FamilyLife Blended® Minute

Don’t Get Caught in the Triangle

with Ron Deal | June 15, 2021
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Say, a child tells their biological parent something negative about the parent's spouse-the stepparent. Listen and acknowledge the child's feelings but avoid resolving the problem. That might inadvertently create an unhealthy alliance against your spouse and don't speak up for your spouse or that might minimize the child's feelings. Either way you're stuck in the middle and they haven't figured it out yet. Listen, validate, and then say: "Let's talk about how you two can work this out.

  • Show Notes

  • About the Host

  • About the Guest

  • Say, a child tells their biological parent something negative about the parent's spouse-the stepparent. Listen and acknowledge the child's feelings but avoid resolving the problem. That might inadvertently create an unhealthy alliance against your spouse and don't speak up for your spouse or that might minimize the child's feelings. Either way you're stuck in the middle and they haven't figured it out yet. Listen, validate, and then say: "Let's talk about how you two can work this out.

  • Ron Deal

    Ron L. Deal is one of the most widely read and viewed experts on blended families in the country. He is Director of FamilyLife Blended® for FamilyLife®, founder of Smart Stepfamilies™, and the author and Consulting Editor of the Smart Stepfamily Series of books including the bestselling Building Love Together in Blended Families: The 5 Love Languages® and Becoming Stepfamily Smart (with Dr. Gary Chapman), The Smart Stepfamily: 7 Steps to a Healthy Family, and Preparing to Blend. Ron is a licensed marriage and family therapist, popular conference speaker, and host of the FamilyLife Blended podcast. He and his wife, Nan, have three sons and live in Little Rock, Arkansas. Learn more at FamilyLife.com/blended.

When two people you love are in conflict-don’t’ get caught in the triangle.

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Don’t Get Caught in the Triangle

With Ron Deal
|
June 15, 2021
| Download Transcript PDF

Ron: When two people you love are in conflict—don’t’ get caught in the triangle.

Announcer: For FamilyLife Blended®, here’s Ron Deal.

Ron: It doesn’t matter who it is, don’t take up their fight. Say, a child tells their biological parent something negative about the parent’s spouse—the stepparent. Listen and acknowledge the child’s feelings, now assuming there’s no abuse going on, avoid taking responsibility for resolving the problem. That might inadvertently create an unhealthy alliance against your spouse—and don’t speak up for your spouse or that might minimize the child’s feelings. Either way you’re still stuck in the middle and they aren’t any closer to figuring this thing out.

Listen, validate, and then say: “Let’s talk about how you two can work this out.” For FamilyLife Blended, I’m Ron Deal.

Announcer: To find out more visit familylifeblended.com.

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