Love Like You Mean It Assessment
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Ta-da! Below, based on our estimations from your responses, find snapshots to help you think deeper about areas where you might be able to love more like Jesus. Treat these as roadsigns toward Christlike love, and as conversation starters between you and your spouse.
And get ready to love like you mean it.
IMPORTANT: For your results to properly save, first expand the percentage ranges that apply to your score in every category. The “Save Results as PDF” button will only save a screenshot of whatever results are expanded below.
Patience
The Greek word for “patience” in 1 Corinthians 13 is connected to long suffering, long-temperedness, and expressing anger only as God directs.
Suffering, of course, might seem an unexpected place for the Bible’s definition of love to begin–yet God’s own love is described multiple times as “steadfast” and “enduring forever” (Psalm 100:5, 117:5, 136:1, etc.)–and not through just the easy parts.
Your score indicates patience may not come naturally. Here’s the good news: patience is also a fruit of God’s Spirit, who can grow your patience as you walk with Him. No matter how many times you blow it or forget to ask His help, it’s never too late to develop this aspect of love! Be sure to pay attention to session #2 as you proceed through the study.
Your score indicates you’re generally a patient person, but you have your weak moments. (In any assessment, we’re typically comparing our behavior to other humans–but God’s holiness sets the bar high!)
Here’s the good news: patience is also a fruit of the Spirit, so God can grow your patience as you walk with Him.
You can show greater love to your spouse by laying down the situations that irritate you. God invites you to shed impatience over the small (and large) stuff so you can love your spouse in a big way.
Your score indicates you frequently exhibit this fruit of the Spirit. There’s no way to predict how we’re going to react to disappointments in our lives, but you’re able to remain cool-headed most of the time. Way to go!
A tip: practicing patience at home includes patience with yourself. Oftentimes, we can feel “run over” when irritating situations arise. Finding healthy ways to express frustration without losing your cool could prevent a breakdown in the future.
Kindness
God constantly, actively works for our well-being (Romans 8:28). In this way, he shows his kindness toward us. In 1 Corinthians 13, the original word translated “kindness” has ties to gentleness, serving others, and benevolence.
Your score indicates you may struggle with kindness. Kindness shows up first within our thoughts and attitudes; Romans 12:9 reminds us, “Love must be genuine.” How will you actively work to move the well-being of others to top of mind?
For help, dive deep into session 3.
Your score indicates you experience both wins and losses when it comes to naturally showing kindness–though we know God’s kindness sets a high standard! Kindness shows up first within our thoughts and attitudes; Romans 12:9 reminds us, “Love must be genuine.” How will you actively work to move the well-being of others even more to top of mind?
For help, dive deep into session 3.
Your score indicates you work hard at kindness! Kindness shows up first within our thoughts and attitudes; Romans 12:9 reminds us, “Love must be genuine.” So that you can move increasingly toward holiness in this area, challenge yourself to evaluate the true motives beneath your kindnesses.
Start by asking questions like, “When I’m honest, what do I gain from this act of service?”
Humility
The Greek origin of “love is not arrogant” in 1 Corinthians 13:4 refers to a word also used for a painfully swollen organ or a set of bellows for the fire. Arrogance tends to inflate itself with accomplishments, approval, or what it has (power, control, possessions). It requires constant “hot air” to re-inflate itself following a slight…or simply a new day to prove our value.
This is contrary to Jesus’ substantive, solid work on the Cross–declaring Christ’s finished work, God’s approval, and our undeniable, unshakable worth.
Your score indicates you may find the need to “inflate” your worth through pride’s false security. Philippians 2:3 counsels, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” It’s this kind of love Jesus showed us in his death, and this kind of love that revolutionizes a marriage! Spend time examining where you most seek to find your worth outside of Jesus’ work for you–and becoming aware of how this keenly affects your spouse.
For extra help, keep an eye out for session 4.
Your score indicates you’re growing in humility!–but may occasionally find the need to “inflate” your worth through pride’s false security. Philippians 2:3 counsels, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” It’s this kind of love Jesus showed us in his death, and this kind of love that revolutionizes a marriage! Spend time examining where you most seek to find your worth outside of Jesus’ work for you–and becoming aware of how this keenly affects your spouse.
For extra help, keep an eye out for session 4.
Your score indicates you demonstrate continued humility toward your spouse. Great job! Continue to examine whether your humble actions stem from the appearance of humility, or from a growing satisfaction in Christ’s work, approval, and the worth he demonstrated for you. Genuine humility–revealed in those moments where we most feel ambushed–truly revolutionizes a marriage.
Generosity
First Corinthians 13:5 describes this quality of love with a fascinating, completely unnatural description of humans: Love does not demand its own way. Giving–rather than “seeking one’s own” (the direct translation of this verse)–runs completely contrary to our wiring from day one, save God’s image in us.
Generosity mirrors God–who didn’t even “spare His own son, but gave him up for us all”–so “how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32). Thus it fits that God speaks openly about his reward for generosity, and how much He “loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7).
Your score indicates you have room to grow in generosity. Take time to prayerfully examine what’s beneath any tight-fistedness with your time, resources, energy, talents, comfort, convenience, career, and future. Do they feel too limited to share? Is there a desire to punish your spouse? Are you struggling with good old-fashioned selfishness like the rest of us?!
For the next three weeks, see if you can make one sacrificial gesture to your spouse each day. You’ll have engaged in 21 acts of generosity–and just maybe have established a beautiful habit of love. Find extra help in session 5.
Your score indicates you experience both wins and losses in generosity. Take time to prayerfully examine what’s beneath any tight-fistedness with your time, resources, energy, talents, comfort, convenience, career, and future. Do they feel too limited to share? Is there a desire to punish your spouse? Are you struggling with good old-fashioned selfishness like the rest of us?!
For the next three weeks, see if you can make one sacrificial gesture to your spouse each day. You’ll have engaged in 21 acts of generosity–and just maybe have established a beautiful habit of love. Find extra help in session 5.
EasyGoing
God’s brand of love is one that’s resilient in the face of human weakness, and sin, bouncing back to kindness despite others’ failure. The original language of 1 Corinthians 13:5 elaborates that this love doesn’t have a sharp edge; it’s not easily provoked. It stays classy.
God shows us this unflappable love in the way his kindness leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4).
Your score suggests easygoing love could be a target area of growth. Maybe you struggle to receive and intimately know God’s graciousness yourself, or perhaps goals, agendas, or expectations make it hard to rebound.
Sure, it’s easy to blame others for the ways they provoke us. But as missionary Amy Carmichael once wrote, “A cup brimful of sweetness cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, no matter how suddenly jarred.” Observe what situations sap your easygoing love for the next two weeks–and ask God’s forgiveness and help for the ways you contribute. Look to session 6 for more ideas on this.
Your score suggests you’ve seen both wins and losses when it comes to easygoing love. Maybe you struggle to receive and intimately know God’s graciousness yourself, or perhaps goals, agendas, or expectations make it hard to rebound.
Sure, it’s easy to blame others for the ways they provoke us. But as missionary Amy Carmichael once wrote, “A cup brimful of sweetness cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, no matter how suddenly jarred.” Observe what situations sap this kind of love for the next two weeks–and ask God’s forgiveness and help for the ways you contribute. Look to session 6 for more ideas on this.
Virtuosity
“Love” in our world is so often mixed up with doing what you want. Or being true to yourself. Or feeling good. But the biblical brand of love is so much more robust than this–realizing sometimes we don’t want what’s good and best. Yet 1 Corinthians 13:6 articulates that real love can’t delight in any evil.
That’s tough, because sometimes it means the best for someone is counter to what they want. But virtuosity loves enough to not feed anyone’s personal idols or sins–which represent a cancer to the one indulging in them. There’s an element of love which must be grounded in a fierce love of justice for the beloved…even when the enemy is within them
Your score indicates this could be a good area to grow in. What might be keeping you from wanting more for your spouse, from courageously advocating for their long-term good? Sometimes this can arise from a desire to keep the peace, avoid rejection or disapproval, or simply hunger and thirst for God’s righteousness in your spouse (see Matthew 5:6).
Ask God to help you love His holiness even more than your spouse’s happiness. And check out session 7 for more help.
Your score indicates you’re familiar with both success and failure in this area. What might be keeping you from wanting more for your spouse, from courageously advocating for their long-term good? Sometimes this can arise from a desire to keep the peace, avoid rejection or disapproval, or simply hunger and thirst for God’s righteousness in your spouse (see Matthew 5:6).
Ask God to help you love His holiness even more than your spouse’s happiness. And check out session 7 for more help.
Honesty
Honesty can feel like a tricky part of love–especially in light of cultural values that love makes us feel good. And often truth…doesn’t. (Part of this is tied with the virtue of humility: our ability to tell the truth about who we are, seeing ourselves as no greater and no less than God says we are–and finding our value there.)
When 1 Corinthians 13:6 says love “rejoices in the truth”, the Greek word implies not only spoken truth, but living a reality of truth. This kind of truth means we’re sincere, loving uprightness, living in reality rather than illusion, and straightforward rather than cagey or shrewd. If a spouse asks our opinion on their clothing or their response in a social situation–are we “naked and unashamed” with each other?
To put it another way: Can your spouse 100% trust you?
Your score indicates this can be a challenge for you–to be completely truthful. Often, it’s our own fear or values that subvert our honesty: We want to be encouraging. We hate conflict. We’re afraid of how the truth will rock our world. We’re afraid of a spouse’s reaction. Dig beneath situations where you struggle to be honest–and ask God to help you unflinchingly walk in the light, trusting Him with your fear (see John 1:5-6). And don’t miss session 8, which could bring some help in this area.
Your score indicates complete truth is a value with which you experience both success and failure. Often, it’s our own fear or values that subvert our honesty: We want to be encouraging. We hate conflict. We’re afraid of how the truth will rock our world. We’re afraid of a spouse’s reaction.
Dig beneath situations where you struggle to be honest–and ask God to help you unflinchingly walk in the light, trusting Him with your fear (see John 1:5-6). And don’t miss session 8, which could bring some help in this area.
The good news: It sounds like you share God’s value of honesty in the way you love. That’s great! If a spouse asks our opinion on their clothing or their response in a social situation–perhaps you’re establishing a value of being “naked and unashamed” with each other–and your spouse can truly trust you.
Keep pressing on in a virtue our world doesn’t always appreciate. Ask God to continue to help you speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).
Tenacity
This kind of love is what we’ll call “bulldog love”–love with grit, that digs in and doesn’t let go. It “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7).
But even with all that love-driven ferocity, love “believing all things” ≠ “love is naive.” Somehow, love manages to completely tell the truth…and completely avoid cynicism, for the sake of hopefulness; optimism. This kind of love isn’t even always faith in your spouse–as much as it is in a God who redeems, restores, and makes all things new.
Your score indicates tenacity may be a good area in which to grow. What might be keeping you from this kind of unrelenting, undaunted, persevering love and belief? Spend time praying about the doubt or lack of resilience you’ve sensed in your love. Ask God to grow in you the kind of love that endures forever (see Psalm 136). Check out session 9 for more thoughts on tenacious love.
Your score indicates tenacity is an area of strength at some times–and weakness in others. What might be keeping you from this kind of unrelenting, undaunted, persevering love and belief? Spend time praying about the doubt or lack of resilience you’ve sensed in your love. Ask God to grow in you the kind of love that endures forever (see Psalm 136). Check out session 9 for more thoughts on tenacious love.
Resiliency
Resilient love is one that keeps bouncing back–keeps choosing the hard work of love. As 1 Corinthians 13:8 puts it, “Love never ends.” It doesn’t back off or back down; it isn’t so over this. In fact, resilient love defines itself by how it responds to hardship, loss, sin, grief, even betrayal. It is love with muscle, that keeps reaching toward.
This kind of resilience is fueled by its own experience with God’s filling, never-stopping love. It’s modeled after and replenished by a God who, despite us being enemies, went the distance to bring us close. He goes after his lost son, his lost sheep (see Luke 15). Resilient love models what God did for us in giving Jesus (see Romans 5:8). It’s Jesus granting Peter a catch of fish and making him breakfast on the beach after Peter’s betrayal (see John 21).
Your score indicates this kind of love may be tough for you. Spend time examining what past experiences–or a lack of love yourself–might influence a desire to let go. In the next three weeks, when difficulty or sin creates distance between you and your spouse or another loved one, pray about how God would have you love them with an undeserved kindness far greater than what’s between you. Dig deep into session 10 for more help.
Your score indicates this kind of love is something you do well–and sometimes, not so much. Spend time examining what past experiences–or a lack of love yourself–might influence a desire to let go. In the next three weeks, when difficulty or sin creates distance between you and your spouse or another loved one, pray about how God would have you love them with an undeserved kindness far greater than what’s between you. Dig deep into session 10 for more help.
IMPORTANT:
For your results to properly save, first expand the percentage ranges that apply to your score in every category. The “Save Results as PDF” button will only save a screenshot of whatever results are expanded.
Is your spouse’s turn to take the assessment?
Click the “Restart Quiz” button!
IMPORTANT:
For your results to properly save, first expand the percentage ranges that apply to your score in every category. The “Save Results as PDF” button will only save a screenshot of whatever results are expanded below.
Is your spouse’s turn to take the assessment?
Click the “Restart Quiz” button!
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Question 1 of 33
1. Question
1. I tend to remind my spouse or partner of their responsibilities a lot.
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Question 2 of 33
2. Question
2. Waiting for a reply from my spouse or partner is difficult.
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Question 3 of 33
3. Question
3. In conversation, I struggle to pay attention to topics I’m not interested in.
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Question 4 of 33
4. Question
4. When I help my spouse or partner with something I don’t expect them to return the favor.
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Question 5 of 33
5. Question
5. Oftentimes, I will anticipate the needs of my spouse or partner and meet them without prompting.
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Question 6 of 33
6. Question
6. When my spouse or partner makes mistakes, I think it could happen to anybody; including me.
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Question 7 of 33
7. Question
7. When my spouse or partner proves I’m wrong, it’s difficult to accept it.
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Question 8 of 33
8. Question
8. Certain tasks are beneath me.
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Question 9 of 33
9. Question
9. I know my strengths and weaknesses well.
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Question 10 of 33
10. Question
10. Oftentimes, I give in to my spouse or partner’s preferences for small decisions.
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Question 11 of 33
11. Question
11. When I have margin in my schedule, I let my spouse or partner know in case they need anything.
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Question 12 of 33
12. Question
12. I make sacrifices for my spouse or partner.
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Question 13 of 33
13. Question
13. I try to be calm and understanding with people who offend me.
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Question 14 of 33
14. Question
14. When I’m proven right, I’m likely to say “I told you so” to my spouse or partner.
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Question 15 of 33
15. Question
15. My spouse or partner would say I don’t use their mistakes as an excuse to be angry.
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Question 16 of 33
16. Question
16. Sometimes, I find it difficult to know the right thing to do.
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Question 17 of 33
17. Question
17. There is no such thing as absolute right or absolute wrong.
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Question 18 of 33
18. Question
18. Most of the time I choose to do what feels right to me.
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Question 19 of 33
19. Question
19. There have been moments in my relationship where my spouse or partner lost trust in me.
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Question 20 of 33
20. Question
20. Depending on the situation, it’s okay to lie.
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Question 21 of 33
21. Question
21. When I’ve done something hurtful or wrong, I try to make it known to my spouse or partner.
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Question 22 of 33
22. Question
22. I have difficulty maintaining enthusiasm in my relationship.
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Question 23 of 33
23. Question
23. When I face trials, I find it easy to to stay motivated.
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Question 24 of 33
24. Question
24. I like to work out relationship problems with my spouse or partner.
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Question 25 of 33
25. Question
25. When changes occur, I find it difficult to adapt.
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Question 26 of 33
26. Question
26. When I’m feeling sad, afraid, or angry I find healthy ways to express those feelings.
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Question 27 of 33
27. Question
27. I believe I can achieve my goals, even if there are obstacles.
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Question 28 of 33
28. Question
28. Please indicate the degree of happiness, all things considered, of your relationship.
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Question 29 of 33
29. Question
29. I have a warm and comfortable relationship with my spouse or partner.
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Question 30 of 33
30. Question
30. How rewarding is your relationship with your partner?
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Question 31 of 33
31. Question
31. In general, how satisfied are you with your relationship?
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Question 32 of 33
32. Question
32. My belief in God gives my life meaning.
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Question 33 of 33
33. Question
33. I have a close relationship with God.
Assessment Summary
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Your Assessment Results
Ta-da! Below, based on our estimations from your responses, find snapshots to help you think deeper about areas where you might be able to love more like Jesus. Treat these as roadsigns toward Christlike love, and as conversation starters between you and your spouse.
And get ready to love like you mean it.
IMPORTANT: For your results to properly save, first expand the percentage ranges that apply to your score in every category. The “Save Results as PDF” button will only save a screenshot of whatever results are expanded below.
Patience
The Greek word for “patience” in 1 Corinthians 13 is connected to long suffering, long-temperedness, and expressing anger only as God directs.
Suffering, of course, might seem an unexpected place for the Bible’s definition of love to begin–yet God’s own love is described multiple times as “steadfast” and “enduring forever” (Psalm 100:5, 117:5, 136:1, etc.)–and not through just the easy parts.
Your score indicates patience may not come naturally. Here’s the good news: patience is also a fruit of God’s Spirit, who can grow your patience as you walk with Him. No matter how many times you blow it or forget to ask His help, it’s never too late to develop this aspect of love! Be sure to pay attention to session #2 as you proceed through the study.
Your score indicates you’re generally a patient person, but you have your weak moments. (In any assessment, we’re typically comparing our behavior to other humans–but God’s holiness sets the bar high!)
Here’s the good news: patience is also a fruit of the Spirit, so God can grow your patience as you walk with Him.
You can show greater love to your spouse by laying down the situations that irritate you. God invites you to shed impatience over the small (and large) stuff so you can love your spouse in a big way.
Your score indicates you frequently exhibit this fruit of the Spirit. There’s no way to predict how we’re going to react to disappointments in our lives, but you’re able to remain cool-headed most of the time. Way to go!
A tip: practicing patience at home includes patience with yourself. Oftentimes, we can feel “run over” when irritating situations arise. Finding healthy ways to express frustration without losing your cool could prevent a breakdown in the future.
Kindness
God constantly, actively works for our well-being (Romans 8:28). In this way, he shows his kindness toward us. In 1 Corinthians 13, the original word translated “kindness” has ties to gentleness, serving others, and benevolence.
Your score indicates you may struggle with kindness. Kindness shows up first within our thoughts and attitudes; Romans 12:9 reminds us, “Love must be genuine.” How will you actively work to move the well-being of others to top of mind?
For help, dive deep into session 3.
Your score indicates you experience both wins and losses when it comes to naturally showing kindness–though we know God’s kindness sets a high standard! Kindness shows up first within our thoughts and attitudes; Romans 12:9 reminds us, “Love must be genuine.” How will you actively work to move the well-being of others even more to top of mind?
For help, dive deep into session 3.
Your score indicates you work hard at kindness! Kindness shows up first within our thoughts and attitudes; Romans 12:9 reminds us, “Love must be genuine.” So that you can move increasingly toward holiness in this area, challenge yourself to evaluate the true motives beneath your kindnesses.
Start by asking questions like, “When I’m honest, what do I gain from this act of service?”
Humility
The Greek origin of “love is not arrogant” in 1 Corinthians 13:4 refers to a word also used for a painfully swollen organ or a set of bellows for the fire. Arrogance tends to inflate itself with accomplishments, approval, or what it has (power, control, possessions). It requires constant “hot air” to re-inflate itself following a slight…or simply a new day to prove our value.
This is contrary to Jesus’ substantive, solid work on the Cross–declaring Christ’s finished work, God’s approval, and our undeniable, unshakable worth.
Your score indicates you may find the need to “inflate” your worth through pride’s false security. Philippians 2:3 counsels, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” It’s this kind of love Jesus showed us in his death, and this kind of love that revolutionizes a marriage! Spend time examining where you most seek to find your worth outside of Jesus’ work for you–and becoming aware of how this keenly affects your spouse.
For extra help, keep an eye out for session 4.
Your score indicates you’re growing in humility!–but may occasionally find the need to “inflate” your worth through pride’s false security. Philippians 2:3 counsels, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” It’s this kind of love Jesus showed us in his death, and this kind of love that revolutionizes a marriage! Spend time examining where you most seek to find your worth outside of Jesus’ work for you–and becoming aware of how this keenly affects your spouse.
For extra help, keep an eye out for session 4.
Your score indicates you demonstrate continued humility toward your spouse. Great job! Continue to examine whether your humble actions stem from the appearance of humility, or from a growing satisfaction in Christ’s work, approval, and the worth he demonstrated for you. Genuine humility–revealed in those moments where we most feel ambushed–truly revolutionizes a marriage.
Generosity
First Corinthians 13:5 describes this quality of love with a fascinating, completely unnatural description of humans: Love does not demand its own way. Giving–rather than “seeking one’s own” (the direct translation of this verse)–runs completely contrary to our wiring from day one, save God’s image in us.
Generosity mirrors God–who didn’t even “spare His own son, but gave him up for us all”–so “how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32). Thus it fits that God speaks openly about his reward for generosity, and how much He “loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7).
Your score indicates you have room to grow in generosity. Take time to prayerfully examine what’s beneath any tight-fistedness with your time, resources, energy, talents, comfort, convenience, career, and future. Do they feel too limited to share? Is there a desire to punish your spouse? Are you struggling with good old-fashioned selfishness like the rest of us?!
For the next three weeks, see if you can make one sacrificial gesture to your spouse each day. You’ll have engaged in 21 acts of generosity–and just maybe have established a beautiful habit of love. Find extra help in session 5.
Your score indicates you experience both wins and losses in generosity. Take time to prayerfully examine what’s beneath any tight-fistedness with your time, resources, energy, talents, comfort, convenience, career, and future. Do they feel too limited to share? Is there a desire to punish your spouse? Are you struggling with good old-fashioned selfishness like the rest of us?!
For the next three weeks, see if you can make one sacrificial gesture to your spouse each day. You’ll have engaged in 21 acts of generosity–and just maybe have established a beautiful habit of love. Find extra help in session 5.
EasyGoing
God’s brand of love is one that’s resilient in the face of human weakness, and sin, bouncing back to kindness despite others’ failure. The original language of 1 Corinthians 13:5 elaborates that this love doesn’t have a sharp edge; it’s not easily provoked. It stays classy.
God shows us this unflappable love in the way his kindness leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4).
Your score suggests easygoing love could be a target area of growth. Maybe you struggle to receive and intimately know God’s graciousness yourself, or perhaps goals, agendas, or expectations make it hard to rebound.
Sure, it’s easy to blame others for the ways they provoke us. But as missionary Amy Carmichael once wrote, “A cup brimful of sweetness cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, no matter how suddenly jarred.” Observe what situations sap your easygoing love for the next two weeks–and ask God’s forgiveness and help for the ways you contribute. Look to session 6 for more ideas on this.
Your score suggests you’ve seen both wins and losses when it comes to easygoing love. Maybe you struggle to receive and intimately know God’s graciousness yourself, or perhaps goals, agendas, or expectations make it hard to rebound.
Sure, it’s easy to blame others for the ways they provoke us. But as missionary Amy Carmichael once wrote, “A cup brimful of sweetness cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, no matter how suddenly jarred.” Observe what situations sap this kind of love for the next two weeks–and ask God’s forgiveness and help for the ways you contribute. Look to session 6 for more ideas on this.
Virtuosity
“Love” in our world is so often mixed up with doing what you want. Or being true to yourself. Or feeling good. But the biblical brand of love is so much more robust than this–realizing sometimes we don’t want what’s good and best. Yet 1 Corinthians 13:6 articulates that real love can’t delight in any evil.
That’s tough, because sometimes it means the best for someone is counter to what they want. But virtuosity loves enough to not feed anyone’s personal idols or sins–which represent a cancer to the one indulging in them. There’s an element of love which must be grounded in a fierce love of justice for the beloved…even when the enemy is within them
Your score indicates this could be a good area to grow in. What might be keeping you from wanting more for your spouse, from courageously advocating for their long-term good? Sometimes this can arise from a desire to keep the peace, avoid rejection or disapproval, or simply hunger and thirst for God’s righteousness in your spouse (see Matthew 5:6).
Ask God to help you love His holiness even more than your spouse’s happiness. And check out session 7 for more help.
Your score indicates you’re familiar with both success and failure in this area. What might be keeping you from wanting more for your spouse, from courageously advocating for their long-term good? Sometimes this can arise from a desire to keep the peace, avoid rejection or disapproval, or simply hunger and thirst for God’s righteousness in your spouse (see Matthew 5:6).
Ask God to help you love His holiness even more than your spouse’s happiness. And check out session 7 for more help.
Honesty
Honesty can feel like a tricky part of love–especially in light of cultural values that love makes us feel good. And often truth…doesn’t. (Part of this is tied with the virtue of humility: our ability to tell the truth about who we are, seeing ourselves as no greater and no less than God says we are–and finding our value there.)
When 1 Corinthians 13:6 says love “rejoices in the truth”, the Greek word implies not only spoken truth, but living a reality of truth. This kind of truth means we’re sincere, loving uprightness, living in reality rather than illusion, and straightforward rather than cagey or shrewd. If a spouse asks our opinion on their clothing or their response in a social situation–are we “naked and unashamed” with each other?
To put it another way: Can your spouse 100% trust you?
Your score indicates this can be a challenge for you–to be completely truthful. Often, it’s our own fear or values that subvert our honesty: We want to be encouraging. We hate conflict. We’re afraid of how the truth will rock our world. We’re afraid of a spouse’s reaction. Dig beneath situations where you struggle to be honest–and ask God to help you unflinchingly walk in the light, trusting Him with your fear (see John 1:5-6). And don’t miss session 8, which could bring some help in this area.
Your score indicates complete truth is a value with which you experience both success and failure. Often, it’s our own fear or values that subvert our honesty: We want to be encouraging. We hate conflict. We’re afraid of how the truth will rock our world. We’re afraid of a spouse’s reaction.
Dig beneath situations where you struggle to be honest–and ask God to help you unflinchingly walk in the light, trusting Him with your fear (see John 1:5-6). And don’t miss session 8, which could bring some help in this area.
The good news: It sounds like you share God’s value of honesty in the way you love. That’s great! If a spouse asks our opinion on their clothing or their response in a social situation–perhaps you’re establishing a value of being “naked and unashamed” with each other–and your spouse can truly trust you.
Keep pressing on in a virtue our world doesn’t always appreciate. Ask God to continue to help you speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).
Tenacity
This kind of love is what we’ll call “bulldog love”–love with grit, that digs in and doesn’t let go. It “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7).
But even with all that love-driven ferocity, love “believing all things” ≠ “love is naive.” Somehow, love manages to completely tell the truth…and completely avoid cynicism, for the sake of hopefulness; optimism. This kind of love isn’t even always faith in your spouse–as much as it is in a God who redeems, restores, and makes all things new.
Your score indicates tenacity may be a good area in which to grow. What might be keeping you from this kind of unrelenting, undaunted, persevering love and belief? Spend time praying about the doubt or lack of resilience you’ve sensed in your love. Ask God to grow in you the kind of love that endures forever (see Psalm 136). Check out session 9 for more thoughts on tenacious love.
Your score indicates tenacity is an area of strength at some times–and weakness in others. What might be keeping you from this kind of unrelenting, undaunted, persevering love and belief? Spend time praying about the doubt or lack of resilience you’ve sensed in your love. Ask God to grow in you the kind of love that endures forever (see Psalm 136). Check out session 9 for more thoughts on tenacious love.
Resiliency
Resilient love is one that keeps bouncing back–keeps choosing the hard work of love. As 1 Corinthians 13:8 puts it, “Love never ends.” It doesn’t back off or back down; it isn’t so over this. In fact, resilient love defines itself by how it responds to hardship, loss, sin, grief, even betrayal. It is love with muscle, that keeps reaching toward.
This kind of resilience is fueled by its own experience with God’s filling, never-stopping love. It’s modeled after and replenished by a God who, despite us being enemies, went the distance to bring us close. He goes after his lost son, his lost sheep (see Luke 15). Resilient love models what God did for us in giving Jesus (see Romans 5:8). It’s Jesus granting Peter a catch of fish and making him breakfast on the beach after Peter’s betrayal (see John 21).
Your score indicates this kind of love may be tough for you. Spend time examining what past experiences–or a lack of love yourself–might influence a desire to let go. In the next three weeks, when difficulty or sin creates distance between you and your spouse or another loved one, pray about how God would have you love them with an undeserved kindness far greater than what’s between you. Dig deep into session 10 for more help.
Your score indicates this kind of love is something you do well–and sometimes, not so much. Spend time examining what past experiences–or a lack of love yourself–might influence a desire to let go. In the next three weeks, when difficulty or sin creates distance between you and your spouse or another loved one, pray about how God would have you love them with an undeserved kindness far greater than what’s between you. Dig deep into session 10 for more help.
IMPORTANT:
For your results to properly save, first expand the percentage ranges that apply to your score in every category. The “Save Results as PDF” button will only save a screenshot of whatever results are expanded.
Is your spouse’s turn to take the assessment?
Click the “Restart Quiz” button!
IMPORTANT:
For your results to properly save, first expand the percentage ranges that apply to your score in every category. The “Save Results as PDF” button will only save a screenshot of whatever results are expanded below.
Is your spouse’s turn to take the assessment?
Click the “Restart Quiz” button!
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Question 1 of 33
1. Question
1. I tend to remind my spouse or partner of their responsibilities a lot.
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Question 2 of 33
2. Question
2. Waiting for a reply from my spouse or partner is difficult.
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Question 3 of 33
3. Question
3. In conversation, I struggle to pay attention to topics I’m not interested in.
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Question 4 of 33
4. Question
4. When I help my spouse or partner with something I don’t expect them to return the favor.
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Question 5 of 33
5. Question
5. Oftentimes, I will anticipate the needs of my spouse or partner and meet them without prompting.
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Question 6 of 33
6. Question
6. When my spouse or partner makes mistakes, I think it could happen to anybody; including me.
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Question 7 of 33
7. Question
7. When my spouse or partner proves I’m wrong, it’s difficult to accept it.
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Question 8 of 33
8. Question
8. Certain tasks are beneath me.
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Question 9 of 33
9. Question
9. I know my strengths and weaknesses well.
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Question 10 of 33
10. Question
10. Oftentimes, I give in to my spouse or partner’s preferences for small decisions.
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Question 11 of 33
11. Question
11. When I have margin in my schedule, I let my spouse or partner know in case they need anything.
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Question 12 of 33
12. Question
12. I make sacrifices for my spouse or partner.
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Question 13 of 33
13. Question
13. I try to be calm and understanding with people who offend me.
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Question 14 of 33
14. Question
14. When I’m proven right, I’m likely to say “I told you so” to my spouse or partner.
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Question 15 of 33
15. Question
15. My spouse or partner would say I don’t use their mistakes as an excuse to be angry.
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Question 16 of 33
16. Question
16. Sometimes, I find it difficult to know the right thing to do.
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Question 17 of 33
17. Question
17. There is no such thing as absolute right or absolute wrong.
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Question 18 of 33
18. Question
18. Most of the time I choose to do what feels right to me.
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Question 19 of 33
19. Question
19. There have been moments in my relationship where my spouse or partner lost trust in me.
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Question 20 of 33
20. Question
20. Depending on the situation, it’s okay to lie.
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Question 21 of 33
21. Question
21. When I’ve done something hurtful or wrong, I try to make it known to my spouse or partner.
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Question 22 of 33
22. Question
22. I have difficulty maintaining enthusiasm in my relationship.
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Question 23 of 33
23. Question
23. When I face trials, I find it easy to to stay motivated.
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Question 24 of 33
24. Question
24. I like to work out relationship problems with my spouse or partner.
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Question 25 of 33
25. Question
25. When changes occur, I find it difficult to adapt.
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Question 26 of 33
26. Question
26. When I’m feeling sad, afraid, or angry I find healthy ways to express those feelings.
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Question 27 of 33
27. Question
27. I believe I can achieve my goals, even if there are obstacles.
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Question 28 of 33
28. Question
28. Please indicate the degree of happiness, all things considered, of your relationship.
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Question 29 of 33
29. Question
29. I have a warm and comfortable relationship with my spouse or partner.
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Question 30 of 33
30. Question
30. How rewarding is your relationship with your partner?
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Question 31 of 33
31. Question
31. In general, how satisfied are you with your relationship?
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Question 32 of 33
32. Question
32. My belief in God gives my life meaning.
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Question 33 of 33
33. Question
33. I have a close relationship with God.