Siblings on Attack
Sometimes, children save their most hurtful words for those closest to them.
Program: Real FamilyLife (90 seconds)
Resources mentioned in program are no longer available from FamilyLife.
Dennis Rainey: Sometimes, children save their most hurtful words for those closest to them.
Guest: My brother's five years old and he really looks up to me. But I've probably said hurtful things to him. Like, "leave me alone, you're getting on my nerves." And that probably hurts his feelings.[ Read Full Transcript ]
Dennis Rainey: When brothers and sisters get angry with one another, they can say harmful words that they really don't mean. Statements like, "I wish you'd never been born" can inflict wounds that last for a lifetime.
When our children were young, my wife, Barbara, and I had to rule this type of verbal barrage off limits. That's not to say we want them to hide their feelings. But we've tried to teach them to express their emotions in a non - threatening way.
Instead of "I hate you," a child could say, "You make me so angry." Or if they're feeling creative, they could say, "I'm so angry with you right now I could scream for an hour." Children are creative enough to enjoy the challenge of coming up with acceptable alternatives.
One final thought. Our children need to learn to express their feelings without attacking the worth of people. If we help them practice at home among their siblings, they'll benefit from it the rest of their lives.
I'm Dennis Rainey, and that's Real FamilyLife.
Date: 3/10/2009 12:00:00 AM
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