Session 5.3

Session 5: Understanding Identity

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!

Psalm 127:3-5

Identity pirates.

How could our own scrabbling for identity affect our kids?

Take Aim Questions

Take some time to journal and process the questions below, they’ll help you apply parenting principles that will set you up for success.

Have you ever made the mistake of finding your identity in your child’s performance?

What practical steps can you make to stop doing that?

What have you done to show your children that they are special and unconditionally loved?

Do you think you are equipping your child to know and follow God with their life?

The Bible tells us that every child is God’s workmanship (Eph.2:10). How can you teach them to believe that?

If you have a son, what voices are in his life to call great things out of him and to encourage him toward manhood?

The Need To Know

Good to grow.

  •   We can’t love our children well when we’re using them to build our own identity, our sense of meaning and worth
  •   Encouraging your child in who they are protects them from seeking that affirmation elsewhere.

Your child’s identity blooms beneath the warmth of one-on-one time.

  •   Plan for regular time alone together: warm drinks in the morning with the early riser, reading and cuddling, cooking, or having a standing date to catch up.
  •   Volunteer for a service project together.
  •   Pray together. Select a Bible study or book to discuss, or memorize verses.
  •   Go on personalized outings (breakfast, coffee, ice cream, hiking, camping, a bookstore, a park, shopping for a gift).
  •   Take a weekend road trip.
  •   Write occasional notes to each child. Be serious, silly, or a little of both.