Mouth Manners Rule # 23
Rule:There is an old adage that incorrectly says sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. Words can and often do hurt. Reason:We have a way of remembering the unkind remarks made to hurt us. Application:Use an activity such as watching a clean, but funny family show on television or on video. Let each member of the family point out occasions when an unkind remark is made that may be meant to be funny, but is instead hurtful. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 22
Rule:Good mouth manners exclude unkind comments, gossip, and mocking others. Reason:It hurts to have someone say unkind things about you, tell your private business, or make fun of you. Application:Explain to your child how to handle such bad mouth manners. One approach is not to participate in the name calling or gossip. Another approach is to make a positive comment about the person being “racked over the coals.” Sometimes, silence is the best way to quiet a vocal naysayer. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 21
Rule:Correcting another’s grammar or remarks should be done privately and tactfully, if at all. Reason:Sometimes corrections must be given to prevent an unfortunate situation. Sometimes, it is kinder to correct than to remain silent, but there is a right way to do it. Application:Teach your child to start with “I” instead of “you” when expressing a difference of opinion. For instance, your child can tactfully say, “I thought the teacher said Chapter 12 until I saw the assignment she wrote on the board saying we are to study Chapter 13.” Correcting information that way is kinder than saying, “You got it all wrong. How can you be so stupid? Didn’t you see the assignment on the board?” Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 20
Rule:Good mouth manners should include good clean humor. Reason:Good humor takes some of the edge out of an otherwise dreary day, if it is not at someone’s expense. Application:At the dinner table or in the family car, ask each child if they know a funny story. Perhaps, they heard it on the radio or read it in a book. Tell the family that jokes that are unclean or unkind to others will not be heard. Funny story: A little boy’s family needed money so he wrote God a letter asking for $100. The letter was sent to the dead letter file in Washington, D.C., where a postal worker read it, felt compassion, and sent a $5.00 bill to the return address. When the little boy got the letter, he thanked God, but asked Him not to send it through Washington next time because they kept $95 out of the $100 he was sure God had sent. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 19
Rule:A child who hears only correction gets a negative picture of himself and feels discouraged. Reason:Offering praise inspires our children to be respectful, to cooperate, and to take responsibility. Application:Instead of taking the easy way out and blurting out a negative command or reprimand, find something positive to say before correcting your child. Perhaps, you can say, “I noticed that you were polite and well behaved during the party. Next time, I’m sure you will remember to thank the mom for inviting you to help celebrate. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 18
Rule:Flattery can be a form of bad mouth manners. Parents should avoid flattering their child. Reason:Flattery is often an unearned compliment and is perceived as false praise. It comes across as insincere. Example: Praising a child for something he or she had no control over. It just happened. Application:Be specific. While saying, “You were a good boy,” is not bad, try saying, “I noticed that you held your tongue when the little girl yelled at you.” Praise accomplishment, not being. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 17
Rule:Parents should practice good mouth manners by praising and recognizing the achievements of their children. Reason:Genuine and deserved praise will reinforce positive, constructive behavior. Application:Be specific in saying good things about your child’s accomplishment, “I liked the way you laid out your clothes last night for school today.” Don’t say, “Well, it’s about time you laid out your clothes. I’ve told you often enough.” Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 16
Rule:It is impolite, if not hurtful, to make fun of the way someone speaks, such as with a different accent. Reason:We learn our speech patterns from listening to our family from birth, and pronunciation once learned is difficult to change. Application:Explain to your children about different cultures, accents, and customs. Remember that God loves all the children of the world wherever they live. While remaining patriotic, children should learn to accept people who are different from them. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 15
Rule:Thou shalt not misuse the name of the Lord your God. (NIV Bible) Swearing is misusing the Lord’s name or names such as God, Jesus, and Christ. Reason:Swearing breaks the third of the Ten Commandments. Swearing shows a lack of self-control. Some say that it reflects the swearer’s limited vocabulary. Application:Explain to your children that they will hear God’s name used in an irreverent, profane way all their life, but they do not have to join the crowd of swearers. Modeling good language before your children will reap great rewards. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 14
Rule:Unless there is a fire or someone is dying, it is almost never appropriate to yell out. Reason:Yelling startles people, making them uncomfortable unnecessarily. Sometimes tempers flare in response to yelling. Application:Calmly instruct your children to find the person in the house who is needed rather than yelling out for him or her. The best way to stop the yelling in your house is for the parent to refrain from yelling by calmly handling difficult situations. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 13
Rule:Contradicting someone’s explanation is rude. Reason:The speaker has the right to express an opinion. Contradicting can be the same as calling someone a liar, though that is seldom the intention of the one making the contradiction. Application:Contradictions usually come as interruptions when we blurt out our opposite point of view. Teach your children that though it is sometimes necessary to disagree with someone, it is not acceptable to be rude. Teach your children some alternative phraseology, such as “Are you sure…?” or “I did not understand it that way.” Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 12
Rule:Children should learn that there are times when interruptions are necessary. Reason:When a child takes an important phone call for you, it may be necessary for him or her to interrupt your chat with the neighbor. Application:Teach your children how to interrupt you when it becomes absolutely necessary. They can simply say, “Excuse me,” or make eye contact with you as you speak, or raise their hand to get your attention. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 11
Rule:Interrupting others is rude. It means asking questions or making remarks while another is speaking. Reason:Someone has said that interrupting is like knocking someone off the path. To interrupt the person talking is offensive to everyone present. Application:To teach children not to interrupt, show them privately what it feels like by interrupting their speech, explaining that you are teaching them a valuable lesson. Respect your children enough not to interrupt them, unless it is absolutely necessary. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 10
Rule:Children should be taught not to tell a lie. Reason:Telling one lie usually begets another lie. Application:Always be truthful with your child by using tact and telling only what is necessary for them to know. When children hear their parents telling even white lies, they will likely do the same (and may lose some respect for the parent). Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 9
Rule:Children should be taught not to hurt others’ feelings with their words and actions. Reason:Scripture tells us in the Golden Rule to treat others as we want to be treated. Also, when we hurt others’ feelings we won’t have as many friends, and we will likely suffer the same ill treatment from our peers. Application:When you and your children see a person with a disability, you can teach them to not blurt out, “Look at that funny-looking man” by explaining how badly it makes them feel when someone makes fun of them. Give them an example, if you can. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 8
Rule:Telling the truth is a virtue all children should be taught. Learning the difference between lying, telling the truth, and using tact is very important. Reason:Telling the truth is the ninth of the Ten Commandments. Application:Teaching young children to be honest and yet not offend is a challenge because they do not easily understand the difference between truth and fiction. They can be brutally honest. When children receive a present they do not like, they can learn to say, “Thank you for giving it to me” instead of saying, “I hate it.” When children attend a party they do not enjoy, they can say, “Thank you for inviting me.” Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 7
Rule:A compliment should be accepted graciously. Reason:Saying, “Oh, this old thing” makes the giver of the compliment look foolish. Application:Always give a simple thank you as a gracious acknowledgement of a kind remark. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 6
Rule:It is proper in the South to respond with “Yes, ma’am” and “No, sir.” In other parts of the country, parents teach their children to say, “Yes” and “No” when responding to a question. Reason:Either of these methods teaches a child to show respect. “Yeah, Yo, and Huh” are lazy expressions and are not appropriate. Application:Always say yes or yes ma’am and their counterparts to your children and they will likely mimic you. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 5
Rule:It is proper to say excuse me and pardon me every time you think you might be offending or inconveniencing someone. Reason:Saying excuse me or pardon me usually creates good will and eases tempers. Application:In an hour, try counting the times you can find a good reason to say excuse me or pardon me for some small infraction, blunder, or mishap. Asking someone to excuse you or pardon you is a minor inconvenience that shows you care. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 4
Rule:The best expression of regret is “I’m sorry,” not “It’s not my fault, or I didn’t mean to do it.” Reason:Saying I’m sorry means taking responsibility for our actions and shows genuine concern. Application:Say I’m sorry to your child every time you find it appropriate. Gently prod your child to say it when needed. If he or she refuses to say I’m sorry after hitting Tommy, you can say, “I’m sorry my son hit you. Are you all right?” This teaches by example. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 3
Rule:Children and adults should say please and thank you. Reason:Words such as please and thank you are like a boomerang. When we use them they usually come back to us. People who habitually use please and thank you are nice to be around. Application:Model before your children by saying please and thank you to your child. Say, “Please pass the salt to me, Kevin” and “Thank you” after you receive it. Remind your child gently to say please and thank you when he or she forgets. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 2
Rule:Children should be taught to greet and respond to friends and acquaintances of their parents. Erma Bombeck said, “A grunt is never acceptable. Hello is nice.” Reason:Children who learn to meet and greet people usually get along better in life. Application:Teach your child to say, “Hello, Mrs. Peters.” When Mrs. Peters says, “Hello, Melissa. How are you?” Melissa should say, “I am fine, thank you,” or give a similar response. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Mouth Manners Rule # 1
Rule:Parents should use a friendly tone to teach good mouth manners to their children. Reason:Showing anger and impatience after an infraction of the rules often creates a negative experience which becomes counterproductive. Application:As a parent, refrain from scolding with angry words or you may demonstrate the same improper behavior you are trying to correct in your child. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Meeting and Greeting Rule # 40
Rule:Perfume and cologne should whisper and not shout. Reason:Some people are allergic to perfume and cologne. Application:Ask a family member or close friend if the aroma of your toiletries is too strong. Some workplaces have rules against wearing fragrances. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
Meeting and Greeting Rule # 39
Rule:The proper way to stand is with arms free and relaxed at your side. Reason:If you cross your arms across your chest, tucking your hands under your arms, you look cold, mad, or indifferent. Application:To appear warm and approachable, stand with your arms hanging loosely at your sides. Holding your hands below your waist and clasping your hands with your arms forming a “v” rounds the shoulders. It is called the fig leaf position. Copyright 2003, June Hines Moore Click here for a biblical approach and resources on manners.
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