The No Threat Message
April 9, 2020The answer to this question is important because a child who thinks you're trying to take their parent's place will likely work hard to prevent you from doing so. So, just tell them and tell the biological parent, too. A stepmom might say to the Mom: "I want you to know, that I know, you're the mom, not me. My job is to bless your kids, not get in the way." Doing this lowers the child's and the parent's sense of threat and their need to oppose the stepparent. It invites cooperation.
The answer to this question is important because a child who thinks you're trying to take their parent's place will likely work hard to prevent you from doing so. So, just tell them and tell the biological parent, too. A stepmom might say to the Mom: "I want you to know, that I know, you're the mom, not me. My job is to bless your kids, not get in the way." Doing this lowers the child's and the parent's sense of threat and their need to oppose the stepparent. It invites cooperation.
FamilyLife Blended® Minute
In this 60 second short feature, Ron Deal delivers a daily word of encouragement for those in stepfamilies and those who know them—which is a whole lot of us today. A relevant, real-world outlook with a biblical perspective.
View resources
Ron Deal
Ron L. Deal is one of the most widely read and viewed experts on blended families in the country. He is Director of FamilyLife Blended® for FamilyLife®, founder of Smart Stepfamilies™, and the author and Consulting Editor of the Smart Stepfamily Series of books including the bestselling Building Love Together in Blended Families: The 5 Love Languages ® and Becoming Stepfamily Smart with Dr. Gary Chapman and The Smart Stepfamily: 7 Steps to a Healthy Family . R...moreRecent Episodes
LISTENER FAVORITES
