Apply the 23rd Psalm
The 23rd Psalm speaks of the Lord as the Psalmist's shepherd. The six verses of this song passage reflect the way the Lord fulfills our every need, the way the shepherd does for the sheep. This week, go through each part of this passage, writing down how Jesus has fulfilled these shepherding qualities in your life. Here is the passage in its entirety:
The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not want. (How has He taken care of your wants?)
He makes me lie down in green pastures;He leads me beside quiet waters. (How has He given you peace?)
He restores my soul; (How has He restored you?)
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name's sake. (How has He guided you?)
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me; (How has He calmed your fears?)
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. (How has He comforted you?)
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; (How has He given you peace with your enemies?)
You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows. (How has He blessed you?)
Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. (How has He provided you with goodness and lovingkindness?)
Be a Servant
Set up a time to babysit for some married friends. Many singles long to have a family, and this is a way to spend time with children. It also is an excellent opportunity to serve your brothers and sisters in Christ. Many parents need one-on-one time to build their marriage relationship, and the only way they get that time is when someone is willing to watch the kids. The parents will come home renewed and very grateful for your involvement with their family.
Check Your Attitude
It's easy to be cynical of singleness when you're feeling lonely. If you're living in an attitude of bitterness, whether it is out of jealousy or sadness, ask the Lord to change your bitterness into joy. Look for the good in your situation, and this week commit to being thankful. Make a list of all the positive aspects of being single. Philippians 2:14-15 tells us, "Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world…"
Checking Inventory
Almost every single has a list of qualities that he or she is looking for in a spouse. This list may not be written down, but there are probably mental notes in your mind of what makes a person attractive, the kinds of qualities you are looking for in his or her personality, and hopefully a standard of his or her religious views and values in life. How long has it been since you checked the inventory in your own life? Have you been holding the standards and values that you are expecting from a future mate? Today, instead of focusing on what you want in a spouse, make a list of ways you could improve to be a great spouse for that someone special who may be in your future. Ask God to reveal to you areas that you need to work on, and then begin to allow Him to mold and shape you into the person that He wants you to be.
Choose a Symbol
Symbols are a powerful way to remind us of truth. In the Old Testament, the Israelites would often place stones in significant places to be reminded of what miracle took place there (see Exodus 28:12, Joshua 4:5-7). Today, choose a symbol that you can wear that will remind you of God's love for you. Women may choose a ring, bracelet, or pin. Men may choose a necklace, key chain, or even a pin that you wear on the inside of your shirt.
Take time to pick out something that is symbolic in color, style, and substance. You may choose something that is made of gold to remind you of God's pure, unconditional love for you. Some singles choose to have these objects engraved with a significant verse or saying to remind them of God's love. No matter what you choose, make sure it is of special significance to you and put it in a place where you will see it often.
Choose to Give
When you have one income, it's easy to become selfish with your money, spending it only on yourself and forgetting that the income you have been given is a gift from God. Today, choose to spend money on someone else. Jesus says in Luke 6:38, "Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return." Here are some suggestions of how to give:
- Buy a gift for a friend for no reason.
- Donate to a ministry or organization that you believe is making a difference.
- Sponsor a child through a ministry like Compassion International.
- Give an extra offering to your church.
- Send an anonymous financial gift to someone in need.
- Support a missionary.
Cleansing Bad Habits
When you're living alone, it's easy to cultivate bad habits. Maybe for you it's the way you clean your home. Perhaps your bad habit is spending a lot of money on useless gadgets. Maybe you struggle with paying your bills on time, leaving the toilet seat up, or even eating lots of unhealthy foods. Commit today to breaking a bad habit. If you do get married in the future, your spouse will be thankful that you took the time to develop discipline in your life. If you never get married, you will benefit from the disciple that it takes to kick a bad habit. Take a few moments to think of the bad habits that you need to work on. Proverbs 15:32 says, "He who neglects discipline despises himself, but he who listens to reproof acquires understanding."
Commit to Modesty
There is a lot of pressure for singles to look and dress in a trendy fashion. It's important to look fashionable and well-dressed, but make sure you have a strong commitment to modesty. It is getting harder to find clothes that are trendy and modest, but it's important to avoid clothing that tempts the opposite sex with lustful thoughts. When facing a decision of whether you should or should not wear a particular garment, it is always better to err on the side of too modest than it is to err on the side of not modest enough.
Commit to Purity
In a world that is inundated with the message of sex, it's hard to be single with a pure mind. Today, commit to purity in body and in soul. 1 Corinthians 3:16 says, "Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?" Our bodies are not our own, but they are the dwelling place of the Spirit of God.
If a king were coming to your home, wouldn't you clean it to the best of your ability so that he would be honored? Our bodies should be the same. That means not only committing to abstaining from sex, but it also means abstaining from promiscuous behavior like heavy petting, heavy kissing, or other types of compromising behaviors. Act at all times as if the King were with you … because He is.
Declare a TV Fast
Many singles choose to spend a lot of their downtime watching television. This month, declare a TV fast. Similar to fasting from food, this declaration would commit you to turning off your television for an entire month. Often, the time you spend in front of the TV is keeping you from doing other things that would build into your life or into the lives of others. During the time you would normally spend watching TV, try activities like these: Memorize portions of Scripture … work on a project you have wanted to do for a long time … organize singles events, like game nights or a miniature golf outings … spend more time with your extended family … learn a new hobby … read books.
Encourage a Friend
If you are feeling particularly lonely, take the time to coordinate a book of encouragement for a friend. Buy a simple scrapbook and fill it with pictures, Scriptures, and letters of encouragement (from yourself and others), and give it to your friend as a labor of love. As a result, you accomplish several things:
- You will take your mind off of your own loneliness and put your focus on someone else.
- You will be giving love away to someone else who might need encouragement during a difficult time. Loving another not only makes that person feel valuable, it also gives you a sense of purpose as you help someone else.
- You will feel loved in return. Most of the time, when you do something loving for someone, that person responds in love.
- You will glorify God as you show his unconditional love for others.
Find Rest
Seek to rest today. Many singles can fill their schedules with activities and forget that God calls us to rest, not only physically but also spiritually. In Matthew 11:29, Jesus says, "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
If you find that you have a hard time saying "no" to activities, then take out your calendar and schedule a day of rest. Then when you are asked to attend a social gathering, you will already have plans for that night. While resting, spend some time with the Lord. Seek His voice and meditate on His presence. You will find that taking the time to do this will rejuvenate you physically and spiritually.
Finding Your Purpose
Many singles are always looking for the next best thing to fulfill them—a better career, a suitable mate, different circumstances. But these things cannot take the place of finding God's purposes for our lives. If you've found yourself in such a vicious cycle today, ask God to reveal His purpose for your life and circumstances. Through prayer, He will eventually bring His answer to light, and you will find the contentment that you long for.
Focus on Others
When you spend a lot of time alone, it's easy to think of yourself most of the time. This week, purposely focus on others for the entire week. Give a gift to a friend, just because. Let someone else know that you have been thinking of him or her (preferably a friend of the same gender, so it will not be perceived in the wrong context). Throw a party for no special reason and make someone the guest of honor. Then make sure that person feels loved and appreciated.
Go on a Group Date
Dating isn't just for one man and one woman. Dating can be done in a group. This week, call several of your single friends, men and women, and invite them to join you in a group date. Make sure you set rules for the night—it's not meant to be romantic, but a time for men and women to interact with each other and enjoy the differences that God made between us without entering into a romantic relationship. The group should have 8-10 people—not too small to make it feel intimate, and not so large that you can't get to know everyone. Be sure to invite an even number of people, so no one feels like the odd man out. Then choose a place where you can have a lot of interaction, like miniature golf, go-cart racing, bowling, ballroom dancing, or laser tag. And to end the night, don't forget to go out for dessert!Also, make sure everyone knows the rules of payment. As a nice gesture, the group of men could pitch in and pay for the women, or if that is too uncomfortable for your situation, make sure everyone knows that he or she will be paying for his or her own ticket.
God's Divine Purposes
It's easy to see singleness as a curse instead of a blessing, but 1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to "give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." God has a purpose in every situation we find ourselves in. Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Today, ask God to show you His divine purposes for your being single right now, and write down what He tells you. Keep the list in a place where it is easily accessible, and when you begin to feel discontent as a single, pull out the list and find comfort in the fact that God has a purpose for what you're going through.
Handwrite a Letter
When was the last time you sat down and wrote an encouraging note to a friend? Isn't it about time you did it again? Everyone needs a little "love letter" now and then. Just think of the last time someone sat down to tell you how much they appreciate you. This week, take the time to handwrite a nice long letter to a single friend who has touched your life. Maybe even write several, and start a new trend among your friends of encouraging each other.
Imagining Heaven
The Bible often reminds us that our focus should not be on the things of this world, but on the things of our heavenly home. Remember that this world is passing away (1 Corinthians 7:31), so keep an eternal perspective. How long has it been since you thought about your heavenly home? Take a few moments and try to imagine heaven—the streets of gold, the crystal sea, the tree of life. Imagine being in the throne room as all the nations sing praises to our God (Revelation 7:9). This world is not our home. We are strangers and aliens to this place (1 Peter 2:11). So take courage today and press on fighting your spiritual battles knowing that the best is yet to come.
Invest in the Future
How is your financial future? Many singles wait until they are married before they begin securing their future financially. But this is unwise because there is no guarantee that they will ever be married.
The Bible calls us to be good stewards of the gifts we have been given (1 Peter 4:10), and you are wasting years of gained interest when you don't use your single years to your fullest advantage. Today, begin learning how you can invest and secure your financial future. For more information, visit Crown Financial Ministries or Ronald Blue and Company. Both organizations help Christians learn to manage their money from a Biblical perspective.
It's Okay to be Sad
We often try to hide our weaknesses and put on a "smiley face." We don't want anyone (even ourselves) to think that there is anything to be sad about. There is a great benefit to letting go of the burden of trying to make everything appear happy all of the time. If you are feeling burdened today, take some time out from social activities and allow yourself the grace to be sad. Psalm 126:5 says, "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy" (KJV). God loves the brokenhearted. As a matter of fact, He sent Christ to heal the brokenhearted (Luke 4:18). Don't let the burden of having a glad appearance keep you from experiencing the healing of Christ.
Learn Something New
Use your free time to learn to do something new—like pottery, painting, tennis, or ballroom dancing. Invite a group of friends to go with you. These types of activities are good for camaraderie and building a sense of family. It also allows a safe place for men and women to interact together without feeling the pressures of romance. In addition, learning to do something new will enrich your life and possibly become a great form of recreation.
Learn to Ask Questions
Being involved in singles activities, you will interact with a lot of people. You may be the kind of person who feels intimidated by talking to people. Or you may be the kind of person who doesn't have any trouble talking, but you do have trouble being quiet. No matter where you fall in between these two extremes, learn to ask questions. Asking questions accomplishes several positive actions. It moves attention off yourself and onto the other person; it allows you to listen; it gives you something to talk about, and it helps you get to know other people. When interacting with someone, have several questions in mind to start with, like:
- What do you do for a living? What do you enjoy most about your job?
- Have you lived here long? If not, where are you from and how did you come to live here? Tell me about your family.
- What do you like to do in your spare time?
- Where are you spiritually?
Many people are somewhat surprised when you ask about their spiritual walk, but they are usually brave enough to answer. This may even give you an opportunity to share the gospel with those who do not know Christ.
Leaving a Spiritual Legacy
Many singles lament not being able to have children, but that doesn't mean you can't leave a legacy. Today, start investigating how you can leave a spiritual legacy. Seek out a teenager or young person to mentor, sign up to volunteer for youth activities, or become a regular volunteer at your local orphanage. Having your own children isn't the only way to have an influence over the life of another person. What ways can you minister that would leave an influence on others?
Leaving Love Notes
Being single can be lonely at times, and that loneliness can cause us to forget that there is a God who loves us so much that He sent His Son to die in our place. It's easy to go about life being distracted by our circumstances and forgetting that God is so much bigger than our problems and disappointments. This week, leave yourself notes reminding you how much God loves you. These notes could include Scriptures, or they could just say something like, "Remember today that God loves you and He's watching out for you." Place one in your car, perhaps taped to the dash; attach one to your computer at work; leave one in your desk drawer; put one on your mirror so that you will see it as you get ready in the mornings.
Memorize Philippians 4:11b-12
It's easy to get into a habit of complaining about our circumstances. How often are you critical of your single status or perhaps critical of others who are no longer single? For the times you are tempted to make negative statements about your singleness, memorize Paul's statement from Philippians 4:11b-12: "I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need."The Bible tells us that God's Word is a weapon, so when we memorize His word we are equipped to battle temptation. Whenever you feel the urge to complain about your circumstances, cite this verse and it will help you consider how to be content even when circumstances are difficult to deal with.
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