165: Two Homes, One Team: Co-Parenting for Your Kids’ Well-being
Good co-parenting with a former spouse helps kids navigate life in two homes with greater ease. Ron Deal’s conversation with Jay and Tammy Daughtry teaches us how to be parental partners, not angry associates, as we compartmentalize the pain from divorce and manage co-parenting through a businesslike relationship. They emphasized the importance of congenial handoffs during the parental exchange, biological time spent with biological parents/kids, recognizing unrealistic expectations of former spouse relationships, reframing sensitive days on the calendar to minimize emotional landmines, and understanding two dynamics often at play:
Bio fog—when a deep connection between biological parents and kids creates fog with the parent, who then often tolerates misbehavior.
Step vision—when an objective stepparent quickly identifies shortfalls in stepchildren and often communicates them harshly.
Show Notes
About the Guest
Jay and Tammy Daughtry
As a native of Rockford, Illinois, Jay has a pastoral background of over twenty years and a personal encounter with life-altering grief, having lost his first wife in an accident. His passion for hurting families comes authentically as he has walked many painful pathways of grief and loss. Jay was a widower and single father for over three years and now is remarried and raising a blended family of four children, three dogs and is a proud new grandfather. He is also a creative soul with a long history in songwriting and enjoying his craft of music through playing guitar, piano, drums and bass. Jay is certified to administer the Prepare/Enrich Assessment, a valuable tool for dating, pre-marital and marital work, and he is a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.
As a native of Denver, Colorado, Tammy has a personal passion for children impacted by divorce and remarriage. She is the founder of Co-Parenting International, an organization launched in 2003 to help divorced parents raise healthy kids. She is a national author of “Co-parenting Works! Helping Your Children Thrive After Divorce” (HarperCollins 2011) and has extensive media experience with radio, television and professional seminars on the matter of co-parenting and its impact on children. Personally, Tammy is divorced and was a single mom for many years; she has been a co-parent raising a daughter “between two homes” since 2001. She remarried in 2009 and is now happily raising a blended family that is her pride and joy! She is deeply vested in the Nashville, TN area as she has lived there for over 17 years and is proud to call it home! Tammy is certified to administer the Prepare/Enrich Assessment, a valuable tool for pre-marital work and she is on the YMCA Board of Directors, the International Committee for the YMCA, the Program Director for the NAACC, a member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and volunteers for many local organizations that further community collaboration!
About the Host
Ron Deal
Ron Deal is Director of FamilyLife Blended®️ for FamilyLife®️ and President of Smart Stepfamilies™️. He is a family ministry consultant and conducts marriage and family seminars around the country; he specializes in marriage education and stepfamily enrichment. He is one of the most widely read authors on stepfamily living in the country.