5 Ways to Pray as a Couple

Pray for each other's relationship with Christ.

Main Scriptures:

John 3:16
John 15:5-6

I’m not proud to say I have unread text messages from good friends that have sat for more than 48 hours. Am I the only one?

In my defense, life is busy as a young, working husband and new dad of twins that just moved his family to a different state. But if I continuously uphold an unresponsive behavior with friends and their attempts to reach out, I can expect those relationships to wither.

Just as our connections with friends and family decline when we continuously stop responding back to text messages or reject hanging-out requests, the same happens with Jesus. When praying declines, when reading our Bible declines, when going to church declines, when our quiet time declines, when truly seeking God with all our hearts declines, our overall relationship with Jesus declines.

There are many responsibilities that rightfully demand our attention: marriage, parenting, working, bills, social life, life goals, fitness, self care… the list goes on. But what good is the fruit of our labor when it’s not connected to the branch of true life itself, Jesus.

The Bible is filled with texts and love letters from Jesus, speaking through multiple authors to say one thing: He wants a vibrant relationship with us. His words call out to our hearts as He desires to be our everything, the One we depend on. He has what we need for every day of our lives, but are we even reading His text? Are we declining His call?

If the branch of our lives is not connected to the vine in Jesus, we aren’t truly living. As a couple, reflect on the branches of your lives and how you spend your time each day. Let’s aim to bond our hearts more with Jesus daily. Let’s respond to the texts of Scripture and answer the call of spending time with Him. Like a branch bonded to the vine, let’s make Jesus our lifeline.

Ask:

How can I pray for your bond with Jesus?

Consider this:

Pray that both connect with Jesus more frequently each day.
Pray that your relationship with Jesus grows together as a couple despite distractions.
Truly make note of each other’s response to the question, and take it to the Lord in prayer.

Pray for each other's mind.

Main Scriptures:

2 Corinthians 10:5
Romans 12:2

My wife is a school psychologist. So she has a habit of asking me, “How is your mind? How is your brain?”

Even though she’s asked me this question at least twice a week since we’ve been married, it still leaves me annoyed with myself at times, because it reminds me that I don’t give intentional care to my thoughts and my mind’s health.

The hustle and bustle of life tends to not give our thinking patterns much time for attention. We often just think, feel, and take action without much effort toward acknowledging our minds are the leaders of our lives. Or even what or who may be leading our thoughts.

The brain is like an incredible engine, only as good as its maintenance. The directions we decide to journey and the distances we’re able to go depend on the wellness of our minds. The wear and tear of daily living impacts our thoughts. But it’s not just our thoughts.

Our thoughts become our actions.
Our actions become our habits.
Our habits become our way of life.
Our way of life is an illustration of who we are.

Like oil in a car, our thoughts need to constantly be renewed. Bad, sludgy oil doesn’t do well for a car just as bad, sludgy thinking doesn’t do well for our lives. With the daily influences and challenges in the world, the entirety of your mind needs to be laid at the feet of Jesus daily for renewal.

God knows every challenge we face and wants to give our minds freedom, hope, and transformational love to impact who we are for our good. He wants to take care of every thought you have.

Today, let’s decide to surrender our minds to Jesus, preparing our hearts to surrender tomorrow and every day after.

Ask:

How can I pray for your mind?

Consider this:

Pray that Jesus leads and cleanses each thought you both have daily.
Pray that Jesus removes any bad influences on your thinking when it comes to your relationship as a couple.
Truly make note of each other’s response to the question, and take it to the Lord in prayer.

Pray for each other's purpose.

Main Scriptures:

Ephesians 2:10
Psalm 139:14

Every career has a set of tools specific to that profession. A doctor may use a stethoscope, syringes, or a blood pressure cuff. A barber may have clippers, scissors, and maybe hair spray. A carpenter often carries a hammer, screwdriver, and power tools.

But what happens when a tool never comes in contact with a professional that knows how to use it? The tool has not lost its purpose. But until it comes into contact with the one who knows how to use it, the tool’s purpose is unfulfilled.

Each and everyone of us has been uniquely and wonderfully designed to do amazing things from our relationship with God. Just as no one can take away the preconceived purpose of the most intricate tool, nothing can remove the special purpose God designed you for.

But we can’t believe our purpose comes alive apart from the One who knows how to utilize us best, our Heavenly Father.

Ignore any noise of lies entertaining the idea that you don’t have a special purpose. God already says you do. Since what He says is true, every person and every thought that says otherwise is a lie.

Like a hammer needs to always be close to the carpenter to be effective, let us draw near to God and linger in His presence to wait, find, and fulfill our purpose everyday.

Ask:

How can I pray for the purpose God has for you?

Consider this:

Pray that God reveals/affirms His purpose for each of your lives clearly.
Pray that both of your continue to grow a desire to be used by God’s plan.
Truly make note of each other’s response to the question, and take it to the Lord in prayer.

Pray for each other's confidence in Christ.

Main Scriptures:

Romans 8:31-39
Hebrews 10:35-36

When I first learned to drive, I didn’t really take my foot off the brakes. I was riding the brake so much, I was as good as being parked on a 45 mph road.

I can’t say I was being a careful driver, more like a self-doubting one. I’d already received the permit to drive with my parents in the car and go wherever I wanted. I just couldn’t get past the doubt to release my foot off the brakes.

So many of us have our foot locked in on the brakes of insecurity even though God has already permitted us to live up to our full potential. What’s keeping your foot irrationally on the brake? Is it fear? The past? Is it skepticism?

God enables us to go beyond and explore the land of good and mighty works for His glory. But when insecurity takes the passenger seat instead of our confidence in Christ, we’re afraid to even leave the driveway. Doubt in what God has called us to do for His glory disguises itself in rational thinking backed by false claims of why you shouldn’t. God is your biggest supporter, and He is saying GO! Nothing else has the power to say no.

When you operate in God’s will, He’s got your back. Let’s recognize every lie that feeds insecurity and doubt. You are wonderfully made. Stand firm in Jesus and prepare to soar into the promises of God.

Ask:

How can I pray for your confidence in Christ?

Consider this:

Pray that God silences lies of Satan that stop you both from pursuing God in freedom.
Pray that God lifts each of your hearts up each time insecurity in Christ wants to creep in.
Truly make note of each other’s response to the question, and take it to the Lord in prayer.

Pray for each other's confidence in Christ.

Main Scriptures:

1 Corinthians 12:12-31
Hebrews 10:24-25

When my wife and I discovered we were going to be first time parents of twins, we buckled down as an exclusive team to be the best parents ever and braced ourselves to defeat every challenge.

We never imagined my wife being diagnosed with preeclampsia, hospitalized for a month, delivering our girls at 30 weeks, and navigating a 3-month NICU journey as our intro to parenthood.

During such a fragile time in our lives, we were incredibly vulnerable to falling apart mentally. The heavy stress and emotional pressures of such a time couldn’t be held by our well-intentioned team of two. It was impossible.

But when we welcomed community more into our lives and struggles, I watched God make the impossible possible.

Co-workers we found friendship with came together and helped with work tasks, neighbors took care of our home in ways they could, and our church community lifted all four of us in relentless prayer with willingness to make meals and even take care of our two energetic dogs.

Today, our family is healthy—the girls are getting ready to celebrate their first birthday, and though we recently moved, we’re looking forward to connecting with and serving others more.

Let’s embrace others into our lives and reach forward for friendship and connection. God has gifted us community and engagement with one another, rather than isolation. Together, we enhance each other’s lives and achieve a work of art on display for the world to experience Jesus. When our friends and family rallied around us to bear the weight of things we couldn’t, it was as if Jesus Himself held us up.

Whether it’s work or school, near or far, home or church, relationships can be tough and sometimes awkward, especially because we all make mistakes and have imperfections. But when united with others in Christ, we experience the wonder of God, making impossible circumstances possible.

Ask:

How can I pray for your relationships?

Consider this:

Pray that God leads each of you to people in your neighborhood and church to build friendships.
Pray that God helps remove barriers in your ability to engage with others for God’s glory.
Pray that God repairs any broken relationships amongst family members and friends.
Truly make note of each other’s response to the question, and take it to the Lord in prayer.