Real Relationships Get Messy: Brant Hanson & Sherri Lynn

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FamilyLife Today® with Dave and Ann Wilson – Web Version Transcript

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Real Relationships Get Messy: Brant Hansen & Sherri Lynn on the Gift of Honest Friends

Guests:Brant Hansen and Sherri Lynn

From the series:Reel Relationships Get Messy: The Unexpected Gift of Honest Friends (Day 1 of 2)

Air date:July 13, 2026

Dave (00:04):

So one of the hardest things in my life is hosting a radio show with my wife over here.

Ann (00:10):

What? What are you talking about?

Dave (00:13):

No, I think it’s awesome. I just say it-it’s interesting. I never know what you’re going to say. You never know what I’m going to say.

Ann:

But it’s the hardest?

Dave:

It isn’t hard at all. It’s just wonderful, but it’s sometimes it’s like—

Ann (00:23):

You just went from one to the other.

Dave (00:24):

Well, I wouldn’t say hard. Well, yeah. Well, here we are. This is what happens right now.

Ann (00:35):

Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I’m Ann Wilson.

Dave (00:41):

And I’m Dave Wilson and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is FamilyLife Today.

We’ve got two people in our studio that do this every day. They host a radio show. Brant Hansen, Sherri Lynn are in here together.

Ann (01:02):

And Sherri, you’re the producer of the show.

Sherri (01:04):

I am. I am. So I put everything together, such that it is and produce the podcast and everything.

Brant (01:10):

Yeah. I prep the show. So it’s called The Brant Hansen Show and there’s a reason for that. We could call it Brant and Sherri, but we like calling it The Brant Hansen Show because—

Ann (01:18):

Yeah, why is that, Brant?

Dave (01:19):

Because you’re pretty selfish, and you like to star.

Sherri (01:21):

No, no.

Brant (01:21):

No, that’s not how it works. They call it The Andy Griffith Show. We know who the star was, right?

Dave:

Yeah. Right.

Sherri (01:26):

Are you calling me Barney? Because that’s an interesting way to turn this conversation.

Brant (01:31):

I think I am, I’m sorry.

Sherri (01:31):

Okay, that’s fine. All right.

Brant (01:33):

But it was an analogy.

Sherri (01:34):

Barney Lynn, everyone.

Brant (01:35):

Yeah. But I like the fact that I’m doing the prep, and I’m an odd guy, right? So she has to respond in real-time to what I’ve brought to the table. So it’s like The Muppet Show kind of thing, where it’s mostly you see through the show. So they’re trotting things out on stage that are failing, but you see it behind the scenes. I like that vibe where it’s like, here’s this guy trying to do a show and his producer’s trying to help him.

Sherri (02:03):

And he explained that to me when we first met, during the interview, and he said, “Muppet Show.” And I said, “Oh, like Scooter.” Scooter’s the one with the headset and clipboard. And he was like, “Exactly.” And I think that’s where all, “Okay, this show’s going to work.”

Ann:

You get it.

Brant (02:17):

She understands me. So yeah, that’s a huge part of it.

Dave (02:20):

Now, how’d you two end up together? How’d this come together?

Brant (02:23):

I wanted to be a news guy originally and just kind of mutated into be hosting a show. She applied for a position to help me, so we Skyped. She had never left Pittsburgh. She’s from there. When we Skyped, my boss was with me, and Sherri and I hit it off. We just started laughing about stuff. I had never talked to her before, but it was just an instant like, “Wait, I get this.” And we have very similar background, even though she’s black, I’m white; she’s single, I’m married. Very similar church, in an analogous way, like similar experiences, similar kind of stuff.

Sherri (03:02):

Both have a brother.

Brant (03:02):

Both have a brother. We both developed this kind of strange senses of humor.

Ann (03:06):

Sherri, what is your background? Fill us in.

Sherri (03:09):

I started out when I went to college, I wanted to do film and then somebody let me in a radio station on the college campus, and I was sold. That’s all I wanted to do. Nothing else. And make things. I like to make things. So I would make dramas. I would do different voices. I’d bring people in, let them do voices, put this big dramatic thing together. I love that. That’s why producing is really up my alley.

Dave:

Yeah, it sounds like you were producing then.

Sherri:

Oh my goodness. I love it.

Ann:

And you’re creative, it sounds like.

Sherri:

I love, love, love, love, love making things. Love making things.

Dave (03:39):

Now, when you came to The Brant Hansen Show, were you just going to produce and not be on air, or was it always a little of both?

Sherri (03:44):

No, I tell the story where they explained to me that this was not an on-air position, and they kept saying that and I was like, “Okay, that’s fine.” Because I had been through so much in my career, not great stuff, that I prayed to God, “If you just put me with somebody humble and smart, then I’ll serve.” And I did not go there thinking I was going to be on the air, but he always thought; he tells me he always—

Ann (04:09):

You had that in your mind at the beginning, Brant?

Brant (04:11):

Absolutely. I wanted to be a sidekick. I never wanted to be a host. So having another person on the air, to me, is a huge help and this is huge. This is why so many team radio shows are so horrible, honestly. They don’t listen, but if you’re on with somebody who listens to what you just said and then can respond to it—

Dave (04:30):

Yeah.

Brant (04:30):

—well that’s wonderful. But if it’s just two people that have their own agendas and I want to say this, I’m going to be funny. No, I’m going to say this. I’m going to be funny. It’s like neither of you are funny.

Ann (04:39):

And we can all feel that you’re trying to one up each other, right?

Sherri (04:42):

And he reminded me so much, and still does, of my brother, which is a real dry sense of humor. It’s very funny to me, and so sometimes I’ll jump the gun and laugh because I know where we’re going. And so then people think, “Oh, well she’s just laughing because—” It’s funny to me because I know where it’s going and it’s so dry. I just know the sense of humor so well that we just mesh together.

Ann (05:06):

Because you said earlier when we were having lunch that if something’s not funny to you, you don’t laugh.

Sherri (05:11):

No, I told you guys that I was demoted and taken off the air with the—and it was a morning show. I was taken off the air because I would not laugh. The host would say things that he thought was funny and that he clearly thought that I should think was funny and I didn’t think it was funny. And so he would give us space. So he was like— And it would be a pause, and I would just sit there and then he would sheepishly come back in and then go into a song, and my program director would call and say, “Sherri, you got to laugh. Try to laugh.” And I said, “It’s not funny to me. None of it is funny to me.” And they took me off the air. So I said, “I’ve lost money for not laughing, so I’m not making it up.”

Ann:

So your laughter is authentic.

Sherri (05:53):

It’s authentic.

Dave (05:54):

Yeah. I was going to say, you must think Brant’s funny because one of the things I love about your show is your laugh.

Sherri:

Thank you.

Dave:

It’s joy-giving.

Brant (06:00):

We’re glad you think that and it is joy-giving. For some people, at first, “What is happening?” They’re listening. “I hate you guys.” That’s their response. “I hate, hate, hate you.” I just got one yesterday. We get these all the time. “I hated you guys at first, but now I like—

Ann (06:16):

“You’ve worn on me.”

Brant (06:17):

Right. And yeah, “Now I love you, but boy, did I hate you.” That always still stings a little bit. I’m like, “You hated me?”

Dave:

I bet.

Brant:

But I understand, because we don’t sound like typical radio people. I’m on the spectrum. I’ve been diagnosed with high-functioning autism. I do sound different on the air, and my choice of topics are a little bit like, “Wow, that was deeper than we expected.” Or “kind of blunt.”

Sherri (06:40):

Now we’re blowing up a planet. How did we go from there to that?

Brant (06:44):

Right and this random sense of humor that’s so far-out, sci-fi. I know I sound different. She comes in with this boisterous laugh. She’s got totally different sensibilities than me when it comes to like just background and stuff and her family and my family. So it’s really exciting how it meshes, but at first, it’s really bracing to people.

Sherri (07:01):

And it was bracing to me when people would say—when we started—they were like, “Oh, I love your laugh” or “I hate your laugh.” I had never considered my laugh ever.

Ann:

Really?

Sherri:

Because my whole family laughs like this. I never once thought that it was anything unique or different about it. It’s just the way I laugh. And one time we went to his house, I think it was the first time my family visited me in California.

Ann (07:21):

And your family’s close.

Sherri (07:22):

We are very close. And we’re very loud. Very, very loud. And so I said to him, “Look, I’m bringing some energy to your house that’s going to be different than what you’re used to.” And he’s like, “No, it’s okay.” So they just from the door just literally, “Aaaaaahh” They’ve never met him. “Aaaaaahh! Aaaahhh!” and he said that the next day, his neighbor said they were having a party, and he never heard them.

Brant (07:46):

There were young people having a party. They said, “We had to shut the windows because whatever was going on over at your house.” And it was just her family being joyful or just being joyous.

Ann (07:54):

I want to hang out with your family.

Brant:

I know, it’s totally fun.

Sherri:

They are fun to hang out.

Brant:

And our house is like the library.

Dave (07:58):

Well, how about the white man, black woman thing, how’s that work? That is a beautiful thing.

Brant (08:05):

It’s a great thing. It’s helped me immensely. Whenever you have relationships with people, whatever their sensibilities are, you start to own. So that’s been really helpful. I think it’s been instructive, too, and you can obviously address this from your angle, probably way more interesting. But for me, it’s so nice to just have a shared project that’s a kingdom thing because it’s one thing to say, let’s get together and talk about race. Let’s have some black people and some white people—

Sherri (08:34):

Yeah, we’ll come to a table that’s round.

Brant:

Let’s dialogue.

Sherri:

It’s always a round table. Maybe if y’all start talking at square tables, we can get something together. But it’s a round table.

Brant (08:44):

Let’s just dialogue. And I guess that’s okay, but it’s like, no, let’s do stuff together, shoulder to shoulder. I’m sure you experienced this with athletics. There’s something bonding about “Our coach just yelled at all of us,” or “We’ve got this common thing that we’re working on together.” And then, in the process, you work through stuff, but you’re on each other’s side. So it’s the shoulder-to-shoulder thing. For us, it’s a daily having to work so it’s not even a—I don’t know, you should talk about it, too.

Sherri (09:12):

Well, no, it’s something that you talked about in your book, where knowledge doesn’t change people’s hearts; relationship does. And so I lived as a lot of African Americans do, which I always say we parachute into the majority quote unquote world. So we live in our community and then we parachute in and we work and then we go back to our community, right? But we think we know—I’ll say me—I think I know more than I actually do, because I didn’t have any actual friends that were white, if I can be honest. I learned a lot of stuff in history and all that and then you think you know, right? Because I read this book, and this book is majority about white people, right? So I’m like, “Okay, yeah, then I know now.” But then, when the relationship comes, that’s different. And so then, when people start to say things, it’s like, “Wait a minute, you’re talking about my brother.”

(10:07):

You know what I mean? That’s different now. We’re like, “Don’t they all—” Wait, no, my brother doesn’t do that. My brother doesn’t say that. My brother doesn’t think that. But that comes from relationship and it comes from us. Sometimes we have not done a show. We come into the studio and something’s going on in the world, or something has blown up racially. We’ll put best of material on, and we have to talk it through.

Brant (10:30):

We argue for two hours, and you go, “You know what? Tomorrow’s going to be a best of.”

Sherri (10:36):

We don’t have the energy to do the show, but man, I wish I could give that to people.

Brant (10:42):

Yeah.

Ann (10:43):

Well, you trust each other enough to be able to have that dialogue.

Sherri (10:47):

Yes.

Brant (10:47):

Well right. So that’s just it. It’s like you have to be engaged in mission together. If we just got together every week, even if it’d been over 10 years, be like, “Let’s talk about race issues.” That’s doomed. But we’re working together, as part of one body, to be a blessing to people.

Ann (11:07):

And Brant, you’re not only working together, one of the things you said over lunch, Sherri, was that your family’s super close.

Brant:

Oh, totally.

Sherri:

We are.

Ann:

And so you left them, and now you’re living in Florida. At the time, no family members were there, but you said something; you said, “Brant’s family has become my family.”

Sherri (11:23):

Yeah, they were my family. That’s all I had. When I left Pittsburgh, I took the job, and I had—I’m not married. I don’t have kids. It was just me. And so I would just go over to their house sometimes. I’d pop—my family is a pop-in family and then just in and we’re there till we feel like we want to leave, right? I didn’t do that, but I would pop in. They were so gracious and wonderful and—

Ann (11:45):

He was more than a coworker.

Sherri (11:47):

Oh, absolutely. That’s my brother.

Dave:

Well, you just called him your brother.

Sherri (11:49):

He is my brother. My mother calls him her son. My mother was in the hospital, and she knew Brant was going to be on Good Morning, America. She told every single person on that floor—every nurse’s aide, every nurse, every doctor that came in—”My son is going to be on Good Morning, America. If y’all want to watch it, y’all can come in the room with me, and we’re going to watch it together.” And so it never dawned on me that a white man’s face was going to pop up there and this is just very African American woman sitting in this bed.

Brant (12:20):

The anchor was black.

Sherri (12:21):

Yeah. And so they—

Brant (12:22):

So he was interviewing me.

Sherri (12:23):

She’s like, “Is that your son?” They were like, “No.” And then they put his face up. She’s like, “There he is.” They’re like, “Did you adopt him?” So my mother thinks very much of him as her son, and sometimes, I’ll go to work and she’ll be riding with me because she wants to drive somewhere else, and she’ll say, “Tell my son to come down and give me a hug.” And he’ll come down and give her a hug.

Ann:

I want to be in your family.

Brant:

It’s the sweetest thing.

Sherri:

It’s just again, I wish I could give this to people because this is the actual work. Relationship is the actual work. It is. And if you can get to that in a place where we both say, “Jesus is Lord,” and Calvary is the central thing for both of us, not anything else. Not identity, not politics, not all of that stuff.

(13:09):

Calvary is the central thing for both of us, and we’re working in mission together. It is just the sweetest thing.

Brant (13:16):

The way we talk about it, too, is it’s like—and we would hope that the entire body of Christ would talk about it would be—it’s Calvary is the last word. But people talk about Calvary, but this issue. Yes, Calvary but this other thing. Calvary but we need to discuss this. I’m like, no, no. It’s that issue, but Calvary.

Ann (13:37):

That’s it.

Brant (13:38):

Yeah, that’s a real issue. We should talk about it, but Calvary happened. That has to matter. And if that’s the basis, we’ve got hope because it’s like, yeah, maybe my side’s messed up, your side’s messed up. Maybe I said this wrong or you said that wrong. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And maybe I need to pay more attention to this, or you need to pay more attention. Okay, right. But calvary happened.

Sherri (14:02):

And that’s how we stay together.

(14:04):

That’s how we stay connected, right? And so I never have to pretend like something isn’t happening. I never have to pretend like something didn’t hurt or something I saw doesn’t sting or like, man, how do I get past that? That’s why we can go in the studio. That’s why we can talk about it because of Calvary. I don’t have to act like it didn’t happen. Yes, it did. And yes, it does hurt, but what glues us together is supposed to be for the body of Christ, glues us together is, I mean, I don’t even know if it’s popular to say anymore, but it’s the blood of Jesus, right?

Brant (14:33):

It’s interesting too because your heart does tend toward people you have relationships with, to defend them, for instance. “That’s my friend you’re talking about.” So an interesting dynamic of that is—so we talk on mostly, we’re on a lot of stations, mostly white people listening, because we’re playing CCM, Nashville music on these stations. But now they know Sherri—the listeners—so even if they’re in an all-white type of situation, they’ve got no relationships—and we hear from people like this too, where like before they had this knee-jerk reaction to certain things, but now they’re inclined—

Ann (15:06):

They have a relationship with Sherri.

Brant (15:08):

Right. So if they hear Sherri say something and maybe, “That’s my friend. I have to listen to that.” It’s really interesting. It’s a very sweet dynamic that can happen there because radio is so relational that people now, it is a friendship. We’re being honest on the air and vulnerable, so people do feel like it’s a friendship, but they grant Sherri that space. If she says something that they wouldn’t have agreed with before, but now it’s like, “But that’s Sherri. She’s got a point.”

Dave (15:34):

And in some ways, you are going to represent, just like you’re going to represent white, your voice is going to represent, “Well, that’s sort of how white people think.” Although it’s not true, but you’re going to represent “That’s how a person of color thinks. I can validate that because I like her and she represents—”

Brant (15:49):

If they don’t know anybody and there’s no person in their life, that they just have what was just fed to them on the news or the worst behavior of the worst people in the world, good grief.

Sherri (16:00):

Which is what everybody has, regardless of race. We’re segregated now as far as just isolation. We don’t have those friendships. We don’t have those relationships. So we always talk about a gracious place to fall, like say something and be like, “Oh, that didn’t come out right or whoa.” I remember I tell the story of how I made a social media post about some black film or something. I thought it was just rip-roaring hilarious, guys. It was just, to me, it was the funniest thing ever, and everybody, family, friends, “Yeah, go ahead girl,” whatever. And he screenshot it, and he sent it to me, and he said, “This makes me sad.” And then, as soon as I saw it, I read it like he would have read it, and I was like, “Oh,

(16:47):

I am so sorry.” Now I can dig in my heels and be like, “Well then you get off your high horse.” Well, I can do that if I want to, right? We can do that, but that’s my brother. And I saw what he saw. I was like, “Okay, that—” Because a lot of times we’re posting things, we’re doing things, to our little corner of the world, our little group of people, right? But when you expand that net, then you start thinking, and then if you don’t think, you have that relationship where someone’s like, “Here’s how I see that.” And then I’m like, “You know what? That’s legit,” and just take it down. Why? I’m sorry. That was wrong. I’m sorry.

Dave (17:23):

I was preaching years ago, and I made a comment in a sermon, something along the lines of another religious belief. And I said, “Can you believe people actually believe that?” and went on. Guy came up—this was actually back in the days when you did skits.

Sherri (17:39):

Yeah.

Dave (17:40):

We’d do them live sometimes. He was an actor, and very good. He comes up to me in the green room and goes, “Hey, can I say something to you?” “Sure, man. What’s up, man? Hey, we’re brothers.” He goes, “That was really offensive what you said about some people, can you believe they believe that, like they’re idiots?” I go, “Well, yeah. I mean, can you believe people be that?” He goes, “My mom believes that.”

Sherri (18:00):

Wow.

Dave (18:00):

And “I’m thinking of bringing her next week. She’ll never come to this church. Do you understand how offensive that is?” “You are a thousand percent right.” I’m tearing right now. I was like, “Thank you for pointing that out.”

Sherri (18:11):

See, but those relationships.

Dave:

But that’s what you guys are doing for each other.

Sherri:

Yeah, you have a gracious place to fall. Man, I fell there and then you just get the—I always tell him I let him fall, and then when he gets up, I punch him in the mouth, and he falls again and then gets up.

Brant (18:28):

But it’s a gracious place to be. I had a guy who was older than me. He heard me say something on the air. Immediately after this morning show I was on—I was trying to be funny. I can’t remember what I said—he calls me and he’s like, “Don’t ever let me hear you say something like that again. That was disappointing. You made fun of people. They didn’t deserve that.”

Ann (18:43):

And Brant, you’re live, right?

Brant (18:45):

Yes. But he’s called me after the show.

Ann (18:48):

Right, I know, but it would be hard.

Brant (18:48):

Yes; it had gone out there. He said, “Hansen, you’re better than that. I love you. Bye.” And I got off the phone, and the weirdest thing happened, honestly. That stung, but—

Ann (19:02):

Thank you.

Brant (19:02):

—that feels pretty good. In the strangest way because it’s like, I know that guy loves me. We have a relationship. And when you are in a relationship with people, you can actually have that. You can sort through this stuff together.

Dave (19:16):

Right. One of the reasons, Brant—I didn’t know you the first time we brought you in, and we were talking about the men we need. You wrote the forward.

Ann:

Sherri wrote.

Dave (19:28):

Sherri wrote a forward to endorse. I remember reading that and going, “Okay, he’s the real deal.” That’s what you said.

Sherri (19:32):

Oh, that’s sweet.

Dave (19:33):

Because you basically said, do you remember?

Sherri (19:35):

I remember saying that I told him to write the book because I saw men responding to him and I knew that I grew up with my own issues with my father who was very abusive and went through a lot. I said, “If this weren’t the real deal, I wouldn’t be working with him. And if he dared write a book, I’d burn down the whole studio. I’m not just leaving. I’m making sure you can’t do anything.”

Dave (20:07):

I specifically remember you saying, “I’ve been in his home, what he writes here, he lives.” I’m like, “Done, let’s go.”

Sherri (20:13):

And that I saw his daughter and his wife were safe and I never knew that growing up. And so I remember because I always felt from my own point of view and my own background that the measure of a man when I saw him was how his daughter looked at him. So if she looked at him and she had even an ounce of fear, I felt like we should all be afraid, right? But if she looked at him and I saw safety in her eyes, then I knew he was trustworthy. So the minute I walked in his house, and I saw Julia look at him, I was like, “All right, well we’re okay.” And that was probably like what, first few days of working with him.

Ann (20:52):

Has there been some healing in you as you have watched him with his kids?

Sherri (20:57):

I think there’s been healing with him and if I’m honest, there’s been so much healing watching my actual brother with his girls and knowing how we grew up.

Ann (21:08):

He’s a good dad.

Sherri (21:09):

It’s hard to put into words.

Brant (21:10):

Five stars.

Sherri (21:11):

Yeah.

Brant (21:12):

He’s unbelievable and I admire her brother as well because when you’re both from this background where you’re afraid when your dad comes home, or “I hope he doesn’t, I just need some peace,” where I think you see that car pull up, it’s “Ugh”.

(21:30):

So you live out the opposite of that, right? As a guy, he’s like, “That’s not going to happen to my—” So being able to come home and your kid’s like, “Daddy!” They’re excited like, what’s the next joke going to be? What’s the next fun thing? And like I told you guys, they’ll listen to our podcast, my kids will listen to the podcast, but that’s—her brother is the exact opposite of what they had gone through, and complete respect and his daughters feel totally safe with him and so yeah, very amazing to watch.

Sherri (22:03):

I saw my little niece, she’s so delightful and I told my brother, “If I could have had you as a dad, I could have been delightful.”

Brant (22:12):

Could have been; to think what might have been.

Sherri (22:14):

What might have been is a big picture there.

Brant (22:16):

So close.

Ann (22:17):

I think you’re pretty delightful.

Sherri:

Oh well.

Ann (22:23):

Your kids are fighting again. Somebody spilled something sticky. The coffee’s cold and suddenly you’re angry before 9 AM. If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I keep reacting this way?” you’re not alone.

Dave (22:39):

We’ve got author and mom of four, Janelle Breitenstein. She did a five session video series designed just for you moms to help you get to the root of your anger. And let me tell you, Janelle has brutal honesty, humor, biblical truth and practical help and she explores triggers, fears, and whether anger could ever be godly and why our kids bring out so much in us.

Ann (23:03):

We all need this. So sign up free at FamilyLife.com/MomAnger.

Dave (23:13):

Something that hit me about—we’re a marriage and family show—when you talked about how the diversity works for you—white, black, together—you said it’s not because we’re talking about race, it’s because we’re doing something together. I thought in marriage we do the same thing. It’s like, I want to change him, so I’m going to focus on changing him. I’m going to change her. Get on mission together as a married couple. Get your focus outward on extending the kingdom of God. By the way, that’s God’s mission for your marriage anyway. You’ll love each other because you’ll be doing something together rather than trying to focus on this, focus on something bigger than this. Am I right?

Brant:

Yeah.

Dave:

It’s something that just hit me when I watch what you’re doing.

Brant (23:50):

It’s true of friendships, church stuff, too. If it’s just about getting together and talking over and over and over, okay; there’s nothing like being shoulder-to-shoulder actually doing something together, engaged in a mission. That’s co-mission. That’s great.

Ann (24:05):

Yeah. Brant’s book is called The Truth About Us: The Very Good News About How Very Bad We Are.

Dave (24:12):

And you can get your copy by clicking the link in the show notes at FamilyLifeToday.com.

Ann (24:16):

We know life is full of challenges and families today need biblical truth more than ever. Isn’t that true? And as a FamilyLife Partner, your monthly gift helps bring the truth into homes every single day through podcasts, events, and resources.

Dave (24:33):

So let’s make a lasting difference together. Become a partner today. Just go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the donate button.

Ann (24:45):

FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife®, a Cru® ministry; celebrating 50 years of helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.

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