“I don’t want my words to make a spouse feel ‘caught’ in sin, because I don’t want to create a temptation to be more concerned with fixing a problem than encountering God. Confrontation is not a ‘gotcha’ event. I want my spouse to encounter the Holy Spirit, sent to convict the world of sin (John 16:8), and thus to experience the cleansing and faith‐inspiring work of godly sorrow over sin.”