• Shannon Ethridge, Every Woman’s Battle, p. 157
    “Marital secrets serve no purpose but to alienate you from the only one who can provide the level of intimacy you truly desire as a sexual being. If you keep secrets from each other, you may build a wall between you and ultimate sexual and emotional fulfillment.”
  • Shannon Ethridge, Every Woman’s Battle, p. 157
    “Marital secrets serve no purpose but to alienate you from the only one who can provide the level of intimacy you truly desire as a sexual being. If you keep secrets from each other, you may build a wall between you and ultimate sexual and emotional fulfillment.”
  • Jim Talley, Reconcilable Differences, p. 50
    “In order to keep your car running smoothly, you must have a routine of preventative maintenance. In order to keep your marriage running smoothly, you must follow a similar policy. … You cannot allow your relationship to run its natural course, or it will suffer from the neglect ... Separation is the normal direction of marriage, so your efforts are to thwart that drift and keep your relationship on the … course leading to togetherness.”
  • Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage, p. 237
    “While our hearts will find their rest only when God is part of the equation, it is a stunning scriptural fact that soon after creating Adam and Eve God declared, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone’ (Genesis 2:18)—even though God delighted in his relationship with the man. Clearly God created us with a need to enjoy other relationships besides Himself exclusively, but God must be at the center of our hearts, to which all our other relationships are then added.”
  • Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage, p. 164
    “Compromise can be a way of saying, ‘I love you.’ It’s proof that we’re willing to give ground for no other reason than that we value the ongoing relationship more than we do asserting our rights, preferences, or wishes. Compromise is the cement of fellowship.”
  • Gary and Barbara Rosberg, Six Secrets to a Lasting Love: Recapturing Your Dream Marriage, p. 23
    "God’s primary solution to human aloneness is the oneness, companionship, and togetherness of having a spouse.  When husbands and wives distance themselves from each other, they are fighting against God’s plan for their marriage and missing out on the blessing of oneness that God designed for them."
  • Fred and Brenda Stoeker, Every Heart Restored, p. 221
    “Compatibility is not necessary for oneness—sacrifice is—and that’s something every man and wife has to learn.”
  • Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage, p. 76
    “Much of Christian teaching has gotten it exactly backwards.  We’re told that if we want to have a stronger marriage, we should improve our prayer lives.  But Peter tells us that we should improve our marriages so that we can improve our prayer lives.”
  • Dennis Rainey, Preparing for Marriage, p. 8
    "No other human relationship can approach the potential for intimacy and oneness than can be found within the context of the marriage commitment. And yet no other relationship can bring with it as many adjustments, difficulties, and even hurts."
  • Dennis Rainey, Preparing for Marriage, p. 72
    “Marriage is far more than a cultural institution or an arrangement for a man and woman to meet their needs for companionship … There is more at stake in your marriage than just two people trying to meet one another’s needs. God’s reputation—His image—is at stake in your marriage.”
  • Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect, p. 279
    “Whatever I do for my spouse, I do it to Christ as well. A husband’s unconditional love for his wife reveals his love for Christ. The husband who loves God should love his wife also … A wife’s unconditional respect for her husband reveals her reverence for Christ. The wife who respects God should respect her husband.”
  • Chip Ingram, Love Sex, and Lasting Relationships, p. 57
    “Love is a sacrificial, other-centered action that provides what’s best for the other person. God’s way is very hard on the feelings, but it’s very healthy for the soul. It works wonders in relationships where both parties find their ultimate identity in Christ.”
  • Dave Harvey, When Sinners Say I Do, p. 32
    “God is completely, totally, enthusiastically supportive of your every effort to build a strong, God-glorifying marriage.”
  • Dan Allender and Tremper Longman, Intimate Allies, p. 113
    “Life is war, and marriage provides us with a close and intimate ally with whom we may wage this war. The battle requires bold love, forgiveness, confrontation, and repentance.”
  • Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Rekindling the Romance, p. 53
    “We learned that sacrifice is the language of romance, and selfishness is the language of isolation and rejection. Commitment inspires one to sacrifice, and sacrifice makes commitment a rare jewel to be cherished.”
  • Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Rekindling the Romance, p. 43
    “In marriage, God wants to take us on a lifelong journey to become what we were meant to be, to experience Him more and more, to understand a hint of the relationship and unity God knows Himself within the Trinity. This intimacy is a mystery, but it makes marriage a heavenly journey and not merely a biological coupling.”
  • Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Pressure Proof Your Marriage, p. 65
    “Twice a year, we highly recommend getting away for at least an overnight stay—without the kids. … This could be as simple as checking into a hotel across town, or a trip to another city. These getaways are especially important when you are faced with certain decisions ... Furthermore, when both spouses share in the decisions that increase and decrease pressure, they take ownership of the direction of their marriage, which can minimize tension.”
  • Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Pressure Proof Your Marriage, p. 25
    "If you are going to run the race of life and not become a casualty, then you must learn three critical elements: First, to run together; second, to run at the same pace; and third, to run in the same direction."
  • Great job reaching out for help in building oneness in your marriage.  That is huge!
  • Read any of the helpful Scriptures listed in this guide and let's discuss.
  • Read one of the helpful articles listed in this guide and let's discuss.
  • Remember that you are not alone in needing help.  We all need to invest more time and energy into our marriages.
  • Remember that oneness comes from thinking together, not from thinking alike—unity, not unanimity.
  • Realize that differences can actually foster oneness instead of coming between you.  It's all in how you approach those differences--trying to change one another or to accept and balance one another.
  • Please realize that God will often use your spouse to make you more like Jesus Christ.
  • Remember that God not only has a plan for oneness in your marriage, but He provides the power to make it happen.
  • Consider attending a FamilyLife Weekend to Remember® marriage getaway.
  • Pray every day together, even if it’s just for a moment or two.
  • Remember that oneness reflects God’s character and the Trinity (John 17:22).
  • Refuse to even consider divorce as an option.
  • Watch out for argument triggers (James 1:19).  Become a student of when/where those happen, make a list of them, and be ready for them.
  • Consider a short TV fast, maybe even 48 hours, to re-establish meaningful connection with your spouse (Ephesians 5:16).
  • Remember that information alone does not lead to life change … lasting life change begins as you apply what you learn.
  • Get involved in a local, bible-believing church for spiritual growth and accountability.
  • Make a “wish list” of 3 things you desire in your relationship with your spouse. Take turns sharing your “I wish” statements with your partner and describe how you would feel if your wish came true.
  • Think of something (hobby, sport, recreational activity) you would like to pursue together.
  • Talk about one of your favorite dates.  What was it about that date that made it so memorable? Is this something you could do again?