“It’s so okay to be sad about deployments or infertility or any kind of disappointment. But it’s not okay to drown in them. We have to help our kids learn how to lean on Jesus. And we have to be willing to share our hearts a little when they’re heavy so that our friends can help us bear these loads. No matter how old you are – Jesus is your best friend and He will carry all your cares. Let Him do so now. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. (I Peter 5:7)”
“A Christian marriage involves more than the blending of two people. It includes a third person—Jesus Christ—who gives meaning, guidance and direction to the relationship. When He presides in a marriage, then and only then is it a Christian marriage.”
“Counting trouble a thing of joy does not require that we feel happy about our difficulties but that we understand that ultimately and finally God’s good hand will make the experience worthy of joyful praise and thanksgiving. This mental outlook keeps our focus not on the moment of pain but on the culmination of the process.”
“Wise counsel can be found in those who have weathered the storms of life and can steer you away from bad decisions. They can pray with you and for you when you feel discouraged. They can encourage you not to give up when all seems hopeless. They can be your cheering section—your “fan club”—to encourage you to persevere under trial. They can offer perspective when these days of being geographically separated during wartime seem like they will never end.”
“Separations are the times that will make or break your marriage. They are the times you will be asked to be the ‘selfless giver.’ Your service member may ask you to sacrifice your career, schooling or friends and being close to family—the list could go on. Mostly, you will be asked to give of yourself and your time. As a military spouse, you will make these sacrifices as your part in supporting your service member’s patriotism, courage, and commitment to something he or she believes in.”
“Make a commitment to daily let go of unrealistic expectations and become your spouse’s greatest encourager. And the person they’re created by God to be will begin to emerge with new confidence and love for you.”
Recognize the importance of staying connected with your spouse during this deployment and continue to work at it.
Read any of the online articles listed in the resource guide it with your spouse or a mentor.
Memorize one of the scriptures of help and hope in this guide.
Choose a chapter from one of the books in this guide share your thoughts with a friend or mentor.
Attend church services regularly and where possible, join a study group.
Find other married Christians whose spouses are deployed and meet together for support and encouragement.
Find an accountability partner or a mentor; a more mature Christian who can help and advise you, keeping you accountable for your behavior during the deployment.
Pray for your spouse—his/her physical, emotional and spiritual being-- every day and pray with your spouse when you talk.
Maintain consistent, positive communication with your spouse, even if you feel hurt or anger toward him/her. Confess those feelings to the Lord and to your spouse and explain why you feel that way.
Realize that communication breakdowns can more readily occur due to distance, so be patient, giving your spouse the benefit of the doubt.
Focus on positive, good, pure, right, noble thoughts, not allowing Satan a foothold in your marriage (Phil 4:8).
Discuss with your spouse ways you can both work toward staying connected.
Be transparent with your spouse. Share your joys, sorrow, surprises and concerns.
Dream about the day you will be reunited and share the excitement of this long-anticipated event.
Use the same devotional, such as Our Connection, and discuss via the phone or e-mail.
Be supportive and encouraging of your spouse and above all, be verbal in your praise and expression of love and appreciation.
Remember that all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).