Communication for Newlyweds: So…We’re Really Different, Huh?: Loreen and Emmanuel Garilus

Episode Transcript

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Communication for Newlyweds: So…We’re Really Different, Huh?

Guests:Loreen and Emmanuel Garilus

From the series:Love, Calling & the Life You’re Building (Day 1 of 2)

Air date:September 1, 2026

Emmanuel (00:04):

That’s definitely something we’ve kind of been working on as well is just the way she express what she’s feeling. Sometimes I can feel like I think you’re expressing it a little too much.

Loreen:

That’s one of the differences.

Emmanuel:

Yeah, it’s too open or it’s too drawn out.

Ann (00:26):

Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I’m Ann Wilson.

Dave (00:33):

And I’m Dave Wilson and you can find us at famulylifetoday.com. This is FamilyLife Today.

We’ve got the best dressed couple I’ve ever had in FamilyLife Studio today. You guys really do look excellent.

Ann (00:54):

Are you feeling insecure?

Dave (00:55):

I am. I got my golf sort of hoodie on over here. But here’s what’s amazing. Loreen and her husband, Emmanuel Garilus are in and nobody knows Loreen, but you work for us. You bring every guest into the studio.

Ann (01:11):

You make this happen.

Loreen (01:13):

Oh, I wouldn’t say that.

Ann (01:13):

What we’re doing at FamilyLife Today, you have a lot to do with it.

Dave (01:17):

Tell our listeners and all the people watching and seeing how underdressed we are at—tell them what you do.

Loreen (01:24):

Yeah. So my name’s Loreen. I am the guest relations coordinator at FamilyLife Today. And once we approve guests, I am on the hunt to try to get them here. I’m coordinating with either them directly or their publicist, and we’re working with schedules and travel to get them on the show. And then once they’re here on campus, I am their hospitality liaison.

Dave (01:47):

Meet them at the front door.

Loreen (01:48):

Yeah, security guard.

Dave (01:50):

Walk them back here. Get them an Uber.

Loreen (01:51):

Get them away from people who are talking too much, all that stuff.

Dave (01:54):

You do, really?

Loreen (01:55):

Yeah, I do.

Dave (01:55):

Man, you guys are newlyweds.

Loreen (01:57):

Yes!

Emmanuel (01:57):

We are.

Ann (01:58):

We’re going to talk a little bit, not only about your relationship and your love story, but also your passions and dreams and how God’s using you and how God wants to use all of us with those same passions and dreams.

Dave (02:11):

All right. Tell us how you met. Let’s hear the love story.

Ann (02:14):

You’re not going to ask Emmanuel what he does?

Dave (02:17):

Oh yeah, Emmanuel, what do you do?

Emmanuel (02:18):

Oh my God. My name is Emmanuel Garrilus. I am a saxophonist and educator and I do concerts.

Dave (02:25):

So that’s your full-time job.

Emmanuel (02:26):

Yeah, this is what I do.

Ann (02:27):

What do you mean by educator?

Emmanuel (02:28):

I teach as well. I teach saxophone mostly online.

Dave (02:32):

Really? Now when did you start playing?

Emmanuel (02:35):

I started playing when I was about 12 or 13.

Dave:

Oh, how’d you get into it?

Emmanuel:

Yeah, I was sitting in a church one day and there was this guy, the blue suit, funny looking hat, pointy toed shoes. He got on the stage, played his heart out and that moment really captured me.

Dave:

Wow.

Emmanuel:

And I said, “Man, I want to do that.” I joined the band the following year in high school. I did both jazz band and concert band. And then afterwards I studied under Jordan Pettay. She’s a saxophonist up there in New York. She studied out of Berkeley.

Dave:

Whoa, really?

Emmanuel:

Yeah, so she was my teacher for a while.

Ann (03:12):

So you grew up in Haiti.

Emmanuel (03:14):

I did.

Ann (03:15):

So how old were you when you came to the United States and did you have any musical interest when you were in Haiti?

Emmanuel (03:20):

Yeah, so my family is a pretty musical family.

Ann:

Really?

Emmanuel:

Yeah. My sisters, they all sing. We actually have a ministry, like a singing ministry.

Ann (03:29):

Whoa.

Emmanuel (03:29):

Yeah. My dad was a choir director for a long time. There was always music in the house. In 2010, unfortunately there was this big earthquake that happened in Haiti. And that’s when our family moved from Haiti to the US. But I didn’t start playing until I got into high school.

Ann (03:45):

Did you sing though with your family when they were singing?

Emmanuel (03:48):

Yeah.

Ann (03:48):

Have you heard them, Loreen? Yeah.

Emmanuel (03:51):

She’s part of the ministry.

Loreen (03:52):

Yeah, we’ll probably get into it, but yeah, I was friends with his sisters before I knew him, and I’ve been on leadership and a part of the choir for some time.

Ann:

Okay.

Dave (04:02):

Are you guys going to sing for us today?

Emmanuel (04:04):

Oh no. We’re part of the choir.

Loreen:

I am background.

Emmanuel:

Yeah, we’re background. We’re not the leads.

Ann (04:13):

Okay, you may not know this, but we want to hear from you.

Dave (04:17):

Yeah, like literally hear you.

Ann (04:20):

You can leave us a voice message with your questions, concerns, praise reports or whatever. Maybe Dave said something that you totally disagree with.

Dave (04:32):

Why’d you have to pick on me? Maybe it’s you said something.

Ann (04:34):

Maybe, probably.

Dave (04:35):

Or maybe it was inspiring. See, I was nice.

Ann (04:38):

No, I know you’re always nicer than me.

Dave (04:41):

I don’t think so. Or maybe you just want us to answer a question or explore a certain topic. Whatever you want to say, you get to call and say.

Ann (04:51):

All you have to do is go to speakpipe.com/FamilyLifeToday. Again, that’s speakpipe.com/FamilyLifeToday, or get the link in the show notes.

Dave (05:05):

Again, it’s speakpipe.com/FamilyLifeToday.

Ann (05:12):

How old were you guys when you met? You knew his sister.

Loreen (05:16):

Yeah.

Ann (05:16):

But how old were you then? Was it long ago?

Loreen (05:19):

I met one of his oldest sisters, Stephanie, in middle school. It was funny, sixth grade, we were in home economics. She had just came; the earthquake just happened. And me and my struggly Creole at the time, I remember trying to help her. And we went on sixth, seventh grade, eighth grade came around and she was in my honors history class. And I remember being so impressed by her because in those few years she prevailed. Her English was there. She’s in an honors class. And I remember going home and being like, “Mommy, do you remember the girl Stephanie, I told you about in sixth grade that came from the earthquake? She’s in my honors class and she’s so smart. She’s amazing.” And so that was then. Little did I know he was at that middle school.

Emmanuel (06:04):

I was a year under you guys.

Loreen (06:05):

Yeah, but I didn’t know him.

Dave (06:06):

Didn’t even notice him.

Loreen (06:08):

No, I didn’t really know. Stephanie’s from the home economics class we never had a class again besides the history class. And then we went on to go to different high schools, and it wouldn’t be until senior year that I felt like this pulling to come back to church. I had a friend named Jordan that would always talk about church. So I started going back. I started going to—

Dave (06:30):

You were going to church as a younger girl but stopped?

Loreen (06:32):

Yeah. So my family, we had an on and off. So we’d go consecutively for two years, stop for six months, go for three years, stop. So it wasn’t until high school that I felt that longing because of that friend named Jordan. So I started going to this church called Grace Bible Church of Central Florida; 2017 and 2018 I started serving in the young adult ministry. And I met a friend named Dorothea that actually works here. And her grandparents were putting on a how they met love story night at her house. And I went and I saw Stephanie and I remembered her from middle school, and she had a sister. And so just being nosy, I went home and I think I found her on Instagram or something and I saw she had other siblings and I saw him, and I was like, “Oh, he’s really cute.”

Dave (07:24):

Just from a picture.

Loreen (07:25):

Yeah. But I then saw that he had a girlfriend and it was—

Emmanuel:

I had a girlfriend.

Loreen:

It’s okay. We’ve passed and it was a long-term relationship.

Emmanuel (07:34):

Yeah, unfortunately that—no, fortunately that ended. It was unfortunate at the time because it was such a heartbreak. I remember going to God like—

Dave (07:43):

How long were you together?

Emmanuel (07:45):

Six years.

Loreen:

It was like high school sweethearts.

Emmanuel:

It was like high school sweethearts.

Ann (07:49):

At that time, were you pretty strong spiritually? It sounds like you grew up in a Christ-centered home.

Emmanuel (07:54):

My dad’s actually a pastor. In Haiti, our house, the top of it is a sanctuary. We would hold services there and we live in the bottom. Yeah. So people from the village would come and have service there on Sundays. So that’s kind of the environment I grew up in, very, very strong in the faith. But when that happened, I remember just being heartbroken and like, God, I don’t want to ever go through that again. Please tell me who my person is. I don’t want to go years and years.

Ann (08:23):

Just tell me who it is.

Emmanuel (08:25):

No, just tell me, just please be open with me. And He did actually. I remember it was sometime in between that where it was just me and God for a while just healing and going through that. And this must have been the beginning of 2024. I began to have a strong liking towards her. I don’t know, out of nowhere. So I’m like, “God, is this the person? Is this who I’m supposed to be with?” And through many ways He’s like, “Yeah.” I remember telling my sisters like, “Guys, I think I like Loreen.” And they were like, “Yes, just go. Yes, ask her out.” But I didn’t want to just jump into it, so I stayed with the Lord for, I think it was probably like two, three months just making sure.

Ann (09:16):

Wow. If only we would all have done that, right?

Dave (09:19):

Take your time.

Loreen (09:19):

I so appreciated that.

Ann (09:20):

Take your time. You’re going to God before you’re going to Loreen.

Emmanuel (09:24):

I did.

Ann (09:25):

Yeah, that’s good.

Dave (09:26):

Listeners, are you hearing that? That’s a good move.

Emmanuel (09:30):

Yeah. And even during that time, because you can tell them about the whole—

Loreen (09:33):

Yeah. Let me tell you guys the details. So one time at church, service just let out and my now brother-in-law, he was my friend, Eric, and he’s a big personality. He’s like, Loreen, whatever you’re doing, girl, keep doing it. There’s a big blessing on the way. Mind you, this is Eric. Mind you, this is the beginning of 24?

Emmanuel (09:56):

2024, yeah.

Loreen (09:57):

So December of 23, I had went on a fast because since graduating college, I had just been on the hunt to get the big girl job. It really wore me down. So I was on a fast. And so when he says this, Eric is a youth pastor. So I’m like, “This is a man of God. He’s heard from the Lord. He’s talking about my job.” So I’m like, “Thank you. I receive it.” But he keeps talking and he’s like, “When he approaches you, we didn’t have this conversation.” So I’m like, “Oh Lord, he’s talking about a man.” So I’m like, “Okay.” And I walk out. But naturally, I think just being a person, but also a woman, now I’m curious and I’m like, who is it?

Ann:

Of course.

Loreen:

And so I’m very active in the church. So it’s like, I feel like people are watching me, who could it be?

(10:42):

Is it the security guard? Is it the guy in Bible study? I don’t know. But I had this hunch that it was Emmanuel. And I was like, okay. And so I said, “We have a church anniversary coming up that we’re singing at and I’m going to see him. And if it’s different, I will know.” And I went, I walked in, and immediately I hear him from on stage and he’s like, “Is that Loreen?”

(11:05):

And so I’m playing Detective Gadget in my head and I’m like, “Okay, clue one because yeah, it’s me, but he would’ve never cared in the past.” So our culture, we greet each other with a kiss. And so I’m on stage and I’m greeting everybody and I go towards him. Should we act this out?

Dave:

Act it out.

Ann:

Yes.

Loreen:

So come closer. So he’s standing and he’s like—what did you say?

Emmanuel (11:32):

I said, “It’s so good to see you.”

Loreen (11:33):

Yeah, but his voice is like, “Lo, it’s so good to see you.” And in my head, I’m like, “Why is it so good to see me?”

Dave (11:40):

So good to see you.

Ann (11:42):

He’s got a good deep voice.

Loreen (11:44):

And so because I’m playing Detective Gadget from my peripheral, I catch his oldest sister Fran throw a glance to Stephanie that’s next in line. And it was like a, look, I’m right. And so the night unfolds and—

Emmanuel (11:59):

Yeah, we end up having this game night. My sister put together a game night.

Ann (12:04):

How many siblings do you have Emmanuel?

Emmanuel (12:05):

I have four siblings, so it’s five of us total. Yeah. So my sister puts on this game night. So I get there a little bit later and she just so happened to be the only person without a partner.

Loreen (12:16):

I had a partner, but it just so happens that when Emmanuel comes in, my partner has to go home.

Emmanuel (12:20):

Yeah. So then naturally I became her partner that night.

Dave (12:24):

So they set it up.

Emmanuel (12:25):

Yeah. And that night, man, we spoke for two, three hours. We just sat there and conversed for a while. And I’m like, “Let me take you out on a date.” And we’ve been together ever since.

Dave (12:39):

I mean, were you married soon after or was it a long courtship?

Emmanuel (12:41):

It’s 2024 and then we got married 2025, so a year.

Loreen (12:44):

It was pretty soon. He proposed in April of 25. And then we got married that July.

Emmanuel (12:51):

It was like a year at the most.

Ann (12:51):

When God tells you, you know.

Emmanuel (12:53):

You know.

Ann (12:53):

Yeah.

Loreen (12:54):

I want to go back to what we were talking about as far as it’s important to go to the Lord first before. Because I remember one of my really good friends, Gael, when I told her about the hunch that I had—

Emmanuel (13:09):

The mystery man.

Loreen (13:11):

Oh yeah, we kept calling him the mystery man. She said that she knew, but she couldn’t tell me. But she said, “I just want you to know that he’s really intentionally taking his time. He’s not going to be one of those weirdos that’s like God told me you’re my wife.” And I said, “You know what, Gael?” I said, “I have no idea who he is, but I already have so much respect for him because that’s the best thing he could ever do for me.” And so I said, “Whether I find out in a month or six months or I never find out, I already have so many brownie points for this guy because yeah, that’s the best move to make.”

Ann (13:47):

Because compare what you guys did relationally—taking your time, seeking God—compare that to what an average 20-something would’ve been doing in the culture that maybe doesn’t know God. And maybe they do know God, but that relationship has come before God.

Dave (14:05):

Usually, it happens fast.

Loreen (14:07):

Yeah. I can compare it to myself. So I really got active in church and in ministry when I was 20. And before that, I didn’t have much friends. I didn’t really have much community. I kind of was a went to school, went home type of girl. And so I formed that when I joined my young adult ministry and I was serving. And I definitely quickly learned about idolatry and putting man before God. And so I experienced that in friendship, but also with my first relationship. It was something that we didn’t give each other time to know each other. I’m like, even that guy, and bless his heart, he was young too, but I’m like, I could have been a Jezebel coming in here to wreak havoc in this beautiful young adult ministry that y’all have created. So it was foolish of him and also foolish of me to entertain that so quickly.

(15:03):

So that’s my example. I definitely had my bout of that.

Ann (15:06):

And I think so many people now, they hook up. The relationship isn’t so much about getting to know each other and really knowing who they are in Christ and what the relationship with God is like. And for you guys, that was foundational.

Loreen and Emmanuel:

Yeah.

Ann:

I love that.

Dave (15:23):

Well, I mean, here’s my question to the ladies. How important is it to you as women that your man, even if you’re not married, is a solid God fearing, God following, God obeying man? Because I’m hearing your story and thinking there was some respect you had for him because he took his time because you knew he’s waiting on the Lord. He’s not moving. You know what I mean? So I’m thinking Christian women, that’s what they long for. I don’t think guys understand that. They think I’m supposed to look this way and act this way and move quick. Am I right? I’m not a woman, but I’m like, don’t women, man, they respect a man who’s like, this is my priority, Jesus. I’m not moving until Jesus.

Ann (16:08):

If a woman is walking with Jesus, yes, absolutely. If Jesus is her Lord and King, yeah, there’s incredible respect like, “Oh, he’s seeking God before anything else,” and that’s attractive.

Loreen (16:22):

Yeah. Because that’s the only way that I’ll feel the safest. We’re fickle. We’re fickle people. Someone could wake up tomorrow and God forbid but lose their mind. Literally be out of their mind. And so I need to know that you’ve come under Christ. We talk about lists, creating a list. And I don’t mind that, but for my list, it just was a lot of character. My very first one was that he loves the Lord way more than he loves me.

Ann (16:53):

Loreen, you’re so mature. For most people—how old were you guys when you got married?

Emmanuel (16:58):

26.

Loreen:

27.

Ann (17:01):

So for you to have that as a priority, that says a lot about your character and your walk with Jesus.

Loreen (17:07):

Thank you.

Ann (17:08):

What’s been your learnings?

Emmanuel (17:11):

That we’re very different.

Ann (17:12):

You’re different?

Loreen:

Yeah.

Emmanuel (17:12):

In many, many ways. I know for me personally, since I was in Gainesville kind of a lot, I didn’t really see some things until you get up close and personal and both good and bad. You don’t realize that, okay, they do things this way. It’s not necessarily bad.

Ann (17:31):

It’s different.

Emmanuel (17:31):

It’s just different than how I would do it.

Dave (17:34):

Like what? You got some examples?

Emmanuel (17:36):

We got examples.

Ann (17:37):

Yeah. How are you different?

Loreen:

Go ahead.

Emmanuel (17:40):

I’d say communication. We’re different in terms of she wants to be on the phone all the time, especially if she’s not home. She’ll call me and I’m working. I’m like, “You could have just texted me that.”

Loreen (17:54):

All the time is a stretch.

Emmanuel (17:56):

You don’t have to call all the time and it’s nothing bad, but for me, if I’m working, I think maybe you can relate. Focus is very important to me, and I want to get done what I’m getting done. And if you’re calling, it’s going to just take me away from what I’m doing. And that’s one thing. And it’s not like I don’t want to talk to you, but right now it’s just not—I’m sure you guys can relate to that.

Ann (18:18):

Totally.

Emmanuel (18:18):

That’s just one of many ways.

Ann (18:20):

What would you say, Loreen?

Loreen (18:22):

For me, because he’s always in hyper focus, I’m like—

Emmanuel (18:28):

It wasn’t hyper focus.

Loreen (18:29):

—I’m like, “Okay, I can understand and I have grace for it, but let’s agree that on this set time we break.” And our thing is for dinner. So if maybe he has a lot of client calls or he has something else and he has to have a working dinner, if he doesn’t communicate that, then that’s very frustrating for me because I’ve been patiently waiting for this time. Because if it doesn’t happen then, then I won’t see him until bed. I feel like that’s understandable.

Emmanuel (18:58):

No, that’s understandable. That’s understandable. That’s totally understandable.

Ann (19:02):

You’re right and it’s just different communication. The ways that we communicate are important. I think that that’s true for Dave and I. I tend to lock into something and be super focused. You do too. And one of our things was I felt like he wasn’t present when we were together sometimes. But I can do it too. Dave and I are kind of alike. We have a lot of the same weaknesses—weaknesses, differences.

Dave (19:29):

Mine are weaknesses. Hers are differences. That’s what that is. No, but I think, and it could be opposite for men and women, but I know I can get locked into something and I’m in a project and she wants to talk and I’m like, “Right now, can you not see this? And you asked me to do it, so here I am.” Or “I’m making money for the family. This is for us.” And sometimes you’ll just want to—

Ann (19:59):

Yeah, because I want the relationship piece to be so important. And it is to him, but he’s communicating it in a different way. Like, yeah, this is important too because I’m doing it for us. But I’m like, “But it doesn’t feel like us.”

Loreen:

Yeah.

Emmanuel (20:15):

How do you balance that? Because I think that’s something I’m still learning.

Ann (20:19):

I love what Loreen said like, “Hey, okay, I get it. But now during this time, during dinner, lock in.” Because we see that with our kids and their different personalities too, of how it can frustrate the spouse when you have expectations like, “Okay, for dinner we’re going to talk,” and then it doesn’t happen and you have those unmet needs that can create then conflict. The question is, do you guys come back and talk about it then? If your feelings are hurt or if it didn’t ever happen. That’s the key is that constant communication, I think, without resentment.

Loreen (20:57):

I would say we do.

Emmanuel:

Yeah.

Loreen:

I’m a talker. I will express my feelings. Maybe too well.

Ann (21:04):

Me too, Loreen. Me too.

Emmanuel (21:07):

Yeah. But that’s definitely something we’re kind of been working on as well is just the way she express what she’s feeling. Sometimes I can feel like, I think you’re expressing it a little too much.

Loreen:

That’s one of the differences.

Emmanuel:

Yeah. It’s too open or it’s too drawn out. In my family, because the way I grew up, it’s like we have meetings all the time. So if there’s something that’s happening that maybe someone did something wrong, we all as a family will sit down and have a meeting about it. And someone will go around and just express themselves. It’s very almost office-like. We just have the opportunity to speak and speak our mind.

Ann (21:47):

So it’s not as emotional, you’re saying?

Emmanuel (21:48):

Yes, exactly. It’s not as emotional. Even for my mom, she’s just, “Hey, this is what you did. Don’t do that. This is this, this is that.” Maybe with my dad, I don’t know how she does with my dad. I don’t see that up close. But with us, she was very, “Here’s this, here’s that.” So it’s very, very chill. It’s not the same with Loreen.

Loreen (22:08):

My house was the complete opposite. Yeah, we were very—

Ann (22:12):

Passionate.

Loreen (22:13):

—very passionate.

Emmanuel (22:14):

That’s the word I was looking for, passionate. A lot of passion.

Loreen (22:16):

Passionate on the phone, passionate in doorways. It’s been a learning curve. I think also for me, in trying to uphold the verse that says not to let the sun go down on your wrath, I like to talk about it, but I think sometimes he kind of just wants to let it sit or maybe we can come back to it and that’ll only just fester more in me. I don’t just wake up and it’s a new day and I forgot about it. It’s still very much there. I don’t want to say good morning to you before we talk about it. So that’s another difference we’re trying to figure out.

Ann (23:15):

Well, that was fun to have Loreen and Emmanuel.

Dave (23:18):

I have a whole new appreciation for her other life, which is her life.

Ann:

I know.

Dave:

You only see her at work, and you don’t know there’s this whole life going on.

Ann (23:29):

And the thing that inspired me too, besides their walk with God, their trust in Him, was their community of God. Their church life was really instrumental, and I feel like that should be true for all of us.

Dave (23:44):

It’s something you have to make happen and they’re making it happen. And guess what? We got him back tomorrow and tomorrow he’s pulling out his saxophone. You’re not going to want to miss this one.

Ann (23:55):

Before we’re done today, I just want to remind our listeners that our vision at FamilyLife is every home, a godly home. And we need your help to get there. And when you become a FamilyLife Partner, your monthly support makes that vision actually possible.

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Ann (24:27):

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Dave (24:43):

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