Don’t Get Caught in the Triangle
Say, a child tells their biological parent something negative about the parent's spouse-the stepparent. Listen and acknowledge the child's feelings but avoid resolving the problem. That might inadvertently create an unhealthy alliance against your spouse and don't speak up for your spouse or that might minimize the child's feelings. Either way you're stuck in the middle and they haven't figured it out yet. Listen, validate, and then say: "Let's talk about how you two can work this out.
Show Notes
About the Guest
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Say, a child tells their biological parent something negative about the parent's spouse-the stepparent. Listen and acknowledge the child's feelings but avoid resolving the problem. That might inadvertently create an unhealthy alliance against your spouse and don't speak up for your spouse or that might minimize the child's feelings. Either way you're stuck in the middle and they haven't figured it out yet. Listen, validate, and then say: "Let's talk about how you two can work this out.
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Ron Deal
Ron L. Deal is one of the most widely read and viewed experts on blended families in the country. He is Director of FamilyLife Blended® for FamilyLife®, founder of Smart Stepfamilies™, and the author and Consulting Editor of the Smart Stepfamily Series of books including the bestselling Building Love Together in Blended Families: The 5 Love Languages® and Becoming Stepfamily Smart (with Dr. Gary Chapman), The Smart Stepfamily: 7 Steps to a Healthy Family, and ...more
When two people you love are in conflict-don’t’ get caught in the triangle.
Ron: When two people you love are in conflict—don’t’ get caught in the triangle.
Announcer: For FamilyLife Blended®, here’s Ron Deal.
Ron: It doesn’t matter who it is, don’t take up their fight. Say, a child tells their biological parent something negative about the parent’s spouse—the stepparent. Listen and acknowledge the child’s feelings, now assuming there’s no abuse going on, avoid taking responsibility for resolving the problem. That might inadvertently create an unhealthy alliance against your spouse—and don’t speak up for your spouse or that might minimize the child’s feelings. Either way you’re still stuck in the middle and they aren’t any closer to figuring this thing out.
Listen, validate, and then say: “Let’s talk about how you two can work this out.” For FamilyLife Blended, I’m Ron Deal.
Announcer: To find out more visit familylifeblended.com.
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