What was your image of a family while you were growing up?
What was your image of a family in your previous marriage?
What is your image of an ideal stepfamily now?
How are these images the same?
How are they different?
What do you believe is your role in the marriage relationship? What do you believe is your spouse’s role?
What do you believe is your role in parenting your own children and your spouse’s children?
If you don’t mind me asking, how did your previous marriage end? Do you feel there was adequate time for you and for your children to heal before entering into your current relationship?
How healthy is your relationship with your former spouse? How healthy is your spouse’s relationship with their former spouse?
How well are you and your former spouse able to communicate regarding concerns for your children? Are there any changes you’d like to see in that area?
How secure are the children in their relationship with their non-custodial parent? Are there any changes you’d like to see there?
I believe the most important relationship in your life is the one you have with Jesus. Can you tell me what that means to you?
What steps have you taken to offer forgiveness to your former spouse for the past? How have you sought his/her forgiveness for the past?
How have you and your current spouse found common ground regarding faith? Are you able to worship together as a family?
How do the two of you work to combine family traditions (especially holiday events) from both families?
Are either you or your spouse favoring your biological children over your stepchildren? How do you think your spouse would answer that question?
Experience shows that it takes longer for children to give up the dream of their parents reuniting than most parents realize, and a stepparent is often seen as the one preventing that reunion. Have you considered that your children may still be grieving the loss of their biological parents being together?
What kind of premarital counseling did you receive prior to beginning your current marriage? Would you consider seeking some now, perhaps from your pastor?
Who are you able to count on to support your family in the midst of stepfamily conflict? Who holds you accountable? Who is actively praying for you?
What is one step you can take in the right direction and how can I help you do that?