Knowing that you are a mirror for your mate, what does he/she see? Do you know how he/she would answer that question? Are you willing to ask?
Have you found that early on in your relationship you built each other up, but over time you've grown apathetic or even critical toward one another?
Are you able to talk about how you really feel with your spouse? What do those conversations look and feel like?
What gets in the way of building each other up in your marriage?
Do you know what a healthy, biblically-balanced self-image looks like? Would it be helpful to explore that topic together so you have a better handle on it?
Does your spouse have a healthy self-image? If not, tell me a little about that? What does that look like in his/her behavior?
When you face disappointment in your spouse or marriage, how do you express that?
What would your kids say about the way you treat one another?
What was your model for marriage growing up? Did your parents build each other up or tear one another down?
By God’s grace, what would you like to change about the way you relate to your spouse?
I believe the most important relationship in your life is with Jesus Christ. Can you tell me what that means to you personally?
What is one small step you can take today to begin building up your spouse?
How can I be an encouragement to you today?
How would your marriage be different if both of you chose to focus on what is good and right rather than what is bad and wrong? (Philippians 4:8; Ephesians 4:29-32)
How can you help your spouse realize who he or she is in Christ?
Do you love your spouse in a way that casts out fear of rejection? (1 John 4:18)
Are there things in the past that you are holding over your spouse’s head now? Is it safe for your spouse to admit a mistake?
What can you do to help make your marriage a safe place to admit failure? Would you say that your home is a place of high emotional control? Are you aware of how destructive that is to a marriage?
Is there any area where you need to seek forgiveness in the way you have treated your spouse?
How would you describe the tone of your relationship? Negative and critical? Apathetic?
What is one step you can take in the right direction and how can I help you do that?
