FamilyLife.  Help for today.  Hope for tomorrow. 

A Christian organization helping couples
build healthier marriages and families.

FL HomeAbout UsRegistered? Log in | Not registered? Learn more
Find HelpMarriageHealthy MarriageRomance & SexChallenges & ConflictsBetter ParentingSpiritual GrowthFamily Issues
  • Articles
  • Conferences
  • Radio
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Message Boards
  • Newsletters
  • Counseling
  • Shop
  • Donate

Essentials

Choosing Forgiveness: Your Journey to FreedomChoosing Forgiveness: Your Jouney to Freedom By Nancy Leigh DeMoss Nancy Leigh DeMoss explains how forgiving like God is a choice that frees us from the burdens of bitterness, anger, and isolation. If you struggle with long-held hurts, God's truth and Nancy's wisdom hold help and healing for you.

Read

Walking With God in Your Marriage by Dennis and Barbara Rainey These seven spiritual disciplines will help you build your house on the rock-solid foundation of Jesus Christ. More Spiritual disciplines articles

Listen

Becoming Heavenly Minded Guests include: Crawford LorittsAre you living for today, or are you living for eternity? Today on the broadcast, Dennis Rainey talks to well-loved author and pastor Crawford Loritts about living with eternity in mind. Join us to hear Crawford talk about the unusual Kingdom assignment he gave to his congregation. More Spiritual disciplines broadcasts
Prayer: The Secret to a Lasting Marriage

Dennis Rainey

Maybe you’ve had a similar experience with your own spouse:

One night, my wife Barbara and I ended up in bed facing in opposite directions.

Since early in our marriage, we have prayed together each night before we go to bed. But that night, I didn’t want to pray with her. In my conscience, however, Jesus Christ was asking me, “Are you going to pray with her?”

“I don’t like her tonight, Lord,” I replied.

“I know you don’t,” He said. “But you’re the one who tells people that you pray with your wife all the time.” Slowly, the Lord turned me over, and I said, “Sweetheart, will you forgive me?” And Barbara and I talked and prayed.

I thank God for that tradition of prayer He has helped us build early in our marriage. I am not exaggerating when I say that Barbara and I might not still be married had it not been for daily prayer.

If there is one simple ritual I would urge couples to begin adopting in their marriages, it is this one -- the habit of praying together every day.

When I was still a newlywed in 1972, I asked my boss and mentor, Carl Wilson, for his single best piece of marital advice. He and his wife had been married 25 years and had four children.

“Denny, that’s easy,” he said. “Pray daily together. Every night for 25 years we have prayed together as a couple.”

Since that day nearly three decades ago, Barbara and I have missed daily prayer fewer than a dozen times. That discipline has helped resolve conflicts, kept communication flowing, and, most importantly, acknowledged our utter dependence upon Jesus Christ as the Lord and Builder of our family.

Surveys at our FamilyLife Marriage Conferences indicate that less than 8 percent of all couples pray together on a regular basis. I suspect that less than 5 percent of all Christian couples pray together daily.

Let’s bring back a popular slogan from the 1950s: “The family that prays together stays together.” I believe that if every Christian couple would pray together regularly, our nation would experience a spiritual renewal of historical proportions, including a dramatic drop in the Christian community’s divorce rate.

And when the divorce rate drops within the church, we will see a spiritual and moral awakening in America.

I want to challenge you to something today: to commit to praying with your spouse for one week before you go to bed each night.

Please don’t say you’re too busy for this. Don’t let time in front of the TV watching a ball game or a sitcom keep you from praying together. The average American adult watches 30 hours of television a week-and there has to be a little time in there to pray!

By the same token, don’t let hobbies, singing in the choir, or working at the church keep you from praying together. It’s easy to get busy-we all have a lot going on in our lives. But don’t get so busy that you can’t make the time to pray together with your spouse. Avoid living independently of one another. God gave you your spouse, and your marriage is the single most important relationship you have on this earth.

Of course, you’ll have interruptions when you pray together. Anyone with a telephone, children, or even pets can be guaranteed of that! But I encourage you to go past the interruptions. Time for devotion and prayer with your wife or husband is just too important.

When you pray together, you multiply your joys, divide your sorrows, add to your experiences with God together, and help subtract your haunting past from your life. During the rugged times of your marriage, you can share your burdens. Prayer can also take away the desire to get even and replace it with a willingness to work things out.

I urge you to make this commitment with your spouse. You may be afraid to start, and let me assure you, you are not alone. Many people are hesitant to start praying with their spouses. If this is the case, try saying this prayer: “Lord, teach me how to pray with my spouse. I’m afraid.”

I can promise you; it will be one of the most rewarding things you will ever do for your marriage and for your family.


Rate this article:

Average rating: 
    • Currently 5/5 Stars.

Comments:
Showing 1 to 5 of 5   First | Prev | 1 Next | Last 
tiffany @ 10/15/2008 9:37:09 AM 
I am a new christain. My husband isn't up to praying with me.I pray at dinner,he doesn't feel you shounld go to church all the time.
Clement @ 8/27/2008 4:40:54 PM 
Here's a beautiful Orthodox Christian prayer for marriage that can serve as a starting point for praying together: Lord Jesus Christ, by Your presence You blessed the wedding in Cana and showed us that You are the true priest of mystical and pure marriage. We thank You for the day on which by Your heavenly blessing You joined us in the sacrament of marriage. Lord, continue to bless and enrich our marriage in love companionship, mutual support, oneness of heart and progress in faith and life. Protect our Holy wedlock from sin, evil and danger. Nurture between us the spirit of understanding, the spirit of forgiveness and the spirit of peace, that no resentment, quarrel or other problem may cause us to stumble and fall. Grant us to see our own faults and not to judge each other. Keep our bond of love always new. Gladden our lives with the joys of marriage, that with one heart we may praise and glorify You. Amen.
Libby @ 6/18/2008 1:19:34 PM 
This is one thing that my husband and I never did with each other in our marriage for the first 211/2 years but we do now. THe first day of counseling from his affair of 3 months, that night this was the first thing we started. We pray in the mornig together before we ever get out of bed and at night before we go to sleep. It has been the one thing that has helped us in rebuilding our marriage and relationship with each other more than anyting else. Don't wait to start it when there is a problem. Start it now. God is in the middle of "us" now more than ever. It definitely brings you closer to one another and to God. We will celebrate 23 years together in August.
Anonymous @ 5/7/2008 8:23:32 AM 
My husband and I have been praying together every morning before going out to work. It have been the most rewarding explosion to our marriage since we have remarried. I agree that a family prays together stays together! When we have a difference in opinion we resolve them by prayer. We pray then come together and discuss what is going on with us and talk how the Lord reveals to us and how the enemy tries to bring old tricks into our new relationship but he has no power because we know definetly that prayer is the key and this marriage have been ordained by God.

Gary-Angela,Al
Anonymous @ 4/19/2008 1:43:21 PM 
My wife and I have been reading the devotions from the book "Moments with You" and praying together every night. We have never felt closer, both to each other and to Jesus Christ. It is something I would highly recommend to every couple.

Matt-Ames, IA
Showing 1 to 5 of 5   First | Prev | 1 Next | Last 

Redraw Image

Login Here