• Beatrice Fishback, Loving Your Military Man, p.44
    “Honor and respect go hand-in-hand in demonstrating that we support our husbands.  Honoring them shows we support what they do and who they want to become.  A woman who honors her husband totally accepts who he is, created by God, for her.”
  • Linda Montgomery, Danger—Infatuation! www.excellentorpraiseworthy.org
    “Love is a beautiful thing, but it is something you give and share on an intimate level only with your spouse.  Flirtation may seem fun at the time, and harmless…but beware!  Satan would love to fuel those feelings into a fire of emotions which could end up burning down your home!”
  • Penny Monetti, Called to Serve. Encouragement, Support, and Inspiration for Military Families, Part I
    “Trusting God offered no guarantee that my husband would come home safely or that life would return to ‘normal,’ but I learned that I didn’t walk alone.  God cared about my daily challenges.”
  • Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect, p. 222
    “I often hear many wives complain that their husbands are too disconnected and passive on family matters. But why is he passive? Quite likely in the past, every time he tried to step up to the plate, she had a better idea. After a while, he just let her have her way.”
  • Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Staying Close, p. 241
    “Forgiveness is costly, but to refuse to forgive costs even more. As someone said, ‘The longer you carry a grudge, the heavier it gets.’ And, I might add, the lonelier it gets.”
  • Emerson Eggerichs, Motivating Your Man God’s Way, p. 30
    “Most wives have little idea the depth of painful feelings men have when disrespected. Men don’t display a crushed countenance and begin to cry. Instead, they get angry, go silent and withdraw. Or they attack with words of disrespect, seeking to equalize things. This goes over the heads of most wives. Instead, these women feel even more unloved.”
  • Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Staying Close, p. 5
    “Isolation is like a terminal virus that invades your marriage, silently, slowly, and painlessly at first. By the time you become aware of its insidious effects, it can be too late. Your marriage can be crippled by boredom and apathy, and even die from emotional malnutrition and neglect.”
  • Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage, p. 96
    “Behind virtually every case of marital dissatisfaction lies unrepented sin. Couples don’t fall out of love so much as they fall out of repentance.”
  • Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Two Hearts Praying as One, p. 43
    “Because Satan understands the power unleashed when two become one and join forces to call upon God, he will strategize to keep you from praying together.  He wants to divide you, isolate you from one another, and have you thinking unkind thoughts about your spouse.”
  • Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Rekindling the Romance, p. 53
    “We learned that sacrifice is the language of romance, and selfishness is the language of isolation and rejection. Commitment inspires one to sacrifice, and sacrifice makes commitment a rare jewel to be cherished.”
  • You are to be commended for recognizing your loneliness and isolation and for seeking help.
  • Pray and ask the Lord to guide you through these difficult times.  Ask the Lord to free you of any resentment and bitterness you may be harboring.
  • Share your feelings with your spouse, being open and transparent yet speaking the truth in love.
  • Attend a Bible-believing church regularly and get involved in a bible study.
  • If you are a mother, join a play group and make a point of befriending others whose spouses are deployed and reach out to them.
  • Explore other opportunities to interact with people in a healthy manner.  Initiate.
  • Set a daily schedule/routine and stick with it as much as possible.
  • Set goals to work toward during the course of the deployment.  You could do this together as a couple and hold each other accountable.
  • Do some volunteer work either at church or for a local charity.  Get your children involved, too.
  • Choose one of the books or online articles.  Read it and then we’ll discuss it.
  • Think of one thing you could do to help your children who are struggling with the separation.
  • Plan to attend a FamilyLife Weekend to Remember getaway when your spouse returns from deployment.

  • If your spouse has extended duty,
  • What is one step could you take today toward bridging the gap that has developed between you and your mate?
  • Plan a date night with your spouse well in advance and organize a sitter.
  • Pack your spouse a delicious lunch with a note inside expressing your love and respect.
  • Support your spouse and don’t be angry with him/her for doing his/her job.
  •  Keep in mind that your spouse is not your enemy!
  • If you are a woman, read Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas, particularly chapters 12-13: Helping Your Husband to Become More Involved at Home and How to Help Your Man Put Family First.
  • Remember that the Lord loves you, and He is the author of marriage.  He also knows that your spouse cannot meet all of your needs.  You can rely on God for comfort and strength during these hard times.  Reach out to others in the body of Christ.
  • Ask your spouse, “What things would you like me to do that I’m not doing?”
  • Ask God to help you be a better spouse, a better friend and a better parent.  What is one thing you could do in each of these areas to improve your relationships?
  • Spend more time asking about your spouse’s day than complaining about yours.
  • Focus on being in a good mood when your spouse comes home from work.
  • If you want your spouse to move toward you, ask yourself how you are moving toward your spouse.
  • How could you make your spouse’s life more enjoyable?
  • How can I help you get started in working through these feelings of loneliness and isolation?