:12; Luke 16:18, I Cor 7:39)I think the point is be fully committed regardless of the circumstances. So instead of looking for another so called perfect husband, which absolutely does not exist, I had to examine myself through Christ's eyes. I am happy to say: For the first time I am whole and healthy, thanks be to the love of my life, Jesus Christ! I learned that I needed to persistently seek Jesus to call my x to Himself not persistently bug my x to call on to Jesus (like the parable of the widow and the judge-Luke 18). I prayed (and still pray)every morning and every night out loud, while having faith, that my Savior will not give up on my x but rather draw him to Himself. I prayed that even if it was not Christ's will (for whatever reason) for my x and I to reconcile, that my x would still fully know and experience Christ's love and be used by Hi

PART 3:..drew it out more and added to the chaos. Eventually, I moved out of our home for my safety and well being. However, although I think it was wise of me to separate myself, I regret seeking a divorce. I don't think it right of me to push for the divorce but I went by what others thought I should do rather than obeying the word of God (please see teaching on divorce in the gospels and I Cor). Typically, I would not advise anyone to leave their spouse except in the case of repeated abuse or repeated adultery. It's different when a spouse has genuinely repented by turning from the sin (reminds me of Acts 2:38). Remission means turned away from-stopped it. Since then, I have focused 100% on Christ- He is my priority. I'm not looking for the grass is greener on the other side lie that so many other tell you. You know the ones (all the ones that are truth in lies) "you deserve better", "you are still young, you'll find yourself someone else"...The Bibles says it is adultery to marry a

PART 2 of :"Poor pitiful me I need to divorce my spouse" type of thinking. At any rate, overtime, I realized he was my god because I made my entire world revolve around him and not wanting to upset him for fear of whichever abuse he chose. I played christian victim very well. Although, I continued my relationship with Christ daily, my husband was still my #1 priority. In my opinion, although the physical abuse would be scary at times and often dramatic (early on in our marriage), the emotional and verbal abuse was far more devastating to my spirit. After reading the book Boundaries by McCloud & Townsend, I realized I was enabling my husband to treat me poorly and change began with me. I could control my surroundings by controlling myself. I learned that I can still be godly without being a doormat or abused, whether it be physically, emotionally or verbally. My husband chose to have an on again off again affair with drugs and alcohol, which did not cause the abuse but certainly drew it

I can relate very much to this woman's story. Her husband sounds very much like my husband. It sounds as though her husband was emotionally and verbally abusive to her and the children. My husband was as well and was occasionally physically abusive early on in our marriage (that is until my cop father threw him in jail-btw, thanks dad!). I was under the impression though that the good Christian wife ought to be gentle, submissive, forgiving always turning the other cheek. I thought I could lead him to the Lord by being this way. I would try anything possible to convince him of his need for Jesus. I thought I was living the way Christ would want a wife to be. However, I was playing martyr/evangelist role when it is not my job to save him (aka nag/manipulate/sell him). In other words, I am not his Holy Spirit. However, I am responsible for my actions and reactions to him. I think sometimes spouses cry abuse as a means to an end. "Poor pitiful me I need to divorce my spouse" type of think

Thank You for your courage in being real and sharing your story. It is obvious from some of the comments left here that some can not fully understand what it means to put God before our husbands when it comes to being emotionally and spiritually fulfilled. After being married 8 years, having 2 children and feeling like I might end up in a mental institution I am now realizing that I have put my husband first and expected a fairy tale happily ever after...boy, was that a mistake! I praise God for bringing me back to Him and giving me the hope and the strength that only He can give to love my Husband unconditionally while loving my Savior even more!

This story is so real to me, I have been married for one year and every one including my Pastors are telling me to get a divorce. I struggle trying to make sense of it all. Am I a bad mother for staying in this home or am I a good doing what God wants. This is a very hard thing to do and I applaud this woman and ask God to give me the strength and determination that God has given her. God Bless.

part 2
1 Timothy 5:20 Those who continue in sin, rebuke in the presence of all, so that the rest also will be fearful of sinning.

Titus 1:13 This testimony is true. For this reason reprove them severely so that they may be sound in the faith.

Titus 2:15 These things speak and exhort and reprove with all authority. Let no one disregard you.

Have you seen the fear and low self esteem on some of these wives faces who have been abused by their husbands? This is serious. Ezekiel 3:18 "When I say to a wicked man, 'You will surely die,' and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood." If we warn the wicked, we are not chargeable with their ruin,they are equally to be applied to the final state of all men under every dispensation. Surely the hearers of the gospel should desire warnings, and even reproofs.Though I have not witnessed any woman joyful in these circumstances. Could she be just faking it so as to look pious and super christian? You shall have your reward. Hear the word of God. Abuse is abuse and if no one is ever called on it, it will continue to eat away at the litte bit of decency of humanity left in a country running amuck with abusive men.

1 Timothy 5:20 Those who continue in