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    • Parenting Tip # 227
    • When your child enters high school, take him on a spiritual journey through the book of Proverbs. This book of the Bible has some of the best wisdom for life issues, such as how to make good decisions concerning the opposite sex, how to make right choices, how to work, and how to be a faithful and responsible steward of what God has given you.
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    • Parenting Tip # 226
    • Let your children know that God has a special mission for their lives. He has gifted them with abilities, personality, and certain qualities that will help accomplish His plan. You can help them discover their unique gifts by encouraging them in the things that they seem to do well and feel passionate about. As they grow and mature, find creative ways to guide them in using those gifts for God?s glory.
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    • Parenting Tip # 225
    • One of the best ways to instill a missions mind-set in your child is to go together on a short-term mission, here in the United States or overseas. In addition to the impact you will have for Christ, you will find that your child will change in significant ways as he moves out of his normal comfort zone and sees the need that others have for Christ.
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    • Parenting Tip # 224
    • Helping your child to avoid the pornography trap is crucial in a world where the media inundates us with sex and sexual images. Some people are as prone to a compulsive need for pornography as others are to alcohol and drugs. Talk with your child about the dangers of pornography. Help him to make wise entertainment choices, and help him decide in advance how he will handle being confronted with pornography. You can role play various types of situations and discuss how he can respond. For instance, you might discuss what he can do if he finds a pornographic magazine in the trash at a neighbor?s house.
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    • Parenting Tip # 223
    • Talk to your child about the importance of keeping his life pure by guarding what enters through the eyes. Point out to him the dangers of pornography. Aggressively monitor his entertainment habits by asking hard questions: ?Have you been looking at or reading anything at school that you ought not be looking at? When you?re on the computer, are you surfing where you ought not be surfing??
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    • Parenting Tip # 222
    • When your teen takes on a part-time job, help him to understand that he isn?t just working for a boss who is selling pizza or shoes or chicken sandwiches; he is representing Jesus Christ and his family. Encourage him to be the best worker he can be by teaching him to dress appropriately for the job, arrive at work ahead of time, find out what?s expected, work hard, be honest, and to resist pressure from coworkers or a boss to act against his beliefs.
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    • Parenting Tip # 220
    • Much of the on-the-job training for the workplace needs to take place at home as children participate in simple chores and tasks. Try starting your children off with small tasks, like putting the silverware in its proper place after being washed, or dusting. As they grow older they can learn to do larger tasks, such as cleaning the kitchen, taking out the trash, and washing the family car.
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    • Parenting Tip # 216
    • Challenge your children to reject mediocrity. Teach them the importance of striving for excellence in everything you do. Within his God-given capabilities, challenge him to rise above the crowd, to seek higher standards of achievements, and to be all that God has gifted him to be. This involves training him to be trustworthy, to fulfill his commitments, and to do a good job even when nobody is looking.
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    • Parenting Tip # 214
    • Use special occasions to train children how to use the tongue positively. Thanksgiving is a great opportunity for this. Ask each family member to write down five things he is thankful for, and encourage him to think about the others as he writes. Ask each person to share these aloud, then save the lists in a notebook for review the next Thanksgiving.
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    • Parenting Tip # 213
    • For rewarding good behavior/penalizing bad behavior as it relates to sibling rivalry, try this: Put a designated number of dollar bills in a jar. Every time your children go to war and can?t work it out by themselves, take a dollar out of the jar. Put a dollar into the jar when they go out of their way to be kind to one another or are able to work out a conflict. At the end of a designated time period, the children get to split what is left in the jar. If their behavior is so bad that the money runs out, then dip into their allowances.
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    • Parenting Tip # 212
    • Tips on dealing with sibling rivalry:

      *Clearly spell out the boundaries and limits. No hitting. No saying ?I hate you.? No bossing each other around. And no cut-downs. Establish non-negotiable penalties for stepping over the limit.
      *Have your children memorize Romans 12:10, 17.
      *Don?t fuel your kids? competitive spirit by comparing them with each other, by playing favorites, or by constantly putting them in situations where they have to compete against each other.
      *Pray for your children. Ask God to make them best friends. *Pray that He will divinely engineer situations where they have to look out for each other, and applaud them when they do.
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    • Parenting Tip # 211
    • When dealing with sibling rivalry try to let your kids work it out on their own. Get involved only when necessary for the purpose of training and character development. If their differences are not resolved positively, then discipline both children. Inflict pain on both warring parties, perhaps with an extra chore, such as washing the same window from opposite sides?this one is guaranteed to bring a smile!
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    • Parenting Tip # 210
    • Children must come to an understanding that their words impact others?for good and for evil. Train your child to ask himself whether his words honor or dishonor God. He needs to know that he is accountable for every word that slips from his lips, including cursing, slang words that are not wholesome, gossiping or criticizing people behind their backs, and cutting others down.
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    • Parenting Tip # 208
    • Don?t feel rushed about granting driving privileges. Driving is not a constitutional right that every parent must grant on the very day a child is eligible for a learner?s permit or driver?s license. Some children are ready early; others are not. Insist on driver?s education through some type of formal instruction, and impose meaningful restrictions, such as speed limits, limiting him to specific routes and destinations, and enforcing a curfew.
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    • Parenting Tip # 207
    • Watch your child carefully to make sure he is meeting his top priorities, and help him make adjustments if necessary. For instance, midweek youth group meetings and discipleship groups can be very important to the spiritual growth of our children. If your teen is too busy with other activities, then it may be time to review all that the child is doing and trim some of the fat from his schedule so he can go to church.
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    • Parenting Tip # 205
    • Every child?s weekly schedule needs balance. Determine ahead of time how often you will let your child spend the night with a friend. How many days may he go home with someone after school? How many nights during the week may he attend school or church activities? How often may he work? Help your child understand that no one does it all. If you don?t have some kind of boundary, then home can become little more than a pit stop for fuel (food), new tires (money), and water (a peck on the cheek or a pat on the back by Mom or Dad).
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    • Parenting Tip # 204
    • As your child grows older, teach him to make sound, wise decisions in planning so that his schedule is balanced and not overloaded. Knowing the mechanics of time management and how to keep a schedule is helpful, but what?s more important is knowing how to operate from a biblical mind-set, how to form important personal values, how to evaluate the cost involved with any choice, and how to analyze options and make a good decision. This may be the best inoculation to prevent chronic busyness.
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    • Parenting Tip # 203
    • Did you know that you can teach compelling life lessons through your child?s activities? For instance, you can teach the importance of commitment and loyalty. When your child signs up for an activity, do not allow him to drop out unless he is encountering a serious difficulty, such as an abusive coach or a health-threatening situation. Use the opportunity to show him how he needs to follow through on the commitment made to others.
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    • Parenting Tip # 201
    • Consider making the Sabbath a day of rest for your family. Some ideas might be to make sure your children get their homework done by Saturday night, and avoiding shopping or doing chores on Sunday. If the children want to listen to music, insist that it be Christian music, and limit phone calls and visits to family only. During the Sabbath try to enjoy naps, reading, recreation, and relationship building as a family.
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    • Parenting Tip # 200
    • In a fast-paced, busy world, help your child learn the value of quiet and rest. Encourage?insist?that your child spend time regularly just being still. This means not watching television or doing computer games, but reading, listening to soft music, or pursuing calm hobbies. This environment is also necessary for teaching your child how to have a daily time of prayer and Scripture reading.
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    • Parenting Tip # 199
    • It?s easy for parents to let the family become consumed by busyness. Activities and accomplishment become the basis for significance. To keep life properly focused, you should schedule times that ensure attention to priorities. For example, make sure that the entire family eats breakfast (or dinner) together each day, or schedule a special family night each week. Make it non-negotiable.
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    • Parenting Tip # 198
    • If you suspect that your child is involved in substance use or abuse, sit down and find out what?s going on, then administer appropriate consequences. If the drinking or drug use persists, consider drawing up a contract clarifying the behavior you expect from him and what boundaries apply. If all else fails, consider calling on others to help with an intervention, perhaps asking another adult such as your youth pastor to help you confront your child?s substance abuse, or consider seeking the help of a support group or rehabilitation program.
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    • Parenting Tip # 195
    • Parents need to examine their own lives and behavior to make sure that they are not doing anything that would cause their children to stumble. For that reason, many parents refuse to drink alcohol, smoke or use drugs, knowing the probability that their children will imitate their behavior. Make sure by what you teach and how you live that your children understand that happiness and deep satisfaction come only from one Source?God (Psalm 16:11 and 43:4).
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    • Parenting Tip # 192
    • From now until your teen leaves home and moves on to adulthood, you will slowly relinquish control, and the child will increasingly not be at home. In the interest of keeping tabs on how your child is handling new challenges, consider recruiting a network of parents, teachers, youth workers, coaches, employers, and other observers who will feel comfortable in sharing information with you occasionally. If they see your child doing something or going somewhere that they know you would not approve of, they should feel free to call and tell you.
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    • Parenting Tip # 190
    • Teach your child about truth in two ways:

      1. Teach him about Jesus Christ. Jesus said, ?I am the truth.? You expose your child to the truth as you teach about Jesus Christ?s life, His mission, and His teachings. As your child understands what a straight line looks like, he?ll be able to spot the deceitful line.
      2. Teach him the Scripture. Diligently teach the truth of God?s Word through Scripture-memory programs, family Bible study, and Bible verse reminders of what it looks like to obey God when life and truth collide.
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    • Parenting Tip # 189
    • Shaping your child?s convictions about deceit begins as you teach him to fear God (Proverbs 14:27). Teach your child to fear God by teaching him who He really is. He is truth. Love. Holy. Sovereign. Omnipotent. Omnipresent. And more. As our children see us practicing the presence of God in our lives, they too will grow in the understanding that God sees all and that He is to be feared.
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    • Parenting Tip # 187
    • To keep children from building a pattern of deceit in their lives, parents need to model a life of integrity. Watch for the subtle deceptions we adults are so prone to?giving phony reasons for not taking phone calls, failing to keep promises to our children, offering excuses to get out of commitments, and so on. Instead, show your children by your own example how important it is to walk in truth.
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    • Parenting Tip # 186
    • Two of the more disturbing and potentially dangerous behaviors found among teenagers are the binging-purging pattern of bulimia or the starvation pattern of anorexia nervosa. If you feel your child is obsessed with dieting and is looking overly thin, talk to your pediatrician immediately. A team approach that includes a nutritionist, a pediatrician, and a psychologist is particularly beneficial in helping teens to overcome these serious diseases.
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    • Parenting Tip # 185
    • When you are in a standoff with your child about a particular issue, consider asking yourself the following four questions:

      1. Have I prayed about this issue and asked God for wisdom in how to handle it?
      2. Are we in agreement as a couple? God will often use your spouse to balance you in an area where you might be extreme.
      3. Is the issue a clear matter of right and wrong, or is it a preference? If the issue is something in which your child is clearly wrong, then you know what you need to do. But if it?s in the gray area, go slow before drawing your sword.
      4. Is the issue really worth its cost? Try not to make marginal issues too large.
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    • Parenting Tip # 184
    • As a parent you must prayerfully decide which fads (ear piercing, body piercing, makeup, clothing styles, hair styles) are truly sinful, and which are just choices your child can make on his own. If you disagree with your child about a particular fad, listen carefully to him. Love him enough to say no. Hold your ground, because most teens don?t really know what?s best for themselves. It?s good to remember that these turbulent disagreements will pass and that your child most likely won?t remember that they even occurred.
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    • Parenting Tip # 181
    • Parents? outward appearances are a statement of their character and values as men or women. Parents, especially mothers, need to be careful. Children are watching what we wear, how we act, and how we present our body. Evaluate your outward appearance by asking yourself, ?Does my clothing and outward appearance adequately reflect my relationship with Christ? Am I setting a good example of Christian character for my children? Am I cultivating my inner person so that my children will see what?s really important in my life??
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    • Parenting Tip # 179
    • As you teach your child how to properly handle anger, you must help them to embrace two critical principles:

      *Every person is made in the image of God, and you must not tear at or rip away the image of God in another person?even if it?s just Mom, Dad, sister, or brother. Anger is to be taken care of quickly and efficiently before it deteriorates into bitterness, revenge, or even violence.
      *A fruit of the Spirit is self-control. Since self-control acts like a 10-foot-high hedge to contain anger, we need to encourage the growth of this godly fruit in our children.
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    • Parenting Tip # 178
    • Anger should be treated like the red light in your car, telling you that something is wrong?a problem with the oil, brakes, transmission, or power steering. With anger, it could be unmet expectations, hurt, disappointment, and so on. And just as we would pull over to determine what is wrong with the car, we need to train our children to pull off to the side and clearly ascertain the problem and address the core issue, avoiding a possible disaster and further damage.
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    • Parenting Tip # 173
    • Parents need to work at modeling appropriate expressions of anger for their children:

      *Don?t act or speak unless your emotions are under control (being ?quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger,? as James 1:19 directs us).
      *Direct anger at the specific cause rather than spraying anger at your spouse or other people.
      *Seek resolution and reconciliation, not payback.
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    • Parenting Tip # 172
    • One of the most important areas in which a teenager needs training is in how to handle anger. Anger is normal and occurs in every human being. The problem is not the anger itself, but managing it. Teach your child to recognize anger when it comes, understand the cause, express it appropriately, and resolve it properly. Inappropriate expressions of anger include physically harming another, using words that threaten to bring emotional damage to another, or showing disrespect to a parent or other elder.
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    • Parenting Tip # 171
    • You can play some great Decide in Advance games related to media to test your child?s convictions. Try asking your child some of these questions:

      1. You are watching television at a neighbor?s house when a bad video or cable show comes on. Your friend says his parents don?t mind. What would you do?
      2. You are watching one of your favorite TV shows at home when the story becomes dirty. What would you do?
      3. You are at a friend?s room listening to music. The radio is tuned to a popular music station and a song about sex comes on. What would you do?
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    • Parenting Tip # 169
    • Be on your guard about what books and magazines you allow your child to read. Many books (even those schools include as curriculum) may contain questionable content. Children need to be steered away from those books and publications that can stir up romantic or sexual emotions, pornography, books that are overly violent, or that promote drinking, drugs, cheating, bad attitudes, stealing, witchcraft, and so on.
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    • Parenting Tip # 168
    • Did you know that music can affect and influence your child?s emotions and moods, and can play a significant role in romantic relationships with the opposite sex? Help your child choose his CDs, music videos, and radio stations wisely. Evaluate together the lyrics of his favorite songs, and songs played on secular radio. Ask him what the lyrics are teaching him. Discourage him from listening to any radio stations or CDs that do not measure up to Philippians 4:8.
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    • Parenting Tip # 166
    • When trying to find a wholesome movie at the theater for your family, resist the urge to see the newest movie within a week of its release. This way, you have time to collect reviews, seek out other information on the movie?s content, and carefully listen to what others you respect have to say about the movie. Check out the following great resources for help in evaluating the suitability of movies: Screen It! Entertainment Reviews for Parents, http://www.screenit.com and Movie Guide. Ted Baehr has years of experience in evaluating movie content from a Christian perspective. Write him at 3554 Strait Street, Atlanta, GA 30340.
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    • Parenting Tip # 164
    • Try going on a television fast as a family. Pull the plug, and don?t watch TV for a week or a month?whatever you decide as a family. Instead, spend time playing family games, talking and building family relationships, reading and so on. You may find that the benefits to your family are so great, you may not feel the need to ever plug the TV in again!
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    • Parenting Tip # 163
    • Where television is concerned, parents have to be incredibly involved in determining what their children will be allowed to watch and in what quantity. Consider the following:

      *Not allowing television viewing by children without prior approval by a parent
      *Limiting television viewing to no more than 30-60 minutes per day or a certain number of hours per week
      *Videotaping favorite shows. Then you can choose the ideal time for viewing, and save time by skipping over commercials.
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    • Parenting Tip # 161
    • Although everyone has personal tastes in media, parents need to take responsibility for setting and maintaining media boundaries that are for the good of the entire family. The apostle Paul gives us a great media filter: ?Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things? (Philippians 4:8).
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    • Parenting Tip # 159
    • When your child has a bad attitude or other problems as he edges into adolescence, try the following discipline technique:

      Affirm your love. -- A child about to be corrected must be reminded that the parent?s actions have the right motivations.
      Speak the truth. -- Be clear in your communication. Explain what has happened, why it is wrong, and make sure the child understands clearly the offense.
      Call for admission of guilt and repentance. -- The child needs to acknowledge wrongdoing and appropriately express regret.
      Assess a consequence. -- Examples of consequences for this age group may be withholding of privileges, grounding, and so on.
      Reaffirm commitment and love. -- Always end a discussion like this with a final reminder: ?I love you; I want the best for you. I?m in your corner.?
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    • Parenting Tip # 158
    • As parents we must model humility by being teachable, admitting mistakes, and asking for forgiveness. One of the best admissions you?ll ever make to your child is, ?I was wrong; I?m sorry; will you forgive me?? When our children see that we are truly humble, it is a lot easier for their hearts to be receptive and shaped by convictions that we share with them.
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    • Parenting Tip # 156
    • Play the Decide in Advance game with your teen. As your child enters the preteen and teen years, start rehearsing different situations he may face later. For instance, what should a girl say to a boy who wants to park with her late at night? What should a boy do if a girl starts making moves on him? What should your daughter do if her date refuses to let her go unless she gives in to him? The best time to make these types of decisions is long before they might occur.
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    • Parenting Tip # 154
    • Help your child avoid compromising situations with the opposite sex. Train your teen to keep his distance from situations that could tempt him to make wrong choices. Set guidelines for your teen to follow, such as not allowing him to entertain someone of the opposite sex in his bedroom, not allowing him to entertain while you are not at home, and so on.
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    • Parenting Tip # 153
    • Specific boundaries need to be established for acceptable kinds of dates for teens. Even group dates can go awry if the group makes a poor choice on its plans. The best policy is to maintain your right to approve any type of date while your teen is living at home. And be careful about making assumptions about Christian activities. Check it out first.
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    • Parenting Tip # 152
    • Teens need to be taught that the ultimate purpose of dating or courting is to find someone to marry. That?s why it?s so important that teens wait to date. They also need to be very choosy about who they spend their time with in light of that definition. Help your older teens to write down the qualities they want to look for in the person they marry. What values really matter? That list can then become the criteria by which all potential dates are measured.
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    • Parenting Tip # 149
    • There are great benefits to interviewing our daughter?s dates. First, if your daughter knows in advance what you will be asking and is prepared for what it will be like, she will usually feel honored, protected, and loved. Second, because the interview takes place well before the date, dad can evaluate the young man?s character in advance, giving you time to intervene when necessary.
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    • Parenting Tip # 148
    • When a teen makes a wrong choice resulting in sin, whether it be drugs, alcohol, sexual sin, cheating, rebellion, or some other sin, he needs his parents to become God?s arms of love to him, just as God loves us no matter what we do. He still disciplines us, and there is still a consequence for sin, but there is ample grace. Grace that accepts, cleanses, and motivates to do what is right.
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    • Parenting Tip # 146
    • The goal of sex education and instruction with children is not just protecting their virginity, but helping them protect their purity and innocence. Set your sights high and challenge your children to the highest standard, God?s standard. Challenge them in their personal convictions, the movies and videos they watch, the music they listen to, and the friends they choose, and be sure to model purity in your own life.

      **Don?t be afraid to talk to your preteen about sex. You are the protector of his innocence, guardian of his purity, and gatekeeper of his soul. Don?t be afraid of what he?ll think. Go toward your child empowered by God, courageously representing His perspective. God will give you the ability to do this.
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    • Parenting Tip # 145
    • When you broach the subject of sex with your child, press through your fears, inhibitions, memories, and embarrassment. A few minutes of blushing, stammering, and clammy hands will deepen your relationship and could literally save your child?s life.

      **Children need to learn a godly perspective about sex primarily from their parents. Engage in healthy, age-appropriate discussions about sex with your child to help him develop his own godly convictions and to set standards and boundaries for his life.

      **Sex education is another one of those ongoing training opportunities for shaping your child?s attitudes toward life. In addition to the biological facts of sex, be sure to finish the process with moral training. Your discussions should begin with three critical topics: What the Bible says about sex, why God forbids sex outside of marriage, and how to set standards to maintain purity.
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    • Parenting Tip # 141
    • When your child makes a mistake and succumbs to peer pressure, talk through the situation and gently help the child articulate in his own words what went wrong. Role-play the situation to help the child understand how a better choice could have been made. Although discipline may be required, balance it with forgiveness and encouragement. Being a young person is very challenging. He needs to know that you are on his side.
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    • Parenting Tip # 139
    • Help your child decide how he will handle peer pressure in advance. Talk out or role play different situations with your child, for example you can say to your child, ?You are at a friend?s home. No one else is in the house. Your friend produces a pack of cigarettes and asks you to join him for a smoke. What would you do?? Do the same for possible situations involving other issues?alcohol, drugs, pornography, cheating, stealing, going to forbidden movies, sexual temptation, and so on.
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    • Parenting Tip # 136
    • Realize that maintaining control of those who influence your children is within the boundaries of authority granted by God to you as a parent (Colossians 3:20). Help your children to make wise choices of friends. Help them know how to determine the bad apples from the good apples, and make it more difficult for them to get together with those who look like bad apples.
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    • Parenting Tip # 133
    • During your child?s teen years, you may feel like you are losing ground. You may be working hard, pouring truth and your heart into your child, and yet one foolish choice follows another. The temptation is to feel that you have failed and to toss in the towel. Hang in there! Never, never give up! Perseverance is the parenting quality that helps you keep doing all the other important things?the praying, training, staying involved, and setting standards.
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    • Parenting Tip # 130
    • Be involved in your child?s life. Hint: Involvement is more than driving the carpool and never missing a dance recital. Involvement means crawling inside your child?s head and heart to develop a relationship on the soul to soul, heart to heart level. Spend time doing things together that the child enjoys, have date nights with your child, and just hang out talking.
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    • Parenting Tip # 128
    • Pray regularly with your child. Hint: Two of the best times to pray with your child are on the way to school (assuming you drive him) and at bedtime?regardless of age. Pray with him for his future mate, relationships, activities, challenges, temptations and a heart for God. Don?t assume that even a teenager is too big for you to kneel beside his bed and stroke his face and pray.
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    • Parenting Tip # 126
    • A parent with recharged batteries can lead a more purposeful family. Try to schedule two or three getaways a year. Two nights away from the children will not only give you time to remember why you married one another, but can become a spiritual oasis ? a time of renewal and refreshment with one another and God. Single parents need this kind of break, too.
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    • Parenting Tip # 125
    • Make sure your children know that your marriage relationship is a priority. Establish a regular weekly date night with your spouse that your children will acknowledge and respect as your time alone.
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    • Parenting Tip # 124
    • Engaging in meaningful conversations with your child may be a challenge during the teenage years, but it?s more important at this time than ever.
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    • Parenting Tip # 123
    • It?s not words alone that communicate love to your children ? it?s talking with them in a way that shows deep interest and a strong desire to be involved in their lives.
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    • Parenting Tip # 121
    • Write down at least three things that you know will show your love to each of your children? then make them all happen as soon as possible.
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    • Parenting Tip # 120
    • Arrange your schedule so that you can spend an hour or more of uninterrupted time with each of your children during the next week. And when you?re together, take note of the wonderful look of joy you?ll discover in your child?s face.
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    • Parenting Tip # 119
    • Teenagers need parents who will love them and speak the truth to them. They know you care for them, when you are there for them.
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    • Parenting Tip # 118
    • Children often ?see God? when they look at their parents. When we model qualities of our Father in Heaven by allowing the love of Jesus Christ to flow through us and into our children, we?re succeeding as parents.
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    • Parenting Tip # 117
    • Make dating your child a regular practice. It?s a great way to have fun with them, catch up on how they?re doing, and to stay connected.
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    • Parenting Tip # 115
    • Enjoy time together as a family. Spending a few hours in God?s creation (hiking, fishing, playing at a park) can be a wonderful way of keeping relationships fresh in a busy family.
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    • Parenting Tip # 114
    • Worship is key in family life. Be sure to attend church as a family, and continue to worship in your heart at home after the service.
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    • Parenting Tip # 113
    • If your children are old enough, talk with them about the evil that surrounds us (media pollution, pornography, hyper-materialism, sinful temptations, negative peer pressure, violence and so on), and teach them how they can face evil with confidence by putting on the ?armor of God? (Ephesians 6:10-18). Begin by teaching them to pray.
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    • Parenting Tip # 112
    • Attend a family camp or conference. These special events can help to ?grow? your family and challenge your children to become true followers of Christ. (For information, visit www.studentventure.org or call 1- 800-699-4678.)
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    • Parenting Tip # 111
    • Create a missionary experience for your children in your own hometown. You can volunteer to serve a meal in a downtown church soup kitchen, or offer to clean up the yard of an elderly woman in your neighborhood, for instance.
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    • Parenting Tip # 110
    • Go on a short-term mission trip with your older children. (Check with your local church for mission trip opportunities.) It?s a great way to teach them how to look at the world through the eyes of Jesus Christ and to refine their values.
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    • Parenting Tip # 109
    • Choose a night in the next two weeks when you and your mate can sit down and create a priority list of values that you would like to instill in the lives of your children. Hint: For fun, and if feasible plan a weekend get-away to do this and to pray together for your children.
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    • Parenting Tip # 105

    • Watch for opportunities to teach and apply Scripture in everyday circumstances. Sibling rivalry, for instance, offers a chance to teach what the Bible says about forgiveness.

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    • Parenting Tip # 104
    • Display Scripture in your house (literally write out Scripture passages and hang them throughout the house. This idea originates in the challenge issued to parents in Deuteronomy to always keep the words of truth everywhere ? ?on the doorposts of your house and on your gates? (Deuteronomy 6:6-9). Hint: You can tape a special Bible verse for each child on the mirror of his bathroom, use Scripture screen savers on your computer, or buy Scripture posters for instance. Be creative!
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    • Parenting Tip # 102
    • Watch and discuss Christian videos as a family. This form of entertainment is not only wholesome it will stimulate questions about the Bible and spiritual topics.
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    • Parenting Tip # 100
    • Memorize Scripture as a family on a regular basis. It?s a great way to help your children ?treasure God?s Word in their hearts? (Psalm 109:11).
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    • Parenting Tip # 98
    • Make a list of spiritual lessons you want to teach your children. Determine what kind of relationship with God you are seeking for them, what you expect them to know about God?s Word and the Christian life, and what values you want them to treasure.
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    • Parenting Tip # 97
    • If you want a spiritually healthy family, you must make sure that each member consumes a healthy diet of the everlasting Word of God.
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    • Parenting Tip # 96
    • There are many ways to show your family that you are serious about following in the footsteps of Jesus Christ, but two in particular really count: Admitting your mistakes and asking for forgiveness when you mess up in a relationship?especially with one of your children.
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    • Parenting Tip # 95
    • Ask your child: What do you feel is the purpose for being involved in sports? In your opinion, how can kids benefit from competing in sports or other activities like cheerleading or drill team? How can they make the best of their experience?
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    • Parenting Tip # 94
    • Ask your child: When you start working a part-time job, how will you deal with conflicts with your boss or other employees when they arise? How will you deal with scheduling conflicts when you have an important engagement for school, church, or family on a day when you are scheduled to work?
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    • Parenting Tip # 91
    • Ask your child: Do you think it is good for teenagers to work part-time? Why or why not? How do you think you would handle the responsibilities of working while going to school? (If your child already works ask: How are you handling the responsibilities that come along with your job? What can you do to be a better employee?)
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    • Parenting Tip # 90
    • Ask your child: What is your favorite television program, movie or video? What kinds of things do you see? What is it teaching you about life? Relationships? Sex? How to handle conflicts or problems? Based on your answers, would you say that these entertainment choices are good or poor? Why?
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    • Parenting Tip # 89
    • Ask your child: What is your favorite song? What is the singer teaching by his words? What is the main message of this song? What is it teaching you about life? Relationships? Sex? How to handle conflicts or problems? Based on your answers, would you say that this choice of music is a good or poor choice? Why?
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    • Parenting Tip # 88
    • Ask your child: Why is it important to make wise entertainment choices? Think about your favorite songs, movies and television programs. Are they wise entertainment choices? Why or why not? What can you do to make better choices?
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    • Parenting Tip # 87
    • Ask your child: In what ways would you say that music or movies about sex, drugs, and ?doing whatever makes you feel good? could influence or affect you? What choices might those kinds of songs or movies encourage a person to make?
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    • Parenting Tip # 86
    • Ask your child: How do you think curfews and limits can help kids as they grow up? Do your friends have curfews and limits? How do they feel about them? How do you feel about curfews and limits?
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    • Parenting Tip # 85
    • Ask your child: Have you ever been pressured by your peers (no need to mention any names) to try drinking or drugs? Describe how you handled the situation. How did your choice affect you? If you have not yet been pressured to drink or use drugs, what will you say or do when the situation arises?
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    • Parenting Tip # 84
    • Ask your child: What would you do if you were with someone who had been drinking and they were supposed to drive you home?
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    • Parenting Tip # 83
    • Ask your child: What would you do if you were at a party and some of your friends started drinking alcohol or using drugs?
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    • Parenting Tip # 82
    • Ask your child: Do you choose your clothes to fit in with your peers, or do you have your own style to represent what you are all about? How does the way you dress affect your reputation? Do you feel you need to make any changes in your appearance? Why or why not?
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    • Parenting Tip # 81
    • Ask your child: What message do you think a person?s outward appearance sends to others? Give some examples of how some of the kids at school have affected their reputations by the way they dress.
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    • Parenting Tip # 80
    • Ask your child: Do you think most young people consider the consequences of premarital sex before getting involved sexually? If they did, do you think they might choose to wait until marriage? Why, or why not?
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    • Parenting Tip # 78
    • Ask your child: What would you say are some reasons why many of today?s young people choose not to wait until marriage to have sex?
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    • Parenting Tip # 77
    • Ask your child: How far do you think a teenager should go with the opposite sex prior to marriage? How far do you plan to go with a member of the opposite sex before marriage?
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    • Parenting Tip # 74
    • Ask your child: Do you think it is necessary to have a boyfriend (or girlfriend) while in your pre-teen or teen years? Why, or why not?
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    • Parenting Tip # 68
    • Ask your child: Can you remember a time when you were afraid to take a stand when you were being pressured to do something you knew was wrong? What were you afraid of? Share your experience.
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    • Parenting Tip # 67
    • Ask your child: What are some reasons why Christian teens might be afraid to stand up for what is right when faced with negative peer pressure?
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    • Parenting Tip # 65
    • Ask your child: Have you ever taken a stand for what is right when pressured to do wrong? How did taking a stand for what is right make you feel? What were the results?
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    • Parenting Tip # 63
    • Ask your child: What would you do if you found that a friend was influencing you in negative ways? Why do you think a ?friend? would try to get you to do something that they know is wrong?
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    • Parenting Tip # 62
    • Ask your child: What are some of the benefits of having friends who influence you in positive ways? What are some of the consequences of having a friend who influences you in negative ways?
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    • Parenting Tip # 57
    • Think of an outreach project that you can do with your child, for instance you can collect canned goods together to donate to a local church or charitable organization to feed the hungry, or you can collect blankets, or mittens, or hats and scarves.
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    • Parenting Tip # 56
    • Volunteer with your child to work in a soup kitchen to feed the hungry, or some other outreach to the poor.
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    • Parenting Tip # 55
    • Think of a fun project you can do together, for instance you can start a garden, build a tree house, build a model car, or do a craft project.
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    • Parenting Tip # 54
    • *Plan a weekend get-away to challenge your pre-teen or teenage child to a commitment to purity using ?Passport to Purity? as curriculum. Visit http://www.familylife.com/passport for more information.
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    • Parenting Tip # 53
    • Set aside one day a month or every other month (something the child can look forward to on a routine basis) to take your child out on a date to a movie, dinner, miniature golf, bowling, or some other enjoyable activity.
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    • Parenting Tip # 52
    • Make special memories with your child. Plan and have family vacations, visit museums, parks, have picnics, get out old pictures and go down memory lane together, and so on.
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    • Parenting Tip # 51
    • Include a special treat in your child?s lunch box with an ?I love you? note attached.
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    • Parenting Tip # 50
    • Take your child to a toy, music, or bookstore and encourage him to pick out something for himself. You may want to set a spending limit like $10 or $15 dollars.
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    • Parenting Tip # 49
    • Make a library date with your child once or twice a month, and encourage him to check out books that he would enjoy. You might even check out one you could read and enjoy together.
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    • Parenting Tip # 48
    • Make up a coupon book with coupons that your child can redeem at any time. Examples: one free hug, an ice cream, a trip to a movie, help in cleaning up his room, and so on. Choose things your child likes and enjoys.
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    • Parenting Tip # 47
    • On your child?s birthday, send him a thank you card, for being born into your life and family.
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    • Parenting Tip # 46
    • Once a week for a month, send your child a special greeting card through the mail to let him know how much you love and appreciate him.
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    • Parenting Tip # 45
    • Acknowledge your child?s accomplishments (big or small) with a special gift and/or greeting card).
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    • Parenting Tip # 44
    • Write 5 things you appreciate about your child on 5 cards (1 per card), and leave them in various places where he will find them.
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    • Parenting Tip # 43
    • One weekend, bless your child by doing his chores for him. Tell him it was your way of expressing your appreciation for him as a valuable member of the family team.
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    • Parenting Tip # 42
    • Write a poem for your child or take Psalm 139 and rewrite portions, referring to how God created him as special and unique, planning each of his days before he was even born.
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    • Parenting Tip # 41
    • Using Psalm 123:1, write a thank you note to your child for being such a special gift to your life.
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    • Parenting Tip # 40
    • Set aside a special day this month to spend time participating with your child doing his favorite activity (bowling, skating, miniature golfing, basketball, or artwork, etc.)
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    • Parenting Tip # 39
    • Compliment your child on a job well done when properly completing a household chore, yard work, or school assignment.
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    • Parenting Tip # 38
    • Bring your child a refreshing drink while he?s doing chores or yard work.
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    • Parenting Tip # 37
    • Help your child evaluate his music and entertainment choices, by listening and watching with him, then discussing why or why not they are good choices.
      Hint: Ask the questions: 1) Would Jesus watch this movie? (or listen to this song?) Why or why not?
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    • Parenting Tip # 36
    • Fix your child?s favorite snacks and relax with him by listening to some of his favorite music.
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    • Parenting Tip # 35
    • Offer to help your child with a project. Let him do most of the work, while you lend a hand, showing genuine interest in what he?s doing.
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    • Parenting Tip # 34
    • Talk about how special he is in front of others. (Be sensitive not to embarrass him.)
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    • Parenting Tip # 33
    • Think of some ways your child has blessed your life. Go to him and tell him, then give him a loving embrace.
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    • Parenting Tip # 32
    • Order pizza, rent your child?s favorite movie and watch it together.
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    • Parenting Tip # 31
    • Insert a meaningful poem, quote, or note of love in your child?s lunch box.
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    • Parenting Tip # 30
    • Plan a ?Guest of Honor? dinner to honor your child ?just because,? one evening. Dress up, get out your best china, and eat by candlelight.
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    • Parenting Tip # 29
    • Leave a message on the answering machine for your child to let him know you?re thinking about him.
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    • Parenting Tip # 28
    • Write ?I love you? or ?Welcome Home? on a big sign on the door or on the front lawn to greet your child coming home from school.
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    • Parenting Tip # 27
    • Help your children discover that there is no greater good than serving God by reaching out to people with the love of Christ. Teach your child how to serve God by example. Serve in your local church, and volunteer when you can in the local soup kitchen or other areas in your community where you can help people in need. Involve your child when appropriate.
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    • Parenting Tip # 26
    • Raise your children with the awareness that they have a God-ordained mission in life. Help your child to determine his God-given gifts, talents, and abilities, and talk with him about his passions to help guide him toward discovering that mission.
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    • Parenting Tip # 25
    • Teaching your children to resolve conflict involves teaching them to:
      Listen?truly hear what the other person is saying (James 1:19).
      Speak the truth in love?share their huts in a way that does not threaten or accuse another person (Ephesians 4:15).
      Forgive?understand that forgiving means giving up the right to punish those who hurt or offend them (Ephesians 4:32).
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    • Parenting Tip # 24
    • Your influence plays a large role in your children?s capacity to love others and to develop meaningful relationships. Strive to be a good example of God?s love as you relate to and interact with others.
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    • Parenting Tip # 23
    • Try to determine punishment ahead of offenses, and make an effort to make the punishment fit the crime. Be sure to evaluate what form of punishment is appropriate for the age of your child.
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    • Parenting Tip # 22
    • Children will behave like children?you can count on it. You will need to train your child in some areas over and over again. Above all, don?t give up!
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    • Parenting Tip # 21
    • As parents, we must be committed to a balanced training program for our children?rewarding good behavior and choices, and reproving wrong choices. Hint: You might reward your child with a ?congratulations card? or something he enjoys having or doing when he makes right choices. You might want to take away privileges when he makes a wrong choice.
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    • Parenting Tip # 20
    • Allow adequate time in your life to make special memories with your children and to build God-honoring character into their lives. Plan and do a fun activity with your child at least twice, or more a month. Hint: Go for ice cream, to a movie, to the library, museum, or the skating rink together.
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    • Parenting Tip # 19
    • Make sure that your children are not so busy (with activities and commitments) that they do not have adequate time to play, rest, and just be with their families. This week, sit down and look over your child?s schedule of activities. Determine whether you and your child need to make any adjustments.
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    • Parenting Tip # 18
    • Share with your child a way in which you have recently exercised faith and put your trust in God. This will help them to put their trust in God.
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    • Parenting Tip # 17
    • Tell your children about the mightiness of God. It is important for children to remember when they feel helpless and fearful. Share some examples with your children about how God protected you or helped you in a tough situation.
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    • Parenting Tip # 16
    • It is important for your children to hear you tell about the ?praiseworthy deeds of the Lord? in your life. Try to share a praise report with your child at least once a week. Example: You can share with your children how God protected you and your family through the week.
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    • Parenting Tip # 14
    • Children need to learn from your example and teaching what it means to walk with God. Strive to be a daily example to your child in word and deed what it means to be a Christian.
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    • Parenting Tip # 12
    • One of the best places in the Bible to observe the role of a parent is the book of Proverbs. Set aside 15 minutes for the next 31 days to read one Proverb each day.
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    • Parenting Tip # 11
    • Rules without relationship can lead to rebellion in a child. A relationship without rules can lead to permissiveness and lack of discipline. Make sure that as you work to establish rules and guidelines for your child, that you are also working to build a strong relationship by talking with him, spending time with him, and by encouraging and supporting him.
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    • Parenting Tip # 10
    • Adolescents need parental guidance more than ever as they face pressure from peers and difficult choices. Set aside a regular weekly time when you can get together with your adolescent to talk, share, and listen.
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    • Parenting Tip # 8
    • One of your children?s greatest needs is your praise and approval?it is a basic building block of how children will view themselves and the world. Think of one way that you can praise your child every day. Hint: You can say, ?You are so special to me,? or ?I?m so glad God gave me you!? Or you can give praise for an accomplishment, even for the small things, such as keeping his room clean, or making his bed neatly.
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    • Parenting Tip # 7
    • Have you hugged your child today? Affection with words and touch are important tools in communicating unconditional love to your children.
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    • Parenting Tip # 6
    • A positive relationship with your children is grounded in their knowledge that you love them unconditionally. Make a commitment to express love for your child everyday in word and in deed, even when they make mistakes.
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    • Parenting Tip # 5
    • Building a relationship with your children requires a commitment to being vitally involved in teaching, training, and guiding them. Plan a regular meeting time with your child to do a regular Bible study or devotions on topics relevant to his season in life. Be sure to take advantage of those everyday opportunities that may come your way to help him grow in biblical character.
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    • Parenting Tip # 4
    • Our success as parents hinges on having a positive relationship with our children. Write down some things that you can do to build a stronger relationship with your child. This week begin putting those words in action.
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    • Parenting Tip # 2
    • One of the greatest things you can do to ensure success in parenting is to pray. Ask God to give you the wisdom you need in teaching, guiding, and training your children as you pray for them each day.
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    • Parenting Tip # 1
    • A first step in effective parenting is to “begin with the end in mind”—by developing a vision for what you want your children to become. Make a list of character qualities that you would like to see developed in your child.
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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 23

    • Rule:There is an old adage that incorrectly says sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. Words can and often do hurt.

      Reason:We have a way of remembering the unkind remarks made to hurt us.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 22

    • Rule:Good mouth manners exclude unkind comments, gossip, and mocking others.

      Reason:It hurts to have someone say unkind things about you, tell your private business, or make fun of you.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 21

    • Rule:Correcting another?s grammar or remarks should be done privately and tactfully, if at all.

      Reason:Sometimes corrections must be given to prevent an unfortunate situation.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 20

    • Rule:Good mouth manners should include good clean humor.

      Reason:Good humor takes some of the edge out of an otherwise dreary day, if it is not at someone?s expense.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 19

    • Rule:A child who hears only correction gets a negative picture of himself and feels discouraged.

      Reason:Offering praise inspires our children to be respectful, to cooperate, and to take responsibility.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 18

    • Rule:Flattery can be a form of bad mouth manners. Parents should avoid flattering their child.

      Reason:Flattery is often an unearned compliment and is perceived as false praise.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 17

    • Rule:Parents should practice good mouth manners by praising and recognizing the achievements of their children.

      Reason:Genuine and deserved praise will reinforce positive, constructive behavior.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 16

    • Rule:It is impolite, if not hurtful, to make fun of the way someone speaks, such as with a different accent.

      Reason:We learn our speech patterns from listening to our family from birth, and pronunciation once learned is difficult to change.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 15

    • Rule:Thou shalt not misuse the name of the Lord your God. (NIV Bible) Swearing is misusing the Lord?s name or names such as God, Jesus, and Christ.

      Reason:Swearing breaks the third of the Ten Commandments.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 14

    • Rule:Unless there is a fire or someone is dying, it is almost never appropriate to yell out.

      Reason:Yelling startles people, making them uncomfortable unnecessarily.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 13

    • Rule:Contradicting someone?s explanation is rude.

      Reason:The speaker has the right to express an opinion. Contradicting can be the same as calling someone a liar, though that is seldom the intention of the one making the contradiction.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 12

    • Rule:Children should learn that there are times when interruptions are necessary.

      Reason:When a child takes an important phone call for you, it may be necessary for him or her to interrupt your chat with the neighbor.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 11

    • Rule:Interrupting others is rude. It means asking questions or making remarks while another is speaking.

      Reason:Someone has said that interrupting is like knocking someone off the path.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 10

    • Rule:Children should be taught not to tell a lie.

      Reason:Telling one lie usually begets another lie.

      Application:Always be truthful with your child by using tact and telling only what is necessary for them to know.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 9

    • Rule:Children should be taught not to hurt others? feelings with their words and actions.

      Reason:Scripture tells us in the Golden Rule to treat others as we want to be treated.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 8

    • Rule:Telling the truth is a virtue all children should be taught. Learning the difference between lying, telling the truth, and using tact is very important.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 7

    • Rule:A compliment should be accepted graciously.

      Reason:Saying, ?Oh, this old thing? makes the giver of the compliment look foolish.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 6

    • Rule:It is proper in the South to respond with ?Yes, ma?am? and ?No, sir.? In other parts of the country, parents teach their children to say, ?Yes? and ?No? when responding to a question.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 5

    • Rule:It is proper to say excuse me and pardon me every time you think you might be offending or inconveniencing someone.

      Reason:Saying excuse me or pardon me usually creates good will and eases tempers.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 4

    • Rule:The best expression of regret is ?I?m sorry,? not ?It?s not my fault, or I didn?t mean to do it.?

      Reason:Saying I?m sorry means taking responsibility for our actions and shows genuine concern.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 3

    • Rule:Children and adults should say please and thank you.

      Reason:Words such as please and thank you are like a boomerang. When we use them they usually come back to us.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 2

    • Rule:Children should be taught to greet and respond to friends and acquaintances of their parents. Erma Bombeck said, ?A grunt is never acceptable. Hello is nice.

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    • Mouth Manners Rule # 1

    • Rule:Parents should use a friendly tone to teach good mouth manners to their children.

      Reason:Showing anger and impatience after an infraction of the rules often creates a negative experience which becomes counterproductive.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 40

    • Rule:Perfume and cologne should whisper and not shout.

      Reason:Some people are allergic to perfume and cologne.

      Application:Ask a family member or close friend if the aroma of your toiletries is too strong.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 39

    • Rule:The proper way to stand is with arms free and relaxed at your side.

      Reason:If you cross your arms across your chest, tucking your hands under your arms, you look cold, mad, or indifferent.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 38

    • Rule:To make a first impression, keep your hands visible.

      Reason:When our hands are hidden, we may appear sneaky or insecure.

      Application:Try to keep your hands out of your pockets unless you must retrieve something.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 37

    • Rule:Children should be taught to tidy up after themselves when they perform their grooming duties.

      Reason:Their future spouse will thank you, the parent, for teaching them.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 36

    • Rule:Grooming should not be done in public. Grooming usually involves combs, makeup, toothpicks, nail clippers, etc.

      Reason:Grooming is a personal chore done privately - one that no one wants to watch others perform.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 35

    • Rule:?Cleanliness is next to godliness? is not a quote from the Bible, but perhaps, it could be.

      Reason:Cleanliness may not be in your child?s vocabulary, and he or she has not read the Bible yet.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 34

    • Rule:Children deserve to be taught how to make good decisions about their grooming and appearance.

      Reason:A child?s psyche is tender; his spirit may be easily wounded.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 33

    • Rule:Proper attire should be worn, but a young child should make some choices in his or her wardrobe.

      Reason:Clothing makes a statement about the person wearing it and shows respect or disrespect for others.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 32

    • Rule:By about the age of five, a child should be able to understand that what he wears makes a difference.

      Reason:Some children seem to be born knowing how to achieve good taste in their clothes and overall appearance.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 31

    • Rule:Shoes should always be clean and in good repair.

      Reason:People look at your shoes when you are not looking. Scuffed, rundown footwear makes you look careless and/or inattentive to detail.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 30

    • Rule:When standing or walking, your chin should be kept level with the floor.

      Reason:With your chin level with the floor, you will more readily look people in the eye.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 29

    • Rule:To make a positive impression with appropriate bearing, stand erect with your chin level with the floor and your shoulders up.

      Reason:The way we feel about ourselves is revealed in the way we stand.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 28

    • Rule:To make a good impression, we should walk confidently while looking straight ahead as if we have a destination.

      Reason:Taking baby steps and looking at the ground as we walk, makes us look introverted, insecure, or timid.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 27

    • Rule:To make a good first impression, we must observe some other rules besides the six s?s, such as those concerning the way we walk, stand, and appear in our clothes.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 26

    • Rule:The way you teach the six s?s to your child is very important.

      Reason:Children are born with different personalities. Some are outgoing and friendly from their infancy.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 25

    • Rule:A shy child may smile, nod, and try very hard to look the new person in the eye when he or she meets someone.

      Reason:It may be too uncomfortable for a very shy, reserved child to shake hands and talk to a stranger.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 24

    • Rule:Children should be introduced and taught to use an adult?s last name in addressing him or her.

      Reason:Using an adult?s last name shows respect.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 23

    • Rule:People are expected to give us their name when we meet them, but if they do not, we may ask them for their name.

      Reason:Sometimes other people do not know the six s?s, or they are shy and do not realize they are failing to give you their name, or perhaps, they think you already know it.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 22

    • Rule:The sixth ?s? is say the person?s name back to him or her. The person you are meeting deserves to hear his or her name repeated. Repeat the name as you say, ?Hello, Mary Ann (or Mrs.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 21

    • Rule:The fifth ?s? is speak your name. Introduce yourself after you stand, smile, see their eyes, and shake their hand. If the two of you have never met and there is no one to introduce you to the new acquaintance.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 20

    • Rule:It is not mandatory to shake hands if you have a crippled hand or simply do not wish to shake hands. Your hands should be kept behind you or out of sight.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 19

    • Rule:It is important to shake hands, even if you have a problem with wet or sweaty palms.

      Reason:It is always awkward when people extend their hand and we don?t respond in kind.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 18

    • Rule:It is proper to shake hands when meeting someone for the first time, at chance meetings, and for all farewells.

      Reason:It is a warm and proper expression of sentiment.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 17

    • Rule:Females shake hands properly when they extend their right hand in a vertical position with the thumb pointing upward and the little finger pointing downward.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 16

    • Rule:In business, the handshake is the only appropriate greeting.

      Reason:The National Institute of Business Management says that hugging and back slapping are not acceptable in corporate America.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 15

    • Rule:To show special affection or gratitude, you may place your left hand on the top of the handshake, therefore using both hands for the handshake.

      Reason:Sometimes we want to do a little more than simply shake hands.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 14

    • Rule:When one of the two individuals shaking hands has a crippled or arthritic right hand, the left hand may be offered.

      Reason:Usually, the individual with an impaired right hand wishes to make the same hand gesture when meeting someone.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 13

    • Rule:In business, men and women shake hands the same.

      Reason:Long ago, a handshake was all that was needed to seal a business deal.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 12

    • Rule:The handshake should last only a few seconds.

      Reason:A few gentle pumps up and down, with either person releasing the clasp first, is all that is necessary.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 11

    • Rule:Formerly, a man was taught to allow the lady to extend her hand before he extended his for a handshake, in social situations.

      Reason:When handshakes first came into practice in the pioneer days of our country?s history, women did not shake hands at all.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 10

    • Rule:Males and females shake hands the same way - firm, but not crushing. Women shake hands with women and with men, as men do.

      Reason:No one likes a limp, fishlike clasp of the hands.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 9

    • Rule:The fourth ?s? is shake the other person?s hand.

      Reason:In our country the customary greeting is to extend the right hand, clasping the other person?s hand and shaking it.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 8

    • Rule:In performing the third ?s?, try to look into other people?s eyes. If you cannot, then look from their eyes to their mouth and back to their eyes.

      Reason:Because of our temperament or personality, some of us are shy or reserved and find it difficult to look directly at people.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 7

    • Rule:The third ?s? is see their eyes. When you are speaking to or listening to people, always look into their eyes.

      Reason:It has been said that the eyes are the window of the soul.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 6

    • Rule:The second ?s? is smile. When meeting someone for the first time and any time thereafter, give them a smile.

      Reason:A smile is the same in any language.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 5

    • Rule:Men should stand when a lady gets up from a dining table and when she returns.

      Reason:A man can help the lady pull out her chair and reseat herself.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 4

    • Rule:Children should stand for older people. Men should stand when a lady or ladies enter a room.

      Reason:To show respect.

      Application:Children imitate their parents.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 3

    • Rule:The first ?s? is stand. When you are meeting someone for the first time and any time thereafter, stand if they are standing. (Exception: Sometimes it is not practical or even possible to stand.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 2

    • Rule:Use the six s?s to make a good first impression. The Six s?s are stand, smile, see their eyes, shake hands, speak your name, and say the name of the person you are meeting back to him or her.

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    • Meeting and Greeting Rule # 1

    • Rule:There is no second chance to make a first impression.

      Reason:People usually form their opinion in the first thirty seconds of seeing us by judging our appearance, our visual communication, and our speech.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 20

    • Rule:Guests should always ask permission before using someone?s fax machine.

      Reason:Some fax transmissions incur long distance charges.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 19

    • Rule:When sending a fax, you may call ahead to alert the recipient that you are sending a fax to him or her.

      Reason:It is better use of your time and the recipient?s time for someone on the other end of the line to be looking for your document.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 18

    • Rule:A fax (facsimile) should not be a substitute for the mail.

      Reason:Sometimes, personal notes written by hand are more appropriate.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 17

    • Rule:Include the following with every fax (facsimile document) you send: a cover sheet with the date, the name of the sender, the sender?s fax number and telephone number, the name and fax number of the recipient, the page count (including the cover sheet), and a brief message or explanation of the faxed material to come on the following pages.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 16

    • Rule:A fax is a document transmitted by a facsimile machine and should be considered public information.

      Reason:It travels over the phone lines to another fax machine that prints it out for whoever retrieves it to see.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 15

    • Rule:Some safety rules apply to all Internet users.

      Reason:These rules protect our children as well as ourselves from encountering harmful images or activity on the Internet.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 14

    • Rule:The Internet is not the appropriate venue for all communication. Some messages must be handwritten.

      Reason:Handwritten letters and notes have a personal touch to them.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 13

    • Rule:When on the Internet don?t send unsolicited mail asking for information on people whose names you happen to see on a mailing list.

      Reason:It is rude because it invades another?s domain without their permission.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 12

    • Rule:If your personal discourse on the Internet will be lengthy, include the word long in the subject header of an E-mail.

      Reason:A message of over one hundred lines is considered long.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 11

    • Rule:On the Internet you may use abbreviations for commonly-used phrases.

      Reason:IMHO stands for ?in my humble opinion.?

      Application:Learn the common abbreviations for commonly used phrases to save time.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 10

    • Rule:Do not send spam mail on the Internet. It wastes time and space.

      Reason:The term spamming describes unwanted, irrelevant messages.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 09

    • Rule:Do not use flame mail on the Internet.

      Reason:Flame mail consists of personal insults or expressions of strong opinion.

      Application:If you write something hurriedly, carelessly, and on impulse, keep your cursor off the send button until you have read and reread your message.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 08

    • Rule:Never write messages with all letters capitalized when writing E-mail.

      Reason:The reader will feel you are shouting at him or her.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 07

    • Rule:Use emoticons to communicate feelings over the Internet.

      Reason:Emoticons are combinations of symbols expressed by a few key strokes.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 06

    • Rule:Do not send rude or subtle innuendoes about defenseless victims in an E-mail.

      Reason:Privacy for an E-mail message is extremely doubtful.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 05

    • Rule:Include contact information at the end of your E-mail message if you want a response.

      Reason:Sometimes the header information is lost.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 04

    • Rule:Never send chain letters on the Internet.

      Reason:They are legally forbidden. A violation can get network privileges revoked.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 03

    • Rule:Send only E-mail messages that you would put on a postcard for anyone to see.

      Reason:Cyberspace is very public.

      Application:When using E-mail, remember you do not know for sure who will read it, and even if your message is ultimately deleted, the server may be able to retrieve it.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 02

    • Rule:New technology such as the Internet has demanded new etiquette rules to learn and observe.

      Reason:In 1922 when Emily Post wrote her first etiquette book, she never imagined computers and the Internet.

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    • Electronic Etiquette (or Netiquette) Rule # 01

    • Rule:The word netiquette is a combination of the words net and etiquette that describe the rules for using the Internet.

      Reason:The word net comes from the word Internet.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 22

    • Rule:Church teachers and workers are worthy of respect and appreciation.

      Reason:They work with and teach our children.

      Application:As a parent, show your gratitude for the time and efforts of all the teachers.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 21

    • Rule:Church attendance should be a pleasant and memorable experience for everyone, even children.

      Reason:When true worship takes place, a church will offer such experiences.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 20

    • Rule:All church goers should face the front at all times unless told to look behind them.

      Reason:It is uncomfortable to have someone turn around and stare at you.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 19

    • Rule:A Jewish funeral takes place within the shortest time possible after a death.

      Reason:The Jews believe that the soul has returned to God and that it is shameful to have the person?s body remain with the living.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 18

    • Rule:It is no longer mandated that everyone wear black to funerals.

      Reason:Some families choose to have a celebration of the life of the individual.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 17

    • Rule:When attending the ?family visitation? time before a funeral, friends should be quiet, dignified, and attentive to the family. Visitors should not have private conversations on topics unrelated to the deceased and the family.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 16

    • Rule:Parents decide when it is appropriate to take their child to a funeral.

      Reason:Some children are more impressionable and vulnerable than other children.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 15

    • Rule:To be well-mannered we must respect the beliefs and religion of others without subscribing to them.

      Reason:Each one of us wants others to respect our system of belief and practices.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 14

    • Rule:Members of almost any religious congregation should greet guests and visitors.

      Reason:Guests and prospective members feel more welcome when church members introduce themselves.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 13

    • Rule:Children are expected to be reasonably quiet in any church service.

      Reason:Church services are usually meant to be worshipful.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 12

    • Rule:Children should be encouraged to take part in the church service as much as they can, according to their age and maturity.

      Reason:Worship is intended to be for anyone who wants to participate.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 11

    • Rule:If you arrive late to church and the service has begun, do not enter during a prayer or a musical presentation.

      Reason:It is rude and disrespectful to enter during a prayer or when someone is singing.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 10

    • Rule:Participants in a church service should not go in and out, but remain in their place throughout the service, unless they go to the altar (or take out an unruly child).

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    • Church Manners Rule # 09

    • Rule:If ushers are not in sight when you reach the entry to the sanctuary of a church, it is proper for the gentleman to lead the way. If there is an usher, the lady follows the usher as her family follows with Dad in the rear.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 08

    • Rule:Children should not run or push in a church building.

      Reason:For safety and respect.

      Application:Talk to your children before you reach the church.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 07

    • Rule:Holy Communion is observed in most churches and practiced in a variety of ways.

      Reason:Each religious organization has its own rituals, sacraments, observances, and customs.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 06

    • Rule:Young children may write or draw in church, but not on the visitor cards or flyers provided for guests.

      Reason:It is wasteful and disrespectful.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 05

    • Rule:Do not chew gum or unwrap noisy candy wrappers in church.

      Reason:Other worshipers will be disturbed.

      Application:If you have young children who must have a snack, go prepared with something edible that is as noiseless as possible, breath mints for instance.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 04

    • Rule:In synagogues men and boys wear yarmulkes and females have their arms and shoulders covered.

      Reason:It is a tradition for all males in a synagogue to wear the head covering and for the women to dress very conservatively.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 03

    • Rule:Men and boys should remove their hats before entering a Christian church.

      Reason:It is a sign of respect.

      Application:Explain to your children why Dad is removing his hat or cap before entering the church building.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 02

    • Rule:If you and your children are invited to an unfamiliar church, it is proper for you to inquire about the dress, the customs, and perhaps, the rituals you may need to know.

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    • Church Manners Rule # 01

    • Rule:Always enter a church with a respectful attitude. Always be on time.

      Reason:Parishioners should show respect for other worshipers and for the dignity of the institution.

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    • Being a Gracious Host Rule # 16

    • Rule:A proper host helps the guest find his or her belongings when it is time to leave.

      Reason:A guest feels well-cared for when the host, who is more familiar with the house, helps the guest find things.

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    • Being a Gracious Host Rule # 15

    • Rule:A gracious host does not talk on the telephone to another friend for an extended time, leaving his or her guests to entertain themselves.

      Reason:Besides being a selfish act on the part of the host, the guest will feel ill-at-ease and unsure what to do if left alone.

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    • Being a Gracious Host Rule # 14

    • Rule:The well-mannered host (child) never asks his or her parents in front of the guest for permission to do something if it is likely the parents will object.

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    • Being a Gracious Host Rule # 13

    • Rule:A gracious host always lets the guest be first in any activities the two enjoy or the family enjoys together.

      Reason:The host will find satisfaction in pleasing his or her guest, just as the host enjoys going first when he visits a friend.

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    • Being a Gracious Host Rule # 12

    • Rule:A host once removed is a member of the host family, but not the inviter, and is expected to be hospitable to any guest in the house.

      Reason:Invited guests will feel very uncomfortable if they feel that a member of the family does not want them there.

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    • Being a Gracious Host Rule # 11

    • Rule:A gracious host shows enthusiasm and interest as long as his or her guest stays in the home.

      Reason:The guest will feel very ill-at-ease, if not distressed and unhappy, if the host expresses an unhappy or displeasing attitude.

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    • Being a Gracious Host Rule # 10

    • Rule:A host is responsible for entertaining and attending the needs of the guests, staying available while the friend is a guest in the home

      Reason:A host is responsible for entertaining and attending the needs of the guests, staying available while the friend is a guest in the home

      Application:As a host, don’t make plans on your own, leaving your guests to take care of themselves.

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    • Being a Gracious Host Rule # 09

    • Rule:A gracious host plans activities around the likes and preferences of his or her guests.

      Reason:It is the hospitable thing to do.

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    • Being a Gracious Host Rule # 08

    • Rule:A gracious host introduces a guest to any family members present in the house.

      Reason:Any visitor is really a guest of the family.

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    • Being a Gracious Host Rule # 07

    • Rule:A gracious host always offers guests a snack or refreshment unless it is almost time for a meal.

      Reason:Food and beverages represent warmth and comfort to us.

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    • Being a Gracious Host Rule # 06

    • Rule:When the guest arrives, a gracious host shows the friend around the house.

      Reason:The guest will feel more comfortable and more at home if he or she knows where things are.

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    • Being a Gracious Host Rule # 05

    • Rule:A gracious host offers to take a guest’s hat, coat, suitcase, and the like, letting the guest see where he or she will be able to find them when needed.

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    • Being a Gracious Host Rule # 04

    • Rule:A gracious host will always anticipate the needs of an invited guest.

      Reason:A host wants his visitor to be comfortable and to have a good time.

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    • Being a Gracious Host Rule # 03

    • Rule:A gracious host always makes preparations for the expected guest.

      Reason:Making the right preparations beforehand will make the visiting time with the invited friend more fun.

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    • Being a Gracious Host Rule # 02

    • Rule:A gracious host communicates the details of the invitation clearly, answering any questions the friend might have.

      Reason:The guest will be embarrassed if he or she does not arrive on time or does not know the length of the expected visit.

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    • Being a Gracious Host Rule # 01

    • Rule:The perfect guest always returns the invitation of his or her hosts in a similar fashion. The guest becomes the host.

      Reason:It is the polite thing to do.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 31

    • Rule:In a receiving line, introduce the person standing next to you to each person who comes through the line.

      Reason:Introducing the person next to you each time is the purpose of the receiving line.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 30

    • Rule:If you and a friend pass someone on the sidewalk, it is not necessary to stop and introduce your two friends.

      Reason:Expediency.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 29

    • Rule:An introduction of one person to five or more people should be made as a group.

      Reason:It is confusing to say and hear so many names at one time.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 28

    • Rule:It is important to practice an introduction with your child before an event.

      Reason:Practice always helps prevent embarrassment.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 27

    • Rule:Parents should look for opportunities to teach making introductions to their children.

      Reason:After the children have grown up, they will most likely thank the parents for teaching such a valuable skill.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 26

    • Rule:When your child makes a mistake in making an introduction, NEVER correct him or her in public.

      Reason:It?s cruel to embarrass a child, even our own under the guise of trying to teach a lesson.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 25

    • Rule:It is important to teach your children to make introductions, understanding that ?importance? has nothing to do with one?s character. It is simply a way to show respect.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 24

    • Rule:You should correct the pronunciation of your name when necessary

      Reason:It is embarrassing to us and to the other person when he or she says our name incorrectly.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 23

    • Rule:When you can?t remember someone?s name, you may try the following method.

      Reason:Almost anything is worth trying if it helps us remember a name.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 22

    • Rule:When someone approaches you and you can?t remember his or her name, you can try to get the name by simply reintroducing yourself.

      Reason:Even though we all forget names, it is embarrassing when we do.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 21

    • Rule:When you forget a name, it is proper to simply admit it.

      Reason:It is worse to pretend to know someone?s name or to ignore him or her than to ask for the name.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 20

    • Rule:Everyone has trouble remembering names. Repeating a name after you hear it and using it in subsequent conversation is the best insurance against forgetfulness.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 19

    • Rule:Always repeat the name of a person to whom you have introduced.

      Reason:By repeating the name we can learn if we are saying it properly.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 18

    • Rule:Always repeat the name of a person you meet.

      Reason:As individuals we like the sound of our own name.

      Application:?Hi, Carey.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 17

    • Rule:Always repeat the name of a person you have just met.

      Reason:There are many. One reason to repeat the name is to help you remember it.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 16

    • Rule:Always respond to a person-to-person introduction with a word of greeting along with the new acquaintance?s name.

      Reason:Greetings are usually friendly and non-threatening.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 15

    • Rule:When making an introduction, it is not always necessary to repeat the names like a bouncing ball

      Reason:It sounds awkward to say, ?Mrs.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 14

    • Rule:When making a person-to-person introduction, look at the person who needs the new information. You should not tell someone his or her own name by looking at him or her when you say the name.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 13

    • Rule:Introduce a junior associate to a senior executive.

      Reason:When the two individuals are within the company, we show respect to the higher ranking one.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 12

    • Rule:When introducing people always give each individual a little information about the other.

      Reason:It?s helpful to know something about the person we are meeting so we can make good conversation.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 11

    • Rule:Introduce your mom to your classmate.

      Reason:We honor those who are outside our family.

      Application:Say, ?Clay, this is my mom.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 10

    • Rule:When introducing a family member, honor the non-related individual.

      Reason:We love our family more, but just as we honor guests we show respect to them by presenting our family member?s name to them first.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 9

    • Rule:When you need to make an introduction and you do not know who should receive the most honor or respect, make the introduction anyway.

      Reason:Making the effort to introduce people is more important than all the rules.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 8

    • Rule:Always introduce a less important person in rank to a higher ranking individual (younger to older, male to female, employee to the CEO, the CEO to any customer or client).

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 7

    • Rule:The second basic rule of making introductions is to introduce a younger person to an older person.

      Reason:Again, we want to honor (show respect to) the older person.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 6

    • Rule:The basic rule of introducing people is to introduce a male to a female.

      Reason:In our society, we defer (pay respect to) the female over the male.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 5

    • Rule:To make proper introductions, you must first decide who is more important (the one we should honor).

      Reason:Why decide the most important person first? So you can present one person?s name to another and show the proper respect.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 4

    • Rule:It is important to give both the first and last names in an introduction.

      Reason:Sometimes we are not certain if we should call someone by the first name, and therefore, we need to know the last name.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 3

    • Rule:When making an introduction, if you find it impossible to remember the name of one of the friends, you should say the name of the friend you can remember.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 2

    • Rule:The most important rule of making introductions is to make the effort even if you can?t remember the names.

      Reason:To ignore trying to introduce people makes everyone feel awkward.

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    • Introducing Others Rule # 1

    • Rule:All children should learn how to introduce people, one to the other.

      Reason:Teaching your child to make introductions gives him or her confidence, new friendships, and the opportunity to make a good impression.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 33

    • Rule:Always sign your first and last name on any correspondence unless you are writing a family member or close relative.

      Reason:Your name may not be common, but you don?t want the intended recipient to ponder and wonder which Alissa or which Reed you are.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 32

    • Rule:The rule for signing greeting cards such as Christmas cards offers a choice. Whose name is listed first when the card is from the family or from a couple?

      Reason:Over the years etiquette experts have held different opinions.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 31

    • Rule:In writing a thank-you note or letter don?t mention anything negative.

      Reason:Your hosts may have gone to a lot of trouble to bake a batch of peanut brittle for you at Christmas time.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 30

    • Rule:A widow retains her husband?s first name for life.

      Reason:The husband?s name is retained to show her status of widowhood.

      Application:Even after Mr.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 29

    • Rule:A divorced woman?s title may be Ms. or Mrs. with her first and last names.

      Reason:These designations more clearly identify her marital status because her first name is used instead of her former husband?s name.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 28

    • Rule:The title Ms. is used before a woman?s name when her marital status is unknown and for any woman in business.

      Reason:Often we do not know the marital status of a woman we are writing; therefore, Ms.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 27

    • Rule:On the first line of an address on an envelope, there is only one time when it is proper to put two names on one line is Mr. and Mrs. John Evans.

      Reason:They are a married couple, not simply two people living at the same address.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 26

    • Rule:A woman is addressed as ?Miss? from birth. Upon marriage she is known as ?Mrs.? before her husband?s name (Mrs. Harry Gibbs). If a woman never marries she usually adopts the title ?Ms.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 25

    • Rule:A young man is addressed as ?Master? until he is about seven years old. From seven until eighteen, he is addressed without a title. After that, he is addressed as ?Mr.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 24

    • Rule:On any correspondence, everyone likes to have his or her name listed and spelled correctly. Names are better left unabbreviated or written with initials except for junior which can be written Jr.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 23

    • Rule:When an invitation has RSVP, you must answer with yes or no.

      Reason:The letters stand for Répondez, s?il vous plait and they mean ?Answer, please.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 22

    • Rule:No matter how formal or informal, an invitation should be acknowledged within one week of receiving it.

      Reason:The person issuing the invitation must make plans that may involve far more arrangements than the receiver knows.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 21

    • Rule:With sympathy or condolence messages, it is better to leave out expressions such as ?Time heals all wounds? or ?He is so much better off.?

      Reason:Such expressions are of little or no comfort to the grieving loved one.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 20

    • Rule:Letters of condolence or sympathy are better written on plain white or gray paper and often more appreciated than a commercially purchased card.

      Reason:It shows respect for the deceased and the loved ones remaining.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 19

    • Rule:Never begin a note or a letter with an apology.

      Reason:It sets a negative tone for the entire piece of correspondence, no matter what is said later.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 18

    • Rule:For monogrammed stationery, the man?s initials are placed straight across. A married woman?s stationery has the first letter for her given name, with the second letter for her married name, and the last letter is for her maiden name.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 17

    • Rule:When sheets of stationery are used, they are folded once and put in the envelope by placing the open edges in first.

      Reason:Such placement of the paper in the envelope makes for easier reading when the paper is pulled from the envelope.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 16

    • Rule:A note for such needs as an expression of thanks, appreciation, or sympathy should always be handwritten. Only business correspondence should be typed or computer generated.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 15

    • Rule:When addressing an envelope, use the proper title before or after the recipient?s name. Do not put two titles for one name on an envelope.

      Reason:Courtesy and good taste dictates it.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 14

    • Rule:Only positive, complimentary words should be written in a note or letter.

      Reason:Written correspondence can be kept, reread, pasted in a scrapbook, and treasured in many other ways.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 13

    • Rule:The ink used for an informal note may be the writer?s preference, but for serious writing, only black or blue ink is appropriate.

      Reason:Blue or black ink on white, off-white, or gray paper is the most distinguished choice of ink color for most adult handwriting.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 12

    • Rule:The envelope for a social note should be properly addressed to accompany the thank-you note you have written.

      Reason:Your child will no doubt be addressing envelopes throughout life.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 11

    • Rule:A fold over thank-you note has these characteristics: a greeting, an expression of thanks, mention of the gift or special favor, an appropriate closing, a signature, and the date in the bottom left hand corner.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 10

    • Rule:One of the best ways to write a thank-you note is on a fold over note with a matching envelope.

      Reason:Such notes are usually of good paper stock and provide the proper format for an informal note.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 9

    • Rule:You or your child should write a social note after receiving a special favor or a special kindness from someone.

      Reason:Your child will glow when the recipient of the note (probably an adult) praises the child for writing the note.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 8

    • Rule:Even when your child makes a phone call to thank a friend for the new-comers party given in his or her honor, a thank-you note should be written.

      Reason:A thank-you note can be read and appreciated by others.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 7

    • Rule:A bread and butter note should be written after an overnight stay in someone?s home unless you are friends who reciprocate often.

      Reason:The note we write after spending at least one night with someone has long been called a bread and butter note, referring to the meals shared over a period of time.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 6

    • Rule:When someone in the family has been sick and received gifts, cards, and food, the ailing one should write notes of appreciation as soon as he or she is feeling better.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 5

    • Rule:For writing social notes, you should provide a special place with the proper supplies handy for all members of the family to write notes and letters.

      Reason:When supplies are readily available and when a comfortable spot with a flat surface is accessible, all members of the family will be more likely to write notes.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 4

    • Rule:To teach the art of writing thank-you notes parents should see to it that their children have the proper tools for creating an appropriate note to fit the occasion.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 3

    • Rule:Generally, thank-you notes for gifts should be written within one week of receiving them.

      Reason:The giver may be anxious to learn if you received the gift and how you liked it.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 2

    • Rule:As age allows, children should be taught when to write, what to use, where to write, what to say, and how to send a thank-you note.

      Reason:These are the elements of proper correspondence.

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    • Writing Thank-You Notes Rule # 1

    • Rule:Children as young as three should be taught how to write a thank-you note.

      Reason:Teaching thoughtfulness at an early age will be a lifetime benefit to the child.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 29

    • Rule:A sleep-over guest should abide by the ?going to bed and getting up rules? of the house.

      Reason:Other people in the house may have a heavy schedule the next day and need their rest.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 28

    • Rule:When it comes time to leave, a good guest asks the friend and the parent if there is anything that needs cleaning up or putting away before he or she leaves.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 27

    • Rule:A good guest always helps clean up and put toys or games away.

      Reason:It is the polite thing to do and it also speeds up the chore so the two friends can move on to another activity.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 26

    • Rule:A guest is expected to pay his own way unless the host family insists on paying the expenses of a planned activity.

      Reason:Both guest and host will feel more comfortable if the guest clearly is prepared to pay his or her way, even if the host plans to take care of everything.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 25

    • Rule:A guest is always polite and kind to the brother and sisters of the resident child even when the resident child is quarreling with the sibling.

      Reason:Family members sometimes take liberties with one another that they would find offensive if a guest, such as being a tattletale.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 24

    • Rule:If a guest makes a mess, he or she should tell the mom and help clean up.

      Reason:The more mature you are the more you take responsibility for your actions.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 23

    • Rule:A guest does not make telephone calls without asking permission.

      Reason:The call may be charged to the host family.

      Application:If your call is long distance, use a credit card or make arrangements with your family for the call before you leave home.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 22

    • Rule:If you are an overnight, out-of-town guest, you should write a thank-you note as soon as possible after you arrive home ? even if you thanked the parents personally before leaving.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 21

    • Rule:Upon leaving, a guest should always find the parent (s) to thank them for inviting you.

      Reason:It is the polite and gracious thing to do.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 20

    • Rule:A guest should carry a list in his suitcase of everything he brought.

      Reason:The host family should not find it necessary to return items later.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 19

    • Rule:A guest may say, ?Excuse me, please? when he or she absolutely must enter a room or interrupt briefly.

      Reason:Sometimes, others may not realize they are interfering with a guest?s needs.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 18

    • Rule:A guest always respects the privacy of others.

      Reason:Remember the Golden Rule. You as a guest would not want your brother?s visiting friend sneaking around spying on you at your house.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 17

    • Rule:A guest may be expected to use his or her bath towel more than once.

      Reason:When drying off we do not soil a towel.

      Application:If you are unsure about getting a fresh towel and you are not offered one, you may ask the resident child what is expected.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 16

    • Rule:A guest should always make his or her bed daily, or at least make the attempt, even if the resident child does not straighten his or her sleeping place.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 15

    • Rule:A guest must wait his or her turn to talk.

      Reason:Interrupting others is very rude and unpleasant.

      Application:If the adults are having a conversation and the resident children are not taking part, as a guest you must not try to enter the conversation.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 14

    • Rule:A guest should pick up his or her dirty clothes and keep them with his or her other things.

      Reason:: No one wants to pick up after a guest, and no one wants to stumble over someone else?s mess.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 13

    • Rule:A guest should always be neat and keep his or her things together.

      Reason:A guest wants to be remembered for neatness and helpfulness more than for careless disregard.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 12

    • Rule:A guest should treat the possessions of the family with respect and care.

      Reason:A guest should be grateful enough for the invitation that he or she makes every effort to safeguard the family possessions.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 11

    • Rule:At meals, a guest should taste everything without commenting about the taste unless the food is good.

      Reason:The parent hosts have probably gone to a lot of trouble preparing the meal.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 10

    • Rule:A guest may ask for a snack if it is not too close to dinner or if the resident child has not already asked and been refused.

      Reason:The parent hosts would not want a guest to be uncomfortable.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 9

    • Rule:A guest should be agreeable (if possible) to the activities planned by the host or the host?s family.

      Reason:If the special needs of a guest were communicated before the visit, the family will not likely plan unreasonable activities.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 8

    • Rule:The guest must obey the rules of the house even if the resident child does not.

      Reason:It is the respectful and appreciative thing to do.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 7

    • Rule:Upon arrival a guest should say hello to the friend?s parents and any other family members present.

      Reason:Any visitor is a guest of the entire family, not just the friend of the child who extended the invited.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 6

    • Rule:If you are a guest and have allergies or phobias, you may discreetly tell the hostess or have the two moms discuss it.

      Reason:The host family will not want you to suffer in silence nor get upset because they did not know you could not swim or that you were afraid of heights.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 5

    • Rule:Any overnight guest should take a small, inexpensive gift to the hostess unless the two friends exchange overnight invitations on a regular basis ? such as a school chum.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 4

    • Rule:A guest should always be prepared to participate in whatever activities your host has planned.

      Reason:When a guest is agreeable and cooperative, everyone has more fun.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 3

    • Rule:For a sleepover, a guest should take toilet articles and any other personal items he or she might need.

      Reason:So that it will not be necessary to borrow from the hosts.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 2

    • Rule:To be a welcome guest, a child must know what is expected of him or her by the hosts.

      Reason:Making a list will call to mind things to do and not to do that you and your children might not otherwise remember.

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    • The Perfect Guest Rule # 1

    • Rule:For a child to be an oft?-invited guest whether for a brief visit or an overnight stay, he or she must be well-mannered.

      Reason:When a child can exercise a certain amount of self-control, he or she will be more agreeable, more courteous, and more fun to have around.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 34

    • Rule:It is important to speak clearly on the telephone.

      Reason:The person on the other end cannot see our face to read our lips.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 33

    • Rule:Families should have a central place to leave messages.

      Reason:All messages are important to the intended recipient.

      Application:Choose a place in the house, perhaps, the kitchen where everyone passes when they arrive home.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 32

    • Rule:When taking a message over the phone for someone, you should write down the information accurately and place it in a prominent place.

      Reason:Messages that sometimes seem trivial to one member of the family may be very important to another.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 31

    • Rule:When children are nine or ten, they are usually able to call a place of business for information.

      Reason:They can write information down as they receive it over the phone.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 30

    • Rule:When children are about five or six they can usually answer the telephone and take a message.

      Reason:Their cognitive skills have usually developed enough to repeat the words of the caller.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 29

    • Rule:In case of emergency when your cell phone must be ?on,? put it on vibrate, sit near the entrance to your row of seats, and sit near an exit in order to make a hasty departure when your phone rings or reverberates.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 28

    • Rule:Use discretion when using your cell phone. Make ?private? conversations brief when you are in the presence of others.

      Reason:A cell phone can be a life-saving invention, but it can also be an annoyance.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 27

    • Rule:If you expect a telephone call you must take, tell the person when you make a call or receive one.

      Reason:By telling the other person ahead of time, you alert them to a possible interruption.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 26

    • Rule:With call-waiting, if you get a call that is urgent, go back to the first caller long enough to explain that you must take the second call and that you will call the first caller back as soon as you can.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 25

    • Rule:With call waiting, you should tell the second caller that you are on the other line with someone. Ask if you may call him or her back when you finish the first call.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 24

    • Rule:When you are on the phone and you hear the call-waiting beep, ask the present caller if he or she can hold for you to answer the other ring. Wait for an answer.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 23

    • Rule:Good telephone etiquette requires that when you answer call-waiting, you should remember the first caller should be given priority.

      Reason:The old adage: First come, first served unless the second caller has an emergency.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 22

    • Rule:Always ask a telephone caller to please wait for you to get the person being called or to get the information needed.

      Reason:We should respect another?s time.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 21

    • Rule:When you are talking to someone on the phone, don?t put someone on ?hold? for more than 20 seconds without getting back to them to see if they want to continue holding.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 20

    • Rule:Don?t be rude when responding to unwanted phone calls.

      Reason:The way parents talk on the phone will be imitated by their children.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 19

    • Rule:Teach your children that when they are leaving a message, to always give their name, their telephone number, and a brief message.

      Reason:If callers do not speak clearly and leave the necessary information, the one hearing the message may be unable to reply.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 18

    • Rule:Teach your children how to properly leave a message on a telephone answering machine.

      Reason:Good or bad habits are formed very early.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 17

    • Rule:Use discretion when recording your outgoing message on your telephone answering device. An example of a bad message was reported in the October 8, 1997, Arkansas Democrat Gazette: ?Hi, I?m probably here.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 16

    • Rule:The outgoing message from your phone should never be unnecessarily long, ?cute,? or musical.

      Reason:What may be ?cute? to the owner of the phone, can be very annoying to a caller.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 15

    • Rule:A good, outgoing message to leave on your telephone answering service, whether you have call notes, a voice mailbox, or a machine is ?You have reached 000-0000.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 14

    • Rule:Telephone message machines and call notes can be wonderful conveniences, but there are rules to be followed. For your outgoing message to callers, speak slowly and clearly.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 13

    • Rule:When you answer the phone and the caller wants to speak to someone else, don?t yell out the person?s name, telling him or her to come to the phone.

      Reason:Your shout is magnified on the phone, nearly deafening the caller.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 12

    • Rule:Don?t tell a lie on the phone by saying, ?He can?t come to the phone because he is in the shower? when the person being called simply does not want to talk to the caller.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 11

    • Rule:If you answer the phone and the caller asks for a member of your household who is not at home, it is not necessary to tell the caller that you are home alone.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 10

    • Rule:Don?t talk on the phone while carrying on a conversation with someone in the room.

      Reason:It is annoying and confusing to the person on the phone.

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    • Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette Rule # 9

    • Rule:Don?t talk on the phone while eating or drinking.

      Reason:Sounds are magnified over the telephone.

      Application:If someone calls you while you are eating, ask if you may call them back.