Session 2: To Have and To Hold: Lessons Learned about Communication and Resolving Conflict

7 Lessons about Conflict and Communication

1. We need to accept the reality that we are flawed.
   • Love is not perfection. Love is acceptance.
   • We are sinners and we bring our sin nature into marriage.
2. Silence does not solve issues or resolve conflicts.
   • Be willing to listen and not quick to dismiss what is being said.
   • Don’t walk away or emotionally disconnect.
   • Calmly express your feelings and thoughts.
3. Wisely choose what offends you.
   • Ask yourself: Is this a deal-maker for our marriage?
   • Get some perspective from a godly friend.
   • Choose your battles.
   • Choose lasting love and have a grace attitude.
4. Trust and transparency causes us to address issues with a sense of confidence.
   • Be clear and honest when you communicate.
   • Don’t be accusatory in the way you talk.
   • Listen and embrace change.
5. Not every issue is of equal weight.
   • However, what may not be a big deal to you could be a big deal to your spouse.
6. Forgiveness is the pathway to resolution.
   • A commitment to be married is a commitment to forgive.
   • Forgiveness is an act and an attitude.
   • Forgiveness releases grace and washes away defensiveness.
7. Take clear, direct, specific action.
   • Don’t let anger control you, but let the anger drive you to action.
   • Denial and procrastination is a sure pathway to resentment and indifference.
   • Commitment to be married means commitment to change.