Feasts of Thanksgiving didn't begin in America with presidential proclamations. They didn't begin with the grateful Pilgrims in Plymouth. Neither did they originate with the Native Americans' harvest celebrations. The true source of feasting as a celebration of gratitude is God Himself.
In the Old Testament, God initiated a number of yearly feasts for His people the Israelites. These were not optional events, but were written into the Law that God gave to Moses on Mt. Sinai. God knew better than His children the importance of setting aside time to reflect on His abundant provision for them. When we focus on God's goodness and His character, we are not only grateful, but we are motivated to believe Him for more. Our faith grows as we remember His past intervention in our lives.
The first feast God instituted was the Feast of Unleavened Bread, which commemorated the Israelites' deliverance from bondage in Egypt. It was a time to remember the miraculous way God had set them free and then led them out of Egypt and into the Promised Land.
Guess who's coming to Thanksgiving dinner? No one!
This Thanksgiving will be the first time in many years that my husband and I will sit down to dinner without any of our four children. It will be somewhat strange not to hear their banter about all the old family stories . . . the playful sibling shenanigans when they were left alone, all the meals served with more nutritional value without the grease and piles of salt, the endless wrestling matches, or the stories about the successful antics during church youth retreats. I remember their bursts of laughter at these stories! It will be our loss, but I rejoice realizing they will spend Thanksgiving with their own family and friends. Their dinner table will no doubt overflow with laughter and fun stories, old and new. Yet, I am conflicted about this void.
I did not handle holidays so well. As a young mother I thought there must have been some unwritten law/rule/doctrine that said married couples must divide Thanksgiving and Christmas between both families, switching every year. I thought of it as a "Fairness Doctrine." But fairness became irrelevant once we reached the empty nest stage of life.
I have concluded that there should be amendments to this fairness doctrine. I suggest two helpful words—release and rejoice!
Lately I’ve been overwhelmed with clutter. My desk is a mess. My closets are a mess. My laundry room and . . . You get it. I just can’t seem to get “on top of things.”
And I feel guilty. When I had kids at home I had an excuse. I was busy with them. Or I was watching them while doing something else. Multitasking gave a greater sense of accomplishment. Back then I also had daughters who would rave over a closet I’d finally cleaned out. But they are gone.
Now I have a hard time getting the same satisfaction out of de-cluttering. It’s doing one thing at a time and I really don’t like doing it. I’d rather do something creative or spend time with people. I always thought I’d get organized when I hit the empty nest but it hasn’t happened. I keep finding other things to do to avoid dealing with the clutter.
As I’ve thought about this I’ve seen some spiritual parallels in my life. I think God wants me to clean out some areas that I’ve been avoiding. Like my tongue for example. I want to be more careful about what I say and when I say it, especially to my husband. I don’t have to hit him with my “to-do list" for him when he first comes in the door. And how I ask him to do things could be done with much more grace.
I’m in a small group study at our church with about fifteen women. Our ages range from early thirties to nearly seventy. Some are exhausted mothers of young children; others are navigating the turbulent teen years, while several of us are empty nesters. Recently we were discussing how we handle times when we can’t see God at work in our own life or our child’s life, or our husband’s life, or . . . At the moment we can’t see answers to prayers for a struggling child, a path to a new job for our husband, or a deep personal healing we or someone else might need. So where do we go in times when God seems silent?
I have learned in these times that my faith cannot rest on what I see Christ doing or not doing but instead on His character. I have learned that when things are hard or confusing that once again I have to fall back on what I know to be true. God is good. He is still in control. He has a plan. He is not caught off guard. He is light and in Him there is no darkness at all. And He is far more creative than I am. He is working while I’m waiting. He is doing things I cannot see.
And no, it’s not because of Monday night football, although I am the real fanatical football fan in our family. I love every aspect of the game. But that’s not what makes every other Monday night one of my favorite nights. It is the five young women who come to my home for dinner. All of the girls are in their 30s. Their husbands are on the staff of our church where my husband is the senior pastor. Each of them has several toddlers, and when Monday night rolls around they stagger into my house and collapse. It’s not unusual for one to arrive in tears defeated by a strong-willed three year old, or wounded by a hurtful conversation with a husband, or simply depleted by consecutive nights of sleep deprivation.
Over dinner together we take turns sharing with these questions in mind: What is happening that is really affecting my internal world? What things are capturing my thoughts and prayers? Do I have a sense of something God might be saying to me? What verse in scripture has spoken to me recently? We also try to address one question unique to ministry wives. And we pray for each other’s needs.
I love these girls because they are real. There is no pretense. There’s a freedom simply to be in whatever mood any of us is in (whether it is PMS––theirs––or hot flashes––mine!), and yet to be loved and challenged or comforted as needed. I love their hearts for God. Each one truly wants to grow in Him. They keep me sharp. They encourage me. They push me. They ask me tough questions. And they make me laugh.
It’s my favorite time of year again. The leaves have changed and are at their peak. There is a sugar maple tree on the south side of our house that is glorious in its expanse of pure yellow. I like to sit under it and just soak in the color. I don’t do it enough, but every year I make myself sit in its splendor at least once for even just ten minutes. Fall is welcoming. It calls us home to crackling fires, warm soups and stews, and extended family time at Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving is simply a time to give thanks. But do we do that? And better yet, is the giving of thanks to be reserved for only this one time of year?
As my children were growing up, I wanted them to know the real story of Thanksgiving, the history of the Mayflower and the people who sacrificed so much to come to the new world. Mostly I wanted my kids to know about their faith; faith that inspired great courage and modeled heroic lives of gratitude and thanksgiving for generations to come.
In 1620 and 21 the Pilgrims had nothing but gratitude. Today we have everything but gratitude. Thanking God is, for a Christian, a reflection of a heart that trusts God. The Pilgrims had much to trust Him for and much about which they could have been fearful, but the overriding lesson of their lives is one of gratitude which is an expression of great faith.
An empty nester told me about a difficult experience she had with her daughter-in-law. She had traveled from a distant state to stay with her son and his wife. Her relationship with this young couple had not always been easy. But she longed for this visit to be good and she determined she’d do everything she could to help them while she was in their home. Both the son and his young wife had demanding, exhausting jobs, so by the end of the day they were understandably tired.
After dinner my friend thought she could be useful by cleaning up the dishes and putting things away. Her daughter-in-law was busy elsewhere in the house while my friend cleaned the kitchen. She was so happy at the thought of being helpful to her son’s wife. However her cheerfulness was short lived as his wife came into the kitchen and realized that everything had not been put away in exactly the right place. Instead of being grateful she exclaimed, “Please don’t ever touch my dishes again. You did not put them in the right place.” The sharpness of her tone devastated my friend and she ended up making an excuse to return home early.
This is an all too common occurrence to which most of us can relate in some way. And yet there are several things we can learn from this situation.
After nearly two years of enduring almost endless news of campaigns and election predictions, today is the day we, the voters, finally make our choice.
Since it is now November, I have been thinking again about the topic of gratitude. It happens every year as I begin thinking about and preparing for Thanksgiving. And in light of the elections today I realized afresh how remarkable it is that we as Americans really can choose our leaders on the federal, state and local level. We are so accustomed to this notion that we forget that ours is the first nation that has been governed this way. For thousands of years the people of this planet have been ruled by kings and queens, dictators and tyrants, tribal chiefs and military leaders. Most of those who ruled were born into that responsibility or they took that position by force. And in many cases they were not benevolent.
Wayne Grudem, in his Biblical Ethics class, (www.christianessentialssbc.com) stated that democracy is a form of government that is more in line with Scripture than other forms that have existed previously. Our system is designed to serve the people and is for our good. (See Romans 13:4) It has an inherent balance of power and built-in restrictions against any one leader becoming a monarch. And the bedrock of our system is our belief in personal liberty.
November 20
