Home is Where You Are: Ruth Chou Simons

Episode Transcript

FamilyLife Today® with Dave and Ann Wilson – Web Version Transcript

This content has been generated by an artificial intelligence language model. While we strive for accuracy and quality, please note that the information provided will most likely not be entirely error-free or up-to-date. We recommend independently verifying the content with the originally-released audio. This transcript is provided for your personal use and general information purposes only. References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. We do not assume any responsibility or liability for the use or interpretation of this content.

Home Is Where You Are

Guest:Ruth Chou Simons

From the series:Home Is Where You Are (Day 1 of 1)

Air date:December 18, 2024

Ruth:He’s sitting there, obviously full of meds, about to be pushed into the OR. I can’t hold it back; I’m just crying. And Judah says, “Mama, this is God’s moment”; he’s like, “God is with me.”

Dave:Wow!

Ruth:Listen, I just sat there, and I thought, “Ruth, you thought it was scary to send your kids out into the world. But the reality is, if you really trust Me, and you really believe that home is right where they are, then I’m going to give you an opportunity to really believe that—when it’s actually the scariest; when it’s actually the hardest—when you actually have to trust that, even if he comes out on the other side, and can’t walk, that home is still his; that he still belongs; and is under the care of the Shepherd.”

Ann:Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I’m Ann Wilson.

Dave:And I’m Dave Wilson. And you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is FamilyLife Today.

Dave: Okay; how many of these books have you bought? I just want to know, because I help pay for them.

Ann:Well, I mean, you have to have one in every home of our kids and friends, right?

This is by Ruth Chou Simons, who’s with us in the studio today. We are going to give you this book if you send a donation, of any amount, this month—the whole month—it will be doubled; and we’re going to send you this as our gift, and you’re going to love it. It’s basically—and Ruth, we’re going to talk about this book today—it’s inspired by Psalm 23. It’s Ruth’s first children’s book, so we’re going to get into that today.

Dave:By the way, you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and make your donation there; we’ll send you this book. Or call us at 800-358-6329.

But here, we’ve got Ruth in the studio. I don’t know how you do the watercolor painting thing; it’s beautiful. And you already told us you sort of learned that later? That wasn’t something you grew up doing?

Ruth:Well, thank you. I painted, but mostly in other mediums; and watercolor was new for me. I shared on a different conversation we’ve had that it just dried so fast. When you have six little people, like I did during that season—I have six sons—I just needed something that would dry quickly before somebody came and messed it up, so that’s how watercolor began.

Ann:And you weren’t trained in watercolor.

Ruth:No, no.

Ann: When you went to college, were you an art major?

Ruth:Well, I started off as a bio-chem major.

Ann:Ruth, you are just—wait—you’re smart and creative? Creatives are smart, but—

Ruth: Well, I was trying to do what was expected of me; that’s what I was trying to do. And I was overachieving, got early entrance into UC, Berkeley—all the things—and ended up just kind of throwing it all away and going to art.

Ann:What did your parents think?

Ruth:My parents were surprisingly non-reactive to all of it. But they certainly didn’t know that I would end up using all these giftings in this way. I am very, very grateful that the Lord truly does redeem things that you even try to squander, and He actually redeems it. And He shows you that He’s still in control of all the things that He gave you in the first place.

Ann:How did you decide to do a children’s book? You’ve written; you blog; you have a podcast; you’ve homeschooled your kids, part-time, with a co-op; you’ve been to seminary; you’ve done a lot of things. Why now?—a children’s book.

Ruth: I’m so grateful that I’ve gotten to do so many genres. I do write Bible studies; I do write full-color devotionals and trade books. But with Home Is Right Where You Are, I knew that, in this changing season—I’m currently a mama to a 22-year-old and an 11-year-old—I have an 11-year difference in my 6 boys, and 3 of them are out of our home; they’re no longer living at our house.

I just really said, “Okay. I think this season is one I’d like to mark with a children’s book where, before my kids are all grown, I kind of write a love letter of how I see this investment of what it is that I want to send them out into the world with.” It was almost kind of like the prayer that I would pray over, and have prayed over, my boys as they are home or, as they start anew, far from me.

I wanted it to be just like most everything I do: I wanted it to be inspired by something in Scripture—so not just one random message that I have on my heart—but really: “What is it that God wants us to know about His heart when we are going through the seasons and journeys of life?”

Psalm 23 is such a good reminder of the fact that God goes with us, that we’re never outside of His care; that when we dwell with Him, and when we make our home with Him, then we genuinely are never uncared for. He is the good Shepherd, who is always caring for us, keeping us close, defending us; making sure that, where we go, He leads.

The Psalm ends: “Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” That’s where this idea of home and dwelling comes to play; in that, I personally, as a mama, am feeling that tension of—some live at home; and some are beginning anew, and they’re no longer calling our home their primary residence—“What is it that we can give our kids, that they might even memorize?” It’s read over them so much that they know, when they leave home, that they can never outrun God’s grace and His care.

And that the final line of the book is: “For when God is with you, home is right where you are.” I can’t think of a more important message for my boys—who live in Phoenix; and my boy who lives in Madison, Wisconsin; or wherever life takes them or us—that ultimately, home: the real sense of safety, assurance, care, belonging—that that will always be right where you are when your home is with Jesus. That’s the message of the book.

Dave:This needs to be a song; this is going to be a song next.

Ruth:Oh!

Ann: Dave is a creative, too.

Dave: That’s what I do.

Ruth: I love that.

Dave:I’ve got a guitar here. I should have written one last night:—

Ruth: I love it.

Dave:—Home Is Right Where You Are.

Ruth: Oh, my goodness.

Dave:You’ve sort of had to live this out. Tell us that story.

Ruth:Man, this book came out September 24, so just a few months ago. The weekend before the book was launching—and you all know, as authors, that launch day: the day where everybody can actually pick it up on a bookshelf, or have it delivered to them by an online retailer—that’s a really important day. It’s a day where we’re celebrating the book’s release; we’ve all been working towards people getting it in their hands.

Three days before the book came out, I get a phone call. It’s my second oldest and my third oldest—who are together at their college—calling, saying that my third son had had a very serious mountain biking accident. They had been going off, on a Saturday morning, on their typical bike ride. He had gone over his handlebars and landed on his head, cracked this high-grade helmet, and needed to be helicoptered out of the hills of Phoenix.

Ann:When did they call you?—when it had actually happened or in the hospital?

Ruth:When they were waiting for Search and Rescue. At the time, we actually thought, “Okay, they’re being precautionary.” My second oldest was really smart, and said, “I’m telling him to hold real still. I don’t know what is going on, but I’m not letting him move.” And we thought, “You know what? Be safe.” And we were still at home, thinking, “We’ll find out more.”

I got to tell you—it’s kind of funny—because an hour later/an hour and a half later, they’re in the ER; and they get on FaceTime. At that point, my third son, Judah, who was in the accident, was on a lot of morphine I think. He seemed like he wasn’t in a lot of pain; but they both go: “After we get done with this, we’re going to go get chicken bakes at Costco.” This is, literally, what they’re saying to us on FaceTime; so we’re thinking—

Ann:—because nobody thinks it’s a big deal.

Ruth: No, they don’t. At this point, being helicoptered out was mostly because of location, because he was in the desert. And so we were like, “Okay, well, he could have really jacked up his back”; but they’re like, “We’re going to go get chicken bakes after this at Costco.”

The ER doc comes onto the FaceTime call, and says, “Hey, Mom and Dad, you guys need to book a flight to come down. He has multiple fractures; fractured rib. We can’t even treat him here; he needs to go to a different trauma center.” And that’s when I knew; I said, “Okay, this is really serious.” We hopped on a flight immediately; went to Phoenix.

Ann:What was happening with your heart?

Ruth:Oh, man; I’m a mama to six, and so I don’t panic super easily. I am the person, who usually is like, “You don’t need to call 911; we’re fine.”

Ann:—especially, with boys.

Ruth:I really am so used to them falling and getting hurt—the shredding of the arm, a lot of bleeding; them doctoring themselves up—we’ve been through all of it. But this time, it felt really different. I knew that, a couple days later, I was supposed to go on book tour. We had multiple events scheduled in Oklahoma; I had multiple visits and book signings. There was so much coming, and I thought, “Oh, well, maybe it’s not that big of a deal; and we’re going to find that it’s not as bad as they thought.”

I’m randomly packing: “I’m on a deadline for a different project.” So in my suitcase, I pack watercolor paints; because I don’t know how long I’m going to be there. I pack the book. I don’t know; I don’t know what I need to do. We hop on the flight; and thankfully, it’s only a state away. We get there quickly, but we are in the ICU for a week. We find out that he—through an MRI—that the kind of fractures he had in his thoracic were so severe, and that he had twisted his entire—so not just compression but twisted—that it was going to be a really complicated surgery: rods, screws.

The surgery was scheduled for Monday. I didn’t share this, until much later, that—we shared about the fact that I was going to be offline, that the book would release without my actual presence. Online, my assistant was going to take over—we shared about the surgeries; that’s how everybody, who just loves and supports us, prayed for us. But I didn’t share, in real time, how dangerous the surgery really was; and how much, even their highly-decorated, highly-top-of-the-top neurosurgeon really said to me: “I did my very best,” and “We need to make sure that he actually can move his fingers and his toes, because there was a complication,”—that I won’t go into—but there was a complication during surgery; there was a complication that actually compromised things. We waited a few hours before he actually wiggled his toes. And that video never went online; but it went to my friends and family, and everybody wept with us.

You just don’t expect, as a mama, to have to go from: “I’m so excited about celebrating a book in which I’m going to talk about sending my kids out into the world, and home is right where you are.

Ann:“God is always with you.”

Ruth: “God is always with you,” to “God, are You with him?”

I got to tell you all: he’s sitting there, obviously full of meds, about to be pushed into the OR; and I can’t hold it back; I’m just bawling at this point. You want to be brave—and you want to not show your kids—but I’ve been holding it together, and he’s about to be wheeled away from me. I just start crying; and Judah says—granted, I think he was on some meds at this point and really brave; but he looks up at me; you can’t make this stuff up—he goes, “Mama, this is God’s moment”; he’s like, “God is with me.”

Dave:Wow!

Ruth:Listen, I just sat there, and I thought, “Isn’t it just like the Lord that I would write a book that I have to live out?” That I basically wrote a message about: “It doesn’t matter if you’re walking through the valley of the shadow of death, God is with you,” “It doesn’t matter if you are going through stuff that you, literally, are terrified about; God is with you. Home is right where you are.”

I had to sit there, and go, “My son hasn’t even read my silly stinking book; and he knows that, in the OR, ‘It’s God’s moment’; God is with him.” He’s like, “I’m going to be okay; God’s with me. This is God’s moment.”

Dave:I mean, did he know, going in, how serious it was?

Ruth:Yes, I think so. And also, there were lots of other things. He had more rocks than you can imagine in his ear, and he still is actually struggling with some of that; they can’t get it out. He had blood in his eye; he had fractures; he was suffering potential concussion. There was just a lot going on.

He wasn’t feeling great, and he was scared. But I think, in that moment, he was realizing: “This is it. I either trust God or I don’t. I either believe in Him…” And we had the privilege of baptizing him before he went off to college. He genuinely made such a true public profession of faith before our small local congregation, so I knew that this kid has a vibrant walk with the Lord.

But this was the moment, where I was like, “Oh, the first lines out of this book is: ‘The Lord is your keeper. All you need is yours when He’s with you.’” I had to live that out, and I didn’t get to share that all in real time; so it’s actually really special to be able to share that here. I don’t think I’ve actually talked about this, in retrospect now.

The internet didn’t get to see how real it was—that this message was one between me and the Lord—and that it was almost the message of: “Ruth, you thought it was scary to send your kids out into the world. But the reality is, if you really trust Me, and you really believe that home is right where they are, then I’m going to give you an opportunity to really believe that—when it’s actually the scariest; when it’s actually the hardest—when you actually have to trust that, even if he comes out on the other side, and can’t walk, that home is still his; that he still belongs; and is under the care of the Shepherd.”

The book released out into the world without me being all over the internet, without me doing book tours; a lot of prerecorded press was already out there. But from a quiet ICU hospital room—it’s got this little beeping going on; you’re in an eerie, quiet, very cold room behind the scenes—I was releasing the book in a very unique way myself. I was putting it out into the world, knowing that thousands of people were getting it in the mail or picking it up at the store. I knew in my heart that, forever, this message was going to be a message, that isn’t just an inspired retelling of Psalm 23; but it’s the actual tested-by-fire reminder that we’re never more safe, or more comforted, or more truly protected than when we’re in the arms of Jesus. That actually is the best that my son can have. Whether he can be on his mountain bike again or not, the greatest treasure he can have is a presence in home with our God.

I needed to reckon with that, and realize: “Home is right where you are; it isn’t a feeling. It’s the truth that we were made for Him. And so if we were made for Him, it doesn’t matter what we go through in life. We need to remember that what He offers is actual care, and provision, and the presence forever, all the time.”

Ann:When he said that: “God’s got me,”—when Judah says, “God’s got me, Mom,”—those are the moments that: “They got it!” They got it in the messiness, in my own sinfulness, in the days that it felt like: “God, You weren’t doing anything”; “No; You were doing so much that he would say that.”

And even, isn’t it sweet that he was baptized before all this?

Ruth:Yes; at our house, we don’t coerce our kids to make professions of faith. We don’t feel like they’re on a timeline to get baptized. We really are just like: “We want it to be truly your decision and for you to be ready.” And so when he said, “I really want to publicly share my testimony and make that profession of faith.”

The reality is: God is so actively wanting us to see Him, His character, His heart in every little mundane, seemingly insignificant parts of our lives. When we say: “Our somedays is made up of thousands of right nows—as I did in my book, Now and Not Yet—it’s that someday:

when home feels far away;

someday when you don’t know how you ended up where you are, and you might feel like you’re in the valley of the shadow of death;

or that you’re staring your enemies down;

or you’re feeling like you’re so far from home that you’re homesick,

that the reason why home can be right where you are is because you’ve had multiple little moments with Jesus in the mundane, in the places where maybe it didn’t feel like it made a huge difference to have a conversation with Him on a drive; but you did because you’re on your way to go get gas. You said, “Lord, I need You.” But that reminder, in those mundane moments, actually cause you to lean on Him when your world is falling apart.

Ann:I’m thinking of parents, who maybe their kids are adult kids: who have walked away from the faith; or they’re just struggling with issues; maybe, they’re a prodigal. I’m thinking, “What would you say to those parents who are like, “But is He with them?”

Ruth:Well, the heart of Jesus is that He’s always in pursuit. We might think that we’re running far, and we’re out of His care; but He is the good Shepherd. He is in pursuit; and he is actually wooing, even when we are far off. I would say to the parent, who’s heartbroken: “I pray that this book might even be a comfort to you to know that: ‘It’s not your job, as a parent, to make sure that you’re going everywhere that your child goes to prevent anything from happening; or for making sure that they’re always good. But that God’s really the One who is still sovereign and in control of it all; and that, we can actually trust God in all those seasons.’”

But also, I would say: “Our kids are just like—we read through Psalm 23, and every line of those six verses; only six verses of Psalm 23—but when you read through it, every verse is taking us through a different kind of life scenario, different kind of season. ‘So don’t lose heart, whether you’re the prodigal adult child or the parent; don’t lose heart, because you don’t know what’s coming around the bend; and God is still here. You’re not outside of His care.’”

Dave:Both of you have this heart for moms—young moms, especially—I’m guessing; I mean it is resonating in here—and I do for dads. But where does that come from? Is it that you lived it, and you’ve been there, and you know what they’re feeling, and you want to give them perspective now? Or what is it?

Ruth:If I’m honest, I’ll say I wasn’t mentored very much when I was younger. I did not have older women in my life. My own mom wasn’t super active in my life when I was raising my little ones—that’s a work in progress; that’s a relationship in progress—and I think that every older woman is doing the best they know how.

But if we could start younger, and say, “Let me not forget what I really needed. Let me not forget how much I needed somebody to speak life—not just—‘Long days, short years; make the most of it. It’s going to go away so fast.’ A young mama doesn’t need to hear, in the middle of everything: ‘Oh, you’re going to miss this someday.’ That might be true, but they need real help right now. They need to know how to actually steward their feelings—and even be theologically-minded and biblically-minded when they can’t get their thoughts in order; because all those things matter.”

I think the emotions, and maybe our tenderness about that season, or the tenderness towards young women is that I think maybe both Ann and I are on the side and the season of life, where we could say: “Nothing is wasted. It was hard. But it’s also really important that we don’t just squander the lessons that we can learn in that season,” and “God is so good, and He is knowable.” When I think about young women, I think, “Man, don’t wait to learn these things. Start looking for God’s faithfulness right now.”

Ann:I think that, too. I think I felt so isolated in a lot of ways. I didn’t live near family, and I also felt like such a sinner!

Ruth:Right; true; yes.

Ann:I remember I would just think, “I’m so mean.” Sometimes, I felt so mean as a mom. I can remember thinking, “This isn’t who I am; I’m not mean and angry Ann.”

Ruth:You can get so disappointed in yourself and ashamed—

Ann:Yes, I beat myself up.

Ruth:—things are condemning you—and you go around and around, and you kind of hide.

Ann:— like, “What kind of Christian…”—like, “Ruth Chou would never do that”; and then, you could say, “But Ann Wilson would.”

Ruth:I felt all those things, too

Ann:And I think every mom does. I think there’s something about—I get to have ministry with young women, too—to look at them, and say, “Oh, you’re not disqualified because you yelled at your kids; or because you don’t know what you’re doing; or because you feel like your days are just gone and you didn’t get anything done. Yes, you did. You got so much done, especially with those young ones.”

I know that my daughter-in-law just sent me this little Instagram post of this baby—this beautiful baby, and just looks so happy and contented—and it says, “This is the baby.” And then, it shows this picture of the mom, who hasn’t showered in three days; her hair’s a mess. She has spit-up on her shoulder, and she’s wearing her sweatpants pants, and she feels like she’s done nothing. I’m like, “Oh, you’re doing so much.” Those days feel long, but they’re fleeting. And all those gifts that these moms have, God’s going to use every part of it; He’s going to use the messy part.

That’s why hearing your story of your son, Judah—what he’s walked through—He lets us live it out. You’re living out Psalm 23 with your son. I feel like the greatest lesson—and you talk about this—of that whole idea of surrendering, of being a sacrifice: “I give my life to You,” “I give my kids to You.” I think it’s one of the greatest things we can do is to surrender our kids, our marriages, our relationships; but most importantly, our lives, like, “Lord, I’m Yours. Everything is Yours.” And it’s hard to give that up sometimes.

Dave:I feel like we’ve had a director’s cut. It’s like we got into the green room with the actors of a movie.

Ann:Thank you for sharing that story about your son.

Dave:Yeah, I mean, really to read this now—and I hope our listeners get this; and then, read it after listening to this—because it takes on a whole different effect.

Ann:Even if you don’t have kids, you should get this book.

Dave: Yeah, I was going to say—

Ruth: I actually heard that from a lot of people.

Dave:This isn’t a kid’s book; this is a people book. This is—

Ann:It’s a piece of art. I feel like you would want to put on a coffee table, because it’s so gorgeous.

Dave:And we’d love to send it to you. I just want to let you know: during this month, you send a donation to Family Life: we will send you this book.

Ann:—a donation of any amount—and it will be doubled the whole month because of generous donors who have given to this ministry.

Dave:Yes; so go to FamilyLifeToday.com; send us a donation there; we’ll send that to you. Or you can call us at 800-358-6329. That’s 800-F as in Football, L as in Life, and the word, TODAY. Okay; 800-F as in Family, L as in Life, and the word, TODAY.

Ann:Ruth, thank you; this has been really fun.

Ruth:Thanks for having me.

FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife®, a Cru® Ministry.

Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.

If you’ve benefited from the FamilyLife Today transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs of producing them and making them available online?

Copyright © 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.

www.FamilyLife.com