FamilyLife Today® Podcast

Leave and Cleave

with Dennis Rainey, Various | May 12, 2010
Play Pause

Are you ready to leave your parents and cleave to your spouse? Dennis Rainey talks to couples about the importance of the covenant commitment and the benefits of leaving and cleaving.

  • Show Notes

  • About the Host

  • About the Guest

  • Are you ready to leave your parents and cleave to your spouse? Dennis Rainey talks to couples about the importance of the covenant commitment and the benefits of leaving and cleaving.

  • Dave and Ann Wilson

    Dave and Ann Wilson are hosts of FamilyLife Today®, FamilyLife’s nationally-syndicated radio program. Dave and Ann have been married for more than 38 years and have spent the last 33 teaching and mentoring couples and parents across the country. They have been featured speakers at FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember® marriage getaway since 1993 and have also hosted their own marriage conferences across the country. Cofounders of Kensington Church—a national, multicampus church that hosts more than 14,000 visitors every weekend—the Wilsons are the creative force behind DVD teaching series Rock Your Marriage and The Survival Guide To Parenting, as well as authors of the recently released book Vertical Marriage (Zondervan, 2019). Dave is a graduate of the International School of Theology, where he received a Master of Divinity degree. A Ball State University Hall of Fame quarterback, Dave served the Detroit Lions as chaplain for 33 years. Ann attended the University of Kentucky. She has been active alongside Dave in ministry as a speaker, writer, small-group leader, and mentor to countless wives of professional athletes. The Wilsons live in the Detroit area. They have three grown sons, CJ, Austin, and Cody, three daughters-in-law, and a growing number of grandchildren.

Are you ready to leave your parents and cleave to your spouse?

MP3 Download Transcript

Leave and Cleave

With Dennis Rainey, Various
May 12, 2010
| Download Transcript PDF

Bob:  The truth is most of us at the altar aren’t really committing to the bad stuff that’s coming later. 

Dennis:  That’s exactly right.  Listen to these vows, these came off the internet. 

“I, Lori, take you Stan to be my husband in equal love as a mirror for my true SELF. 

As a partner on my path to love and to cherish in sorrow and joy till death do us part.” 

Well, at least they got that right.  That’s makes me sick at my stomach frankly I don’t know who Lori and Stan are but bless them.  They have missed the whole point of it I fear. 

(Creative Piece)

Female Voice:  Welcome, welcome all, thank you for joining in this celebration at the ecstasy of love as we place these two dear people beside each other into a love team.  Now, as you know Dave and Sue have written their own vows for this love team and in honor of this moment of universal harmony, they have selected spiritual mate names Dave and Sue, wish now and forever to call themselves Unicorn and Moonflower. 

Dave:  Was I a Moonflower or Unicorn? 

Female Voice:  Now, Moonflower.

Whispering voice:  You can’t remember which one was Moonflower?  Sue.” 

Sue:  Yes. 

Female Voice:  Will you now woo Unicorn with the chanting of your love wish?

Moonflower:  Yes.  Oh Unicorn, Unicorn, come to me, my love mate won’t you be, so as long as we shall walk beside.

Unicorn:  Moonflower is chanting her love chant.  Wow, that’s a heavy dude. 

Moonflower:  Happy and self-realized won’t you now promise forever to share life’s

Unicorn:  What was that one part?

Moonflower:  …bloom in our life together?

Unicorn:  Does she say forever? 

Moonflower:  Forever! 

Unicorn:  I mean she didn’t actually mean like forever. 

Moonflower:  Forever joined in life for better. 

Unicorn:  She means like love is forever? 

Moonflower:  Never more to roam.  Unicorn, Unicorn make our love into a home.

Unicorn:  Dude a home, you mean like really…

Moonflower:  Protect me and defend me as your own and provide for all my wants and needs. 

Unicorn:  You mean like furniture and dishes and kids and stuff.

Moonflower:  Forget about those other flowers even when I dry up and lose my moon power. 

Female Voice:  Unicorn.  Unicorn, don’t run away!  Unicorn, come back!  You are showing your weakness by loving yourself. (END)

Dennis:  You know Bob, we are laughing here but what has happened to the covenant today all across the country in the institution of marriage is no laughing matter. 

In fact, I want to take folks back to Matthew 19, these are Jesus Christ’s words here: “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning and made them male and female and said for this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and the two should become one flesh?” 

Then Jesus added “Consequently, they are no more two but one flesh.  What therefore, God has joined together let no man separate.” 

What this is talking about here is a covenant.  It's a solemn pledge to another person, not a contract. 

Bob:  Yeah.  A contract is performance based.  You do your part and then I will pay you what I agreed to pay.  A covenant is not that way. 

Dennis:  No, it is a statement of commitment that goes beyond performance that goes beyond health issues, beyond financial prosperity.  It is a commitment to another person to whether the storms of life with another person for a lifetime. 

It is a man and a woman pledging to another and making a covenant between them and their God to stay married for a lifetime and to love and care for one another and maintain sexual fidelity towards one another. 

MS magazine says “marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.”  Now, I don’t believe you are sleeping with the enemy but I do believe at times your marriage will be in spiritual war.  Have you counted the cost?  Do not stand before a pastor and recite some mindless words that may represent traditional vows but words that you have no intention of keeping because your mind has kicked into neutral. 

Instead if you use those traditional vows study them.  Bring reality to them.  Be sobered by them.  Realize that you are making these vows in the fear of the Lord before these witnesses.  Declare it.  Remind one another of it.  Pledge your faithfulness to it and be aware of it that this is not tea house, this is your sacred covenant before God and these witnesses. 

Bob:  Well, and like you said most couples are kind of numb when they are actually reciting those words in front of their family and when they have got their nice clothes on and everybody is looking at them.  But they really need to stop before they get to alter and consider what it is they are going to be promising one another and what they are promising one another before God. 

That’s why we encourage couples as a part of going through the Preparing for Marriage workbook to really get these issues out on the table, talk them through understand what it is you are going to be committing to one another when you say “I do.”  Over the last, I guess it's been almost 15 years now, we have had tens of thousands of couples who have gone through this material and it's just recently been revised and updated and we want to encourage couples.

This is a great supplement to whatever kind of premarital counseling you are going to be getting from a pastor or from a local church.  Get a mentor couple or just the two of you go through this material yourself. 

You can go online at for information on how to order copies of the Preparing for Marriage workbook.  Again, it's or call 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329 and we will get you information on how you can get a couple of these workbooks sent out to you if you need more than that because you are going to be involved with a mentor couple, we will take care of that as well.  Call 1-800-FL-TODAY or go online at 

I think about the tens of thousands of couples who have gone through this material or who have attended a weekend or a marriage conference actually hundreds of thousands of couples who have done that over the years and then the hundreds of thousands of folks who tune into listen to FamilyLife Today each day, all of that is made possible because of friends like you who help support this ministry. 

We do appreciate those listeners who step forward and say we believe in what you are doing and we want to help support the ministry and make a donation from time to time.

In fact this month when you make a donation to FamilyLife Today your donation is going to be doubled.  We have had some friends who stepped forward and have offered to match any donation we receive during the month of May on a dollar for dollar basis.  They have pledged toward a matching gift fund and the total amount of that fund now is up more than $300,000 so we are doing our part to try to spread the word asking listeners and friends of this ministry to do what they can during the month of May. 

Make a $10 or a $20 or a $50 or a $100 or a $500 or a $1000 donation in support of the ministry of FamilyLife Today.  Whatever you are able to do that donation is going to be matched dollar for dollar as long as those pledges hold out in the matching gift fund so let us hear from you.

If you can go online at or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and help support this ministry and let me just say thanks in advance for whatever you are able to do.  Again we appreciate your partnership and your support of the ministry. 

We hope you will be back with us tomorrow.  We are going to continue to talk about the engagement period and tomorrow we want to talk on how you maintain purity during the engagement period and at the same time prepare yourself for sexual intimacy once marriage has arrived.  We will talk about that tomorrow.  Hope you can be with us.

I want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team.  On behalf of our host Dennis Rainey I am Bob Lepine.  We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.

FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. 

Help for today.  Hope for tomorrow.

We are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?

Copyright © FamilyLife. All rights reserved.