Breaking the Chains of Bondage
guest: Lauren Chandler | Series: Steadfast Love | Wife and mom Lauren Chandler talks honestly about the chains that often bind us. Whether a religious chain, wounds from our past, or an addiction, Chandler tells how God can break those chains and help us walk free into a hopeful future. She also reflects on her own chains of a disordered desire and the steps she took to find freedom.
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About the Guest
Lauren Chandler
Lauren Chandler is a worshipper of God – whether it is through song, studying the Bible or loving others. She loves encouraging others and her family to worship Him in all of life. Her first book, Steadfast Love (B&H Publishing, January 2016), is yet another way for her to offer worship to God.
Her husband, Matt Chandler, serves as the lead teaching pastor at The Village Church in the Dallas-Fort Worth, Texas area, one of the fastest growing churches in the United States, with campuses in Flower Mound, North Dallas, Denton, Fort Worth and Plano.
Lauren is passionate about writing, music and leading worship, not only at The Village Church, but also for groups across the country. She’s already garnered a Dove nomination, and her debut album, The Narrow Place, released in 2012.
But if you think life has always been easy for her, think again. Since 2009, shortly after the birth of her third child, her 35-year-old husband Matt was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. Lauren and her husband have traversed surgery, seizures, and chemotherapy. She also has personally faced miscarriages and depression. Yet through it all, her passion to worship Christ has only grown.
A native Texan, she spends her days leaning into the peace she finds worshipping God whether in front of her piano, on horseback or in the midst of a full life. She also leans into the privilege of parenting her three children, Audrey, Reid and Norah.
See more online, www.LaurenChandler.com.
Episode Transcript
Bob: What’s a husband going to feel if he’s married to a wife who’s got that chain? What are the kids going to feel if their mommy’s got that chain? What kind of environment does that create in a home that starts to spill out and affect the lives of others?
Lauren: I’m sure no one’s going to feel “enough.” It’s going to be a lot of criticism / there’s not going to be a lot of grace there.
Bob: “I’ve got to be perfect; and you do too.”
Lauren: Yes!
Bob: That’s what you’re hearing in your mind and saying to your husband and your kids?
Lauren: Yes; or I think mine was a little different in that: “I’ve got to be perfect. I’ve got to be the perfect mom. I’ve got to manage you so much so that you’re behavior shows that I’m perfect.”
Bob: Yes.
Lauren: Maybe it’s not really that I want perfection from them. I want to be such a perfect mom, or such a perfect wife, that whatever your life reflects back to me is who I am—if that makes sense.
Bob: Yes.
Dennis: You’re talking about one of the most powerful tools God uses to convict us of our own selfishness—
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Lauren: Yes!
Dennis: —brokenness and sinfulness—children! [Laughter]
Lauren: Yes!
Dennis: I mean, I’ve made this statement multiple times—Barbara and I thought God gave us six kids to raise them. He actually is finishing the process right now—of us having tried to raise them and us seeing our own brokenness in our kids—
Lauren: Absolutely.
Dennis: —and going back to God and saying: “Would you take us and use us for Your purposes? Help us to put our faith in the right place.”
Lauren: Yes.
Dennis: That’s what your book is all about—Steadfast Love—putting your faith in the right place. It’s got an anchor on the cover. If our listeners haven’t read Psalm 107—it begins with a powerful statement, and it ends with one. I’ll read you the first verse and the last verse: “Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever!” And then it concludes—43 verses later—with this:
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“Whoever is wise, let him attend to these things; let them consider the steadfast love of the LORD.” I think God’s trying to get our attention. [Laughter]
Lauren: I think so!
Dennis: The steadfast love of the LORD is where you find the stability and security.
Bob: Are you still doing battle, in your own soul, with a desire to want to be perfect?
Lauren: If definitely raises its ugly head, every now and then; but it doesn’t hold its power like it did. Although I still wrestle, I’ve gotten a lot of victory over it.
Bob: Where has that come from? What is it that you’re telling yourself that’s true?—that is causing that perfection monster to get back in his cage?
Lauren: Yes; that I’m so dearly loved by a good God.
Dennis: If I had known you when you were carrying the chains, I wouldn’t have been able to have spotted you carrying those chains; would I?
Lauren: No.
Dennis: But inside—what were you feeling?
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Was it just a tension / a weight?
Lauren: Yes; it was a heaviness. It was just almost like a black hole of: “Please tell me I’m enough! Please tell me that I’m worth something.” That’s what it felt like—was just this black-hole heaviness, just sucking everything in.
Dennis: If that’s the listener—what he or she needs to do right now—is find the steadfast love of the Lord and begin to experience it. I’ve got to believe, Bob, that a book like what Lauren has written will be a great benefit.
Thanks for joining us on the broadcast. Hope you’ll come back again—
Lauren: Thank you.
Dennis: —and take us back to the Anchor as well.
Lauren: Alright.
Bob: Yes; this is a book that I think will help a lot of listeners refocus their hearts and minds on where our focus ought to be—on the Anchor of our soul. It’s called Steadfast Love: The Response of God to the Cries of our Heart. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY.
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Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. Our number is 1-800-358-6329—1-800-“F” as in family, “L” as in life, and then the word, “TODAY.” Ask about the book, Steadfast Love, from Lauren Chandler when you get in touch with us.
You know, when we have conversations like this, our hope / our goal is that we will connect with listeners at significant and strategic points in their own lives, where something they hear—a conversation on FamilyLife Today—can be used by God in their lives to bring about a paradigm shift—a realignment or a rearranging of their lives. Our goal, here, at FamilyLife is to see every home become a godly home. We want to effectively develop godly marriages and families; because we believe godly marriages and families can change the world, one home at a time.
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We’re grateful for those of you who partner with us in helping get this message into the ears, and the hearts, and the hands of more people—not only in our country—but around the world. Thank you for extending the reach of FamilyLife Today. When you donate to support this ministry, your donations go directly to providing practical biblical help and hope for marriages and families. We’re grateful for the partnership with those of you who do support the ministry.
We would love to send you a thank-you gift this month when you’re able to help with a donation of any amount—it is Dennis Rainey’s brand-new book—it’s called Choosing a Life That Matters. It’s about the core issues that all of us have to come to grips with if we’re going to have a strong marriage / a strong family. There are some foundational spiritual principles that we’ve got to grapple with and really come to grips with in our own lives. We’d love to send you a copy of Choosing a Life That Matters from Dennis Rainey. You can make a donation of any amount, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate.
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Or you can mail your donation to FamilyLife Today at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.
Now, tomorrow, we want to talk about: “What is the essence of womanhood?” When God created men and women, He created us different—that’s more than just biology. We’ll talk about what the differences are tomorrow. I hope you can tune in for that.
I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I’m Bob Lepine. We will see back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.
FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.
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