FamilyLife Blended® Minute

Stepparent Tip #1: Be Ready for Hot and Cold

with Ron Deal | October 8, 2018
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When a child feels confused about liking you or disloyal about it they back away. So here are some tips for building a bridge to your stepchild's heart. First, have compassion for how hard this is for them. They're not trying to manipulate you. They like you are just confused about your relationship. Give them some grace. Second, enjoy it when they are leaning toward you but realize they may go back and forth. Give them time and who knows with patience they might lean towards you more and more.

  • Show Notes

  • About the Host

  • About the Guest

  • When a child feels confused about liking you or disloyal about it they back away. So here are some tips for building a bridge to your stepchild's heart. First, have compassion for how hard this is for them. They're not trying to manipulate you. They like you are just confused about your relationship. Give them some grace. Second, enjoy it when they are leaning toward you but realize they may go back and forth. Give them time and who knows with patience they might lean towards you more and more.

  • Ron Deal

    Ron L. Deal is one of the most widely read and viewed experts on blended families in the country. He is Director of FamilyLife Blended® for FamilyLife®, founder of Smart Stepfamilies™, and the author and Consulting Editor of the Smart Stepfamily Series of books including the bestselling Building Love Together in Blended Families: The 5 Love Languages® and Becoming Stepfamily Smart (with Dr. Gary Chapman), The Smart Stepfamily: 7 Steps to a Healthy Family, and Preparing to Blend. Ron is a licensed marriage and family therapist, popular conference speaker, and host of the FamilyLife Blended podcast. He and his wife, Nan, have three sons and live in Little Rock, Arkansas. Learn more at FamilyLife.com/blended.

A stepparent recently asked me, “Ron, what do you do with the hot and cold from stepkids? I mean, one minute they love me and the next they want nothing to do with me.”