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Essentials

Peacemaking for FamiliesPeacemaking for Families By Ken Sande and Tom Raabe Easy-to-follow worksheets help you structure and maintain your family’s budget—a tool you can return to year after year!

Read

Moving Toward Unity by Gary Smalley In marriage, conflict will tempt us to revert to acting like singles. Here's the antidote to the germs that infect your relationships. More Resolving conflict articles

Listen

Causes of ConflictGuests include: Tara Barthel, Judy DablerToday on the broadcast, certified Christian conciliators, Tara Barthel and Judy Dabler, talk to Dennis Rainey about the conflict that almost ended their friendship and halted the writing of their book, Peacemaking Women.More Resolving conflict broadcasts
"What Did You Do With My Real Parents?"

A Weekend To Remember® conference can make a good marriage better and can spark new hope for a relationship that has nearly died. One of the favorite letters FamilyLife has received over the years was from a grown daughter who expressed her amazement at the changes in her parents, married 27 years, after they attended a conference in Washington, D.C.

Dear FamilyLife:

I don't know what you did with my real mom and dad, but I love the new ones you've sent me. My parents were among the hundreds of couples at the Weekend to Remember conference this past weekend, and boy are they different!

I am convinced you switched my real parents with people who look like them, because:

  1. Every day since the conference, they have been talking over what they learned and comparing notes from their workbooks over dinner.
  2. They have been talking instead of arguing.
  3. Dad calls Mom "my wife" instead of "your mother."
  4. They talk about legacies, about communication, about understanding one another.
  5. My mom actually asks my dad to do things instead of expecting him to offer—and he says yes!
  6. They're even holding hands.
  7. They're clinging to each other instead of to us kids! Hallelujah!

What did you do to them?

I remember praying as a little girl that my parents' fighting would stop, that the constant tension between them would dissipate, and that they would just show love to one another. Both of them were always very leery about seeking outside help; they had resigned themselves to the idea of being good parents, but having an unfulfilling marriage.

Though I'm now out of the house and living my own life, the Lord never forgot the prayers of my childhood. I was blessed to be listening to "FamilyLife Today" on my way to work on the Thursday before the conference. WAVA offered free registration to the sixth caller. Stuck in traffic, I fumbled for my mobile phone and frantically dialed.

When Mr. Lee answered the phone, I held my breath, and then asked, "What caller am I?" He answered laughingly, "About the 112th!" I told him I had hoped to win the registration for my parents, married 27 years. Out of compassion, he told me the next giveaway was mine!

I wondered how I would get them to actually go to the conference. I told the Lord that only He could have arranged for me to get the reservations, so I would trust Him to see that my parents made it there.

I called both of them from work that morning and informed them they had about 28 hours to prepare themselves for three days together. Surprisingly, they agreed. To my heart's delight, they went off to the conference Friday night; I was grateful they didn't have longer to think about going or else they may have changed their minds.

I sent to the conference a man and a woman who had given up all hope of happiness. You returned to me two people committed to the goal of having a fulfilling and godly relationship with one another and to living out the rest of their days in love and hope.


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