Putting Passport 2 Purity to the Test: Caleb’s Story

Boy:  Mom, I’m home. 

Mom:  Hi, honey.  I’ll be down in a minute.  Why don’t you watch some TV? 

Boy:  Okay. 

Bob:  Between the primetime TV schedule, the internet, and the ads that show during sporting events, our children are being forced to grow up.  They’re being exposed to a lot more, a lot sooner than ever before. 

Man:  Will Ian discover Erica’s torrid affair with Brent?

Boy:  Mom, can we get a new TV?  There’s nothing good on this one. 

Bob:  This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, May 23^rd.  Our host is the President of FamilyLife^®, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.  We’re going to talk today about what moms and dads can do to help their children be ready for what they’re experiencing at a younger and younger age these days.   

And welcome to FamilyLife Today.  Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition.  I think we’ve talked about this, but I don’t remember.  Did your dad have a “birds and bees” conversation with you? 

Dennis:  No. 

Bob:  Never did? 

Dennis:  No.

Bob:  Your mom? 

Dennis:  No. 

Bob:  It was Jimmy Fletcher who—

Dennis:  It was Jimmy Fletcher. (Laughter)  I can show you the—it was just west of the only stop light—

Bob:  —in Ozark, Missouri.

Dennis:  —in Ozark, Missouri. 

Bob:  You’ll never forget that. 

Dennis:  Actually, I think it was a caution light.  I think—I should have looked at the light before I had that conversation with Jimmy. 

Bob:  Well, my dad tried to have the conversation with me on the way to a Cub Scout fishing trip, and I had no idea what he was talking about.  I was thinking about fishing, and he was talking about parts of a woman’s anatomy that I didn’t know what he was talking about.  So, I just kind of tuned him out and said, “Uh-huh, uh-huh.” 

Dennis:  So, you didn’t really hear? 

Bob:  No, it was later that I kind of went, “Oh, that’s what he was trying to say.” 

Dennis:  How old were you? 

Bob:  I was probably eight or nine years old. 

Dennis:  Yes. 

Bob:  I’m sure my dad was trying to be conscientious and say, “Okay, I’m glad I checked that off.  I got it done.”  It was the end of the conversation.  Honestly, we look around today and the track record for most of us as moms and dads is about as bad as it was for our parents, right? 

Dennis:  We fall back 40 yards and punt and let the world do it.  Let’s be honest, we’re letting the world educate our kids about sex and how a man and a woman relate to each other sexually. 

Bob:  It was because of your concerns about that and how you saw that played out as you and Barbara taught a sixth grade Sunday school class for 11 years, right? 

About 15 years ago, now, we created a resource called Passport2Purity, a kit where a mom and a daughter or a dad and a son can get away for a weekend—just the two of you, your own private experience, not something we put on but something that you do—listen to some CD’s together and do all of this prior to the onset of adolescence and the dawn of puberty in your son or your daughter. 

Parents have said to us over the years that weekend experience has been a highlight for them. 

Dennis:  When we did it almost 15 years ago, we had the latest, greatest sound effects built into this.  Well, today, I’m going to tell you that what the team has done here is put together a full spectrum audio production that really captures the theater of the mind in a young person and keeps a young lady or a young man’s attention. 

We speak to them with respect.  They hear from my wife, Barbara.  They hear from me and—but, Bob, I just think both from an audio standpoint, sound effects, and from a visual, the new travel journal that we’ve come up with here, the parent guide—everything about this is really cool.  I think it’s going to not only create memories but keepsakes that your son or your daughter is going to treasure for a lifetime. 

Bob:  Well, our hope is that tens of thousands of moms and dads this summer will schedule a weekend, get away, and go through this material with your son or with your daughter. 

Whether it’s our material or somebody else’s material—the issue is have these kinds of conversations with your son or your daughter prior to puberty.  The reason you need to have that kind of a conversation is because your son, your daughter, is going to be facing some real challenges in the months ahead as they enter into the teen years. 

Dennis:  In fact, to illustrate what we’re talking about here—just what your son or your daughter is up against—we’ve got a young man on the phone right here.  His name is Caleb.  He’s just been through a Passport2Purity weekend, and he’s on the phone with us. 

Caleb:  Yes. 

Dennis:  This is Mr. Rainey.  How are you doing? 

Caleb:  I’m doing good. 

Dennis:  Thanks for talking to me today.  I’ve got a friend here with me who’s going to be on this call with me, Mr. Lepine.  Say, “Hi,” to Mr. Lepine. 

Caleb:  Hi, Mr. Lepine. 

Bob:  Hey, Caleb, how are you doing? 

Caleb:  I’m doing good. 

Bob:  Good. 

Dennis:  Hey, tell me about the Passport2Purity weekend you had with your dad. 

Caleb:  Well, my—it started off I didn’t—my dad told me a couple of days before that I was going to be doing something called the Passport2Purity during my Boy Scout trip.  We got in the car that day, and I was like, “Oh, no. I don’t know what this is going to be like and everything.”  I was kind of nervous. 
 

Child:  It’s some kind of kit with CD’s—Passport2Purity.

Caleb:  And I learned a lot about stuff. 

Dennis:  Stuff? 

Caleb:  Yes.  Then, it was really fun towards the end because I got—I realized that I just had the best time with my dad that I pretty much ever had before.  I got the sword and a dog tag—

Dennis:  Really? 

Caleb:  Yes, it has my name on it, and it has a—let me—I’m wearing it right now.  What does it say?  It says, “Jeremiah 29:1” and “Proverbs 10:1.” 

Dennis:  Do you know what those verses are about? 

Caleb:  I’ve looked them up before.  I don’t really remember them. 

Seeds Family Worship: (from Passport2Purity)

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. 

“Oh, I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord.

Dennis:  Your dad gave you dog tags—kind of like what a military man would wear who’s going to battle. 

Caleb:  Yes. 

Dennis:  That’s pretty cool. 

Caleb:  Uh-huh.

Seeds Family Worship: (from Passport2Purity)

“Plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

Prosper you and not to harm you…”

Dennis:  What was your favorite part about the two days you spent with your dad? 

Caleb:  My favorite part would have to be when we were talking about how it was good to feel like a caged bird because your parents are trying to protect you from all the different traps. 

Dennis:  So, you heard my daughter talk about how she felt like she was a caged bird when she was a teenager? 

[Recorded audio begins]

Daughter:  Yes, I compared myself to a caged bird—

Dennis:  A caged bird trapped in prison? 

Daughter:  —and they’d thrown the key away.  (Laughter)

[Recorded audio ends] 

Dennis:  You heard her kind of laughing about that because today she is an adult, and she goes, “It was really good that my parents protected me.” 

Daughter:  (from Passport2Purity) You do have to have some perspective, and I do think that is one thing you are lacking at that age.  You are lacking that perspective that your parents have.  It’s just good to be caged, or kept away from certain things, for a time. 

Caleb:  I’m realizing that already that it’s because my parents are trying to protect me from all the different traps that you talked about at the beginning, you know? 

Dennis:  Yes. 

[Recorded audio begins]

Dennis:  Where I am here on this trail, there’s all these traps set, and I’m walking over here.  Here’s just a little one.  I’m not even sure what this trap is.  It may be like a muskrat trap, and it’s just a little trap; but I’m going to tell you something: If you stuck your hand in this, it could do some serious damage.  You know what it’s called?  Lying to parents.  Watch what happens.  (Click) 

No, it didn’t get me, but it sure has gotten a lot of teenagers.  Well, that’s a little trap….

[Recorded audio ends]

Bob:  Did you feel, when it was all over, like you’d graduated from being a boy and taking your first step toward being a man? 

Caleb:  Yes, sir.  Like I said, when my dad gave me my sword, he said that I can open it part way only to the first line of it, but I can’t open the real thing until I’m a real man. 

Dennis:  Oh, really? 

Caleb:  Uh-huh. 

Dennis:  That’s pretty cool. 

Caleb:  Yes. 

Dennis:  Well, you—it’s my understanding a few days after you got back from the Passport2Purity weekend with your dad that you were on your way home from school and something happened. 

Caleb:  Yes.  I wasn’t really on my way home from school.  We had been home for a little while, and I was hanging outside with my friends—made the mistake of staying outside until around nine o’clock. 

So, my friend that was my neighbor, his little sister came out, and she had all of her friends.  They’re a couple of grades older than me.  I think maybe about eighth grade, and I’m only in fifth.  So, they came over.  They started horsing around my yard, and one of them chucked a bottle at my head and all that.  They came over and asked me if I wanted to have sex and everything.  I was like, “No, not really.” 

Bob:  Now, wait.  You’re telling me these girls came and asked you if you wanted to have sex? 

Caleb:  Yes, sir. 

Dennis:  Because you had been through the Passport2Purity weekend with your dad, you knew what they were talking about, right? 

Caleb:  Yes, sir.  I was really nervous.  I was like, “What?  This is happening already?” 

Bob:  Yes. 

Dennis:  No kidding.  Eleven—you’re 11 years old or 12? 

Caleb:  I’m 11. 

Bob:  So, you said, “I don’t think so?” 

Caleb:  I said—yes, I said, “No.  No, I don’t want—I’m eleven years old, I’m not married, and I’m not going to do this yet.” 

Dennis:  You know what?  Way to go! 

Bob:  Good for you! 

Dennis:  Way to go! 

Bob:  That’s a good answer right there. 

Dennis:  That’s a great answer. 

Bob:  Just to say, “No.  No, I’m not married.  I’m not going to do that.”  So, what did they say when you said that? 

Caleb:  They just left.  They were like—they just walked away and everything.  I could hear them laughing and giggling and everything, and I was like, “Were they really asking, or were they just trying to get on my nerves?” 

Bob:  Yes, do you think they were teasing you, or do you think they were serious? 

Caleb:  I probably think they were just teasing me; but still, that’s really nothing to joke about because it’s—I think that it’s pretty serious, not even to joke about it. 

Dennis:  I think you’re thinking pretty square—

Bob:  You really are. 

Dennis:  —for an 11-year-old.

Bob:  You’re a bright young man.  I can tell. 

Caleb:  Thank you. 

Dennis:  I think you not only took a great step toward manhood as you got away with your dad, but I think you took about two or three steps there with those girls out in the yard. 

Caleb:  Yes.  I mean—I kept telling them, “Okay, guys, please just leave.  I just want to hang out with my friends in my front yard.  I don’t want to have you guys over here asking me to do that.  I just wanted to be out here playing basketball.” 

Bob:  So, were they pestering you?  I mean, were they kind of keeping it up, or was it just a one-time thing? 

Caleb:  They kind of went back inside; and then, about five minutes later, they came back out.  I mean, they were—they grinded me. 

Bob:  Explain what you mean. 

Caleb:  They’d like come up—one of them is on either side of me, and they start rubbing up against me and everything. 

Dennis:  This is after you had told them you didn’t want to have anything to do—

Caleb:  Yes. 

Dennis:  —with them from a sexual standpoint. 

Caleb:  Uh-huh.  They’re like, “Oh, this”—and everything.  I’m like, “Okay, guys, get off my lawn.  I don’t—get off my property.  You don’t need to be here.  I’m 11 years old.  I don’t need people”—

Dennis:  Wow! 

Caleb:  —“doing this to me.” 

Dennis:  Well, I want you to know, as a dad, Caleb, I’m really sorry that that happened.  But I am really proud of you, as a young man, for standing for what’s right, standing firm, and for keeping your head in the midst of all that. 

Bob:  Did you go and tell your mom and dad what had happened? 

Caleb:  Yes, sir.  I went in and told my mom and everything.  I think my dad had to work late.  So, when he got back, I was already in bed and everything.  The next morning, my mom had told him over night.  Then, so, we sort of talked about it and everything.  I was—that’s when I was really happy to realize that I had a dad that would care enough to talk about something like that. 

Bob:  Did you feel at all embarrassed telling your mom what had happened? 

Caleb:  Yes, because I’m—believe it or not, I do tell my mom most of the things.  Then, she normally tells it to my dad; but when there in the middle of the Passport2Purity, when you said that it’s always important to tell your parents everything, all the details—

Dennis:  Yes.  Good for you.  Good for you.  Good for your dad and your mom. 

Caleb:  I’m starting to feel like it was sort of a little bit of a test to see—I know my mom or dad hadn’t told them to do this, but I kind of felt like it was a test from God almost that He was kind of judging me to see if I would say, “No.” 

Bob:  You know what?  I think it was, and I think there are going to be some more tests along the way.  There are going to be times when you think, “Boy, should I give into this one or not?”  That’s when you’ve got to remember that you’ve made some decisions—not in the middle of the battle, you made decisions before you were in the battle about how you are going to react. 

You decided in advance.  You made up your mind in advance what you were going to do, didn’t you? 

Caleb:  Yes, sir.  I mean, I made my decision in the front of my dad’s car during the Passport2Purity.  Well, when you—after you’ve got that man to come on and talk about what he did with his girlfriend and all that, I told myself not until I’m married. 

Man:  (from Passport to Purity) I ignored those warnings, and Satan will continually try to get you to fall; but he only has to get you to fall once for you not to have that gift for your spouse.  I made the wrong decision. 

Caleb:  I told myself not until I’m married. 

Dennis:  Way to go!  I mean that.  Way to go, Caleb!  I’m really proud of you, and I know your dad is.  That’s why your dad told me not only about the Passport2Purity weekend he went on with you; but also, what had happened and just how proud he was that you’d stepped up and did what’s right.  I’m with Mr. Lepine. I think it was a test to see if you were listening; and it’s apparent you did listen. 

Unfortunately, over the next—well, let’s see probably over the next 70 years of your life, Caleb, you’re going to face many tests; and there’s always the grace of God if you fail, but you know what?  Because you’re better equipped for battle, I think you are going to do just fine, and I think you’re going to keep on doing the thing that pleases God. 

Caleb:  Yes, I mean when—it took me a second when they asked me that question, that one question, it took me a second.  I’m like, “Okay, yes or no, A or B?”  Then, I just said, “No, not at all.  I’m not married.  I’m not doing this yet.” 

Dennis:  So, Caleb, if you were talking to a parent right now—a mom, a dad—about why they ought to take their son or their daughter on the Passport2Purity weekend, what would you say to them about why they ought to do it? 

Caleb:  I’d say that they should really do it for their young man or young lady because it’s really important.  I know it made a big step in my life to show how important it is for you to save yourself from all these different traps like you named at the very beginning. 

Dennis:  (from Passport to Purity) Oh, this is interesting.  There are a series of traps on the trail over here, not just one trap but multiple traps. 

Caleb:  I mean it’s really important because you—as you mature and you’re going off to middle school, there are kids that are going to be trying to get you to do certain things—do drugs, have sex, all that—and you shouldn’t—you just shouldn’t do it until you’re married.  Drugs, you shouldn’t do at all. 

Bob:  Yes.  You don’t follow the herd, do you? 

Caleb:  No, sir. 

Dennis:  Well, Caleb, I think your mom and dad are proud of you, but I bet—I think there’s going to be a lot of phone calls from people who want you to come visit their houses and talk to their sons and daughters.  (Laughter) 

Caleb:  Yes. 

Dennis:  We want, Caleb, for an evening, for dinner. 

Bob:  That’s right. 

Dennis:  We want him to come in and speak truth to our sons and daughters—probably, some who are teenagers, Caleb.  (Laughter) 

Bob:  Caleb, we appreciate you taking some time for the phone call, thanks for being honest about what you felt and about what you went through, and thanks for standing strong. 

Caleb:  Yes, not a problem. 

Dennis:  Yes, I agree, Caleb.  You’re the man! 

Caleb:  Thanks. 

Dennis:  Thank you.  By the way, Caleb, if you were a little older, I think I’d recruit you to be the co-host of this broadcast—

Bob:  Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Dennis:  —and replace Bob.

Bob:  Come on!  (Laughter)  I’ve still got a few good years in me. 

Dennis:  I think you’ve got a future in radio, Caleb.  You’re a good communicator. 

Caleb:  Thank you.  Yes, I was talking on my ham—on my grandfather’s ham radio.  So, I’ve gotten pretty familiar with radio so—

Bob:  You’ve got some experience.  Alright.  Alright, I better watch my back here.  (Laughter)

Dennis:  You better, Bob. 

Bob:  Yes.  Thanks, Caleb. 

Dennis:  Bye-bye.

Caleb:  Bye. 

Bob:  You know you hear that, and you know it’s going on, but what a tragedy.  As you said to Caleb in the call, it’s just wrong. 

Dennis:  Yes.  Even—I’m just reflecting back on what Caleb said.  It’s just—I’ve got grandsons. 

Bob:  Yes. 

Dennis:  I’m glad I finished raising my sons and my daughters; but it’s now the next generation, and it isn’t getting better folks.  It isn’t getting better at all.  In fact, it’s getting worse.  It demands that you and your spouse be all-hands-on-deck around the subject of preparing your son, your daughter, for adolescence.   If you don’t, the world is going to move into the vacuum, and it’s going to fill it with all kinds of trash and sewage. 

You know some of it, Bob, is just what Caleb experienced which is, frankly, sexual abuse.  He shouldn’t have to be facing that as a 12-year-old boy. 

Bob:  You wonder how he would have processed that had he not been on the Passport2Purity weekend with his dad. 

Dennis:  Yes, you really do.  You really do. 

Bob:  Would he have known what was going on?  If he didn’t know what was going on, would he have had convictions in that area?  Because that—Passport2Purity is designed to say, “Look, here are issues that you may not understand that are about to surface in your life, and it’s going to require some choices and some convictions from you.” 

Dennis:  In Caleb’s situation, you wonder how God’s going to use this in his life as he’s a teenager and as a man because this isn’t going to be the last temptation he’s going to face.  As I mentioned, unfortunately, he’s going to have to face it through the teen years and through his adult life.  He’s got to be on guard.  He has to be a wise man. 

That’s what we’re trying to do here on FamilyLife Today is equip you as a mom, dad, single parent, grandparent, an aunt, an uncle, to really win with the next generation and keep them out of the traps and help them know how to live for Jesus Christ and grow up to become healthy adults—moms and dads who raise the next generation. 

Bob:  Well, it’s what we’re hoping a resource like Passport2Purity will do is to give you a tool, so you can have these kinds of conversation with your son or daughter to get them ready for what may be around the corner for them. 

Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to find out more about the Passport2Purity resource kit.  FamilyLifeToday.com is our website or call toll-free at 800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329.  You can order from us when you call, or you can order online.  Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com, and the toll-free number is 1-800-FL-TODAY. 

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Here at FamilyLife this month, we’ve had some friends who have come along and said, “We believe in what you’re doing, and we’d like to encourage regular FamilyLife Today listeners to make a donation this month.”  So, they have put together a matching gift fund with $650,000 in it.  When we hear from you and you make a donation of $25, $50, or $100, they release money from the fund to match that donation.  So, your contribution is effectively doubled when you give this month. 

We hope to take full advantage of this matching gift opportunity.  If we’re going to do that, we need to hear from you today.  We’re asking you to go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to make a donation or call 1-800-FL-TODAY, make a donation over the phone.  Again, when that happens, your donation is matched dollar for dollar up to a total of $650,000. 

We’re grateful for whatever you are able to do in support of this ministry, and we just want to say thanks in advance for your donation this month. 

We want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow.  We’re going to talk with a man who works everyday with young boys helping them understand what it means to be a man.  You’ll meet Braxton Brady tomorrow and hear about the work he’s doing.  I hope you can join us for that. 

I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.  On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.  We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today. 

FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. 

Help for today.  Hope for tomorrow.

^©Song:  Hope and a Future

Artist:  Seeds Family Worship

Album:  Purity (p) Seeds Family Worship 2012

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Artist:  Seeds Family Worship

Album:  Purity (p) Seeds Family Worship 2012

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