Googling for Help on Marriage

What can you learn about the state of many marriages today from Google’s most popular searches?

Sadly, quite a bit.

To see for yourself, go to the homepage for Google and type in “My husband.” Google’s “auto complete” function will then provide you with a number of suggestions to finish your search phrase, based on its most popular searches. Here’s what came up on my browser:

My husband

…is annoying

…hates me

…doesn’t love me

…is a jerk

…ignores me

…cheated on me

…is an alcoholic

Type in “My marriage” and here’s what happens with the Google auto complete function:

My marriage

…is falling apart

…is in trouble

…is over

…is failing

…was a mistake

Pretty sobering.

I can’t take credit for this idea. A colleague here at FamilyLife recently sent me an interesting blog post by Eyder Paralta on National Public Radio’s website. “I once heard Andreas Weigend—former chief scientist for Amazon—say that Internet searches reveal our most secret desires,” Paralta wrote. Taking his cue from another blogger, Paralta tested this theory by typing “How can I get my wife” and “How can I get my husband” into Google. Here’s what appeared:

How can I get my wife

…to love me again

…in the mood

…to trust me again.

Here was a similar search:

How can I get my husband

…to fall in love with me again

…to be more affectionate

…to help around the house

…to want me

…to be more romantic

…back

This is just one piece of the picture of American marriage. But it’s enough to show once again how many people are looking for help for their marriages and families.

There are answers to these problems—and those answers are found in a relationship with God and in the plan He provides in the Scriptures. Probably you know some people who need those answers.

When I read stories about marriages that have been saved or revived, I often notice that someone in that couple’s life was courageous enough to step in and offer help. Perhaps a listening ear and a wise word of exhortation. Or an invitation to attend a Weekend to Remember® marriage getaway or a HomeBuilders Couples Series® group.

In your family, in your church, and in your neighborhood there are people who are searching desperately for help. You can look at this as an overwhelming problem, or a tremendous opportunity.

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This article originally appeared in the February 22, 2010 issue of Marriage Memo, a weekly e-newsletter.