How long has it been since your previous marriage ended? How did it end? Why did you decide to remarry?
Who were the people you turned to for support during the breakup of your first marriage? Was your current spouse one of those people?
What differences are there between your current relationship and your previous one? What similarities have you noticed?
What have you learned from your past marriage (e.g. about your needs, feelings, goals, the way you handle stress, the way you handle another person’s anger)?
In what ways do you believe you have grown to be a better spouse through what you have learned?
How are the qualities of commitment, trust, forgiveness, and hope exhibited in this marriage?
Did you anticipate remarriage being in some way a “cure” for the effects of divorce? What has surprised you?
I believe that the most important relationship in your life is the one you have with Jesus Christ. Can you tell me what you believe about that?
Fear of repeating past mistakes can be a paralyzing feeling. Are you ever afraid that your past will repeat itself? That past mistakes will reappear?
Do you experience any guilt over your previous marriage? Guilt is another powerful factor and can come because of unfulfilled expectations, how your children’s lives have been disrupted, broken commitments you’ve made, etc.
Is there any residue of anger that spills out into your relationships? Anger is also a frequent companion in remarriage. Anger can be about the past or the present. Sometimes anger takes on the form of resentment or bitterness.
During your divorce, how did the other significant people in your life respond? Would you want to discuss how those positive or negative attitudes affected you or still affect you?
Would you consider sharing with me the steps you’ve taken in the process of forgiving your previous spouse? What steps have you taken in seeking forgiveness and how did your former spouse respond?
What steps have you taken to restore your former married relationship to the level of healthy friendship, especially for the benefit of any children involved? How has your former spouse responded to those efforts?