Re-Discovering Joyful Acceptance in Marriage – Love Like You Mean It 2025

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FamilyLife Today® with Dave and Ann Wilson – Web Version Transcript

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Re-Discovering Joyful Acceptance in Marriage

Guests:Trent and Andrea Griffith

From the series:Love Like You Mean It 2025 (Day 1 of 1)

Air date:March 11, 2025

Trent:“I’m going to welcome you as you are today; and I hope, tomorrow, I see a better version. You are completely welcome, entering into this; but I am believing that my welcome of you is going to change you the way that Christ’s welcome of me has changed me.”

Has Christ’s welcome changed you?—yeah. Your welcome of your spouse unconditionally—with grace, with joy, with empathy, with rest—”I’m hoping that’s going to change you, because some of the ways you’re behaving is not acceptable—it’s not great, and that’s not the best version of you—and so I’m going to welcome you, hopeful.”

Dave:Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I’m Dave Wilson.

Ann:And I’m Ann Wilson. And you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is FamilyLife Today.

Dave:Welcome to FamilyLife Today. We’re Dave and Ann Wilson. We have the joy of introducing you to some of the talks that were given on the FamilyLife Love Like You Mean It cruise, which we just got off. It was epic; it was awesome.

Ann:We want to invite you to come to the next cruise in 2026, February 14 through the 21st; because this is something you don’t want to miss. It’s something that reignites that passion and love in your marriage, and you also get to vacation.

Dave:Basically, it’s a marriage retreat on a boat in the Caribbean for a week; and every night you hear great marriage talks. There are workshops; there are comedians; there’s Christian bands and worship. It doesn’t get any better than that.

And yeah, you got to spend some money to do it; but if you book it right now, you get the best deal we’re going to offer the entire year—this month of March—so this is your window to sign up. Again, you don’t want to miss it; you really want to capitalize on this opportunity. Here’s how you can sign up: just go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Or you can call us at 800-358-6329—or actually, if you’d like, here’s how you can remember that—800-F as in Family, L as in Life, and the word, TODAY.

You’re going to hear talks like the one we’re going to play for you today. This is Trent and Andrea Griffith who gave a devotional on the boat. It’s powerful, and you’ll know just what I mean when you start listening to this message.

[Love Like You Mean It Message]

Trent:When we first met and started dating, this was easy. We had a long-distance relationship. Anybody else have a long-distance relationship? Andrea lived in Alabama; I was traveling. We actually got to see each other three times before we were married: no joke. She would tell you, if she’d seen me more often than that, we might not be married; but that was part of the strategy.

Anyway, when we got to be together after months of being apart, we didn’t need to read a book on how to welcome one another. We didn’t need to go to a session on a cruise to find out how to welcome one another. I was incredibly attracted to her; and somehow, I had an amazing ability to blot out every weakness, every flaw. It was just really easy if we’d been apart to welcome one another. Well, that was 30 years ago—it’s a lot easier—probably 30 years ago or 10 years ago. Maybe, you’ve lost the art of welcome. We want to show you it is such a powerful word.

I want to share with you the Bible verse that has actually meant the most to me in the last 18 months. Guess what the first word of the Bible verse is.

Audience:“Welcome.”

Trent:“Welcome.” Romans 15:7 says this: “Welcome one another”—how?—”as Christ has welcomed you”—why?—“for the glory of God.”

Did you get it?

What? “Welcome one another”

How? “as Christ has welcomed you”—

Why? —not because they’re so beautiful, not because they’re so

Incredible; but we’re going to do it—“for the glory of God.”

Those words have rattled around in my head and my heart so much; it’s actually really ruined me; it’s just something that I’m learning. Of all the words in that verse, do you know what the most important word is?—

it’s the shortest word—“as.” Are you familiar with the power of “as”? Some of you are familiar with the Wizard of Oz, but you’re not familiar with the power of “as.” The power of “as” is more powerful than the Wizard of Oz; because in order to welcome our spouse, we have to pay more attention to another relationship: it’s the vertical relationship we have with Christ. And so we’re going to focus, not on marriage; we’re going to focus on Christ, and then, we’re going to apply it to our marriages. Everybody up for that?

We’re going to look at four ways to welcome our spouse as Christ has welcomed us. And here is the first point: it is to welcome joyfully. If we welcome joyfully, words like this are going to come out of our mouth: “I celebrate you.” And here’s where we see it in the Scripture—one of the most famous welcomes in the Bible—probably the most famous welcome is the story of the prodigal son.

You know this story? Jesus tells this story about a father who had two sons. One of them said, “I want my inheritance now.” The father didn’t argue with him; he let him have it. He went off into a faraway country, far away from his father; and he wasted all of that valued treasure on what the Bible calls riotous living. And when he was in the middle of the pigsty, the Bible says he came to himself; and he remembered he had a father. He wondered whether or not that father would welcome him back. He starts the journey back, and notice what it says: “While he was a long way off,”—what did the father do?—”the father saw him.” You know what that means? The father had been waiting for this; the father had been looking for this. While he was a long way off, he saw him; and he felt compassion, and he ran toward him. He embraced him, and he kissed him—all signs of welcome.

By the way, last time you came home, is that what you got?—compassion; my spouse was running toward me—or were they running away?—they embraced me; they kissed me. That’s what the father did. The father said to his servants: “Bring the best robe and put it on him; and ring, put it on his hand; and shoes on his feet. Bring the fatted calf; kill it; and let’s have some steak and celebrate that he’s come home.”

I’m telling you this story because that is the way that Christ welcomes you. Forget, for a moment, you are married. Do you understand? You and I are the prodigal who has wasted the valued treasure—this life that God has given us—we are the ones who have strayed so far from the Father. We’ve been involved in indulging our pleasures and not paying attention to anybody but ourselves. And if you will come to yourself and come back—maybe, it’s been a long time since you’ve given thought to your relationship to Christ—no matter where you are, no matter how far you’ve strayed, if you’ll come back, do you know what you’ll find? You are seen; you are understood. The Father has compassion for you. Christ is running towards you, not away from you. His back is not turned away from you; He’s turned towards you. He is ready to embrace you.

Do you know what that means? He’s going to hold you securely; maybe, so you can’t run off anymore. And then, He’s going to love you—affectionate, powerful love towards you—He’s going to robe you, which means he’s going to cover you of all of the scars and the wounds of your wandering and your shame. He’s going to cover all of that with His robe. The ring—that has to do with your identity—it means you belong here; it’s a signet ring that says: “This is a special ring that our family only wears; you’re part of the family. We’re going to treat you as if you’re family; we’re not going to treat you as if you forsook the family. Shoes to cover you, so you can walk again. And a seat at the table where you can be nourished, and fed, and finally celebrated. We’re so glad you’re here! We’re so glad you came home.”

If you can see yourself as welcomed by Christ, it will change the way that you welcome your spouse.

Andrea:Yeah, so then the question is: “If Christ is welcoming me like that, how do I take that and turn it out to my spouse? How do I welcome them joyfully?” This is more than just Southern hospitality. Trent mentioned I’m from Alabama, and I love Southern hospitality; but as you were hearing him talk, did you hear the depth of what he was saying?

Think about the fact that every one of us is created in the image of God. If you think back to the very first pages of your Bible, think about

Genesis 1 and 2—before sin entered the world in Chapter 3—okay, so 1 and 2: what do you think the reality of their relationships were like?—the relationship they had with God, the relationship they had with each other—throw out to me some descriptive words of what you think that was like.

What were those relationships like?

Audience:Wonderful.

Andrea:Wonderful; yeah, something else.

Audience:Joyful.

Andrea:Joyful; something else.

Audience:Unified.

Andrea: Unified; I love that. What else?

Audience:Safe.

Andrea:Safe; yes, safe.

Everything you just named—you know what you just named?—you just named the creation longings of every human heart: “I want to be seen,” “I want to know I’m safe,” “I want there to be unity instead of the chaos that I’m experiencing in this world,”—and maybe—”in my marriage.”

That’s what we’re going for with this welcome; we’re talking about the creation longings of every human heart. So how do we do that with each other? We’ve got to get our eyes off the temporal and turn them up to the eternal. C.S. Lewis helps us with this so fantastically. Listen to this quote; he says, “The dullest, most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature, which if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship.”

There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal; but it is immortals with whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit. Do you know that? Do you believe that? Every single person will live forever somewhere. And if we’re going to live with Jesus forever, we are going to be made into the most beautiful creature you have ever seen.

What if, when you saw your spouse, that’s who you saw?—that’s what you were looking for. Your spouse has tremendous value; your kids have tremendous value—their strengths, their accomplishments, their hopes—being able to honor them, just by saying, “I’m so honored to be with you, with who you are, with the image of God stamped on you.”

[Studio]

Ann:We’re Ann and Dave Wilson, and this is FamilyLife Today. We’ve been hearing a message from Trent and Andrea Griffith, some good friends of ours. Man, just listening to that last part of that message that Andrea just said, I was convicted; because we lose that passion and the significance of our spouse.

Dave:I mean, I am sitting here right beside you.

Ann:Yeah, listening. I’m just telling you that.

Dave:And now, you’re rubbing my shoulders; so that feels good.

Anyway, it was a powerful week; and we hope you’ll be with us next year on a cruise. We’ll talk about that at the end, but we’re going to go back and hear the rest of the message now.

[Love Like You Mean It Message]

Trent:And finally—“Welcome, hopeful,” “Welcome, hopeful,”—hopeful points to the future. What we’re saying when we’re saying, “I’m welcoming you, hopeful,” is this: “I believe your best is yet to come. I’m going to welcome you as you are today; and I hope, tomorrow, I see a better version. You are completely welcome entering into this, but I am believing that my welcome of you is going to change you the way that Christ’s welcome of me has changed me.”

Has Christ’s welcome changed you?—yeah. Your welcome of your spouse unconditionally—with grace, with joy, with empathy, with rest—”I’m hoping that’s going to change you, because some of the ways you’re behaving is not acceptable—it’s not great, and that’s not the best version of you—and so I’m going to welcome you, hopeful.”

There’s a story in the gospels of a day in the life of Jesus. Jesus is invited into the home of a very self-righteous religious Pharisee—he’s a rule-keeper—dots his i’s, crosses his T’s; knows his Bible. He invites Jesus to come to his house for dinner. Jesus accepts the invitation; when He gets there, He realizes He’s gotten an invitation, but He doesn’t get a welcome.

Jesus begins to have conversation with the self-righteous religious Pharisee. And then, something completely unexpected happens. An unwelcomed woman shows up at the Pharisee’s house; his name is Simon. The woman is unnamed—the only thing we know about the woman—she gets an adjective in the story; she’s a sinful woman. Now, that’s Bible language for understanding she was not the purest of women. She was known in the town as a sinner woman.

She walks in unwelcomed, uninvited; and she immediately becomes enamored with Jesus’s feet. She bows down; she gets her face so close to Jesus’s feet that her hair is able to touch it, we’re told in the story. She begins to kiss the feet of Jesus. Remember, this is a sinful woman. Jesus was probably not the first man that she had kissed. She’s kissing His feet; and then, she begins to cry. The tears fall on Jesus’s feet. She uses those tears to begin to wash the dirt off of Jesus’ feet. She takes her hair and begins to wash Jesus’ feet with her tears. And then, she brings with her a bottle of ointment or oil—probably a fragrant perfume, very valuable, very costly—probably one of the tools of her trade. She breaks the bottle, pours it on Jesus’ feet as a way of anointing His feet.

These are the details that we’re told about the story. It is suspense-building. Are you wondering in your mind: “What in the world is Jesus thinking about this woman?” and “What in the world is Simon thinking about this woman?”—Simon, the man who didn’t welcome Jesus. The reason we know is because of what we’re about to read. Obviously, he wasn’t welcoming her; but Jesus did.

The story goes on—and this is what we read in Luke, Chapter 7: “Turning toward the woman, He”—Jesus—”said to Simon,”—now, let the power of those words sink into you; no wasted words in the Bible—”Jesus turns toward the woman at His feet, and says to Simon,”—He doesn’t look at Simon as He’s saying this; He’s looking at the woman. He’s saying to Simon; this is what He says—“’Do you see this woman?’”

“’Do you see her?’”—it’s the first step of welcome: is seeing someone; Jesus sees her. Jesus is welcoming her. He’s wondering if Simon can see her; if Simon will welcome her. “Jesus says, ‘I entered your house. You gave me no water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss. But from the time that I came in, she’s not ceased to kiss My feet. You did not anoint My head with oil, but she has anointed My feet with ointment.’” And then he says, “’I tell you, her sins, which are many are forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little loves little.’”

Who do you think the antecedent of the word, “he,” is in the story?—Simon. Simon thought he had very little to be forgiven of; he thought, “Why do I need to be welcomed? I’m welcoming you; we’re peers; we’re both superior. This inferior woman, down here, is at the feet.” Simon didn’t see himself as needy as the woman. Jesus welcomed her; and as a result, her sins were forgiven. And then, “He says to the woman, ‘Your faith has saved you, and your faith has created peace. Go in peace.’” As a result of this woman being welcomed by Jesus, it changes the entire course of her life. She becomes a follower of Jesus, a worshiper of Jesus, one who is willing to sacrifice the most costly thing that she owns—that oil—in order to worship Jesus; because she knows she has so much to be forgiven of.

Question for you: “Who do you most identify with in the story? Are you like the sinner woman, at the feet of Jesus, worshiping, sacrificing, being changed and saved by your faith? Or are you like Simon?—and when your spouse comes home, you’re thinking, ‘You’re lucky to come home to someone as good and awesome as me. You better get your act together,’”—no, we’re all the sinner woman! We’ve been welcomed by Jesus, saved by faith; changed; and our performance has been perfected by Jesus. A peace in our relationship with Him creates a peace in our relationship with others. We need to understand how important it is to be welcomed by Jesus so that we can welcome others.

Andrea:So how do we welcome our spouse, hopeful? First of all, welcome does not enable sin or abusive behavior. Christ didn’t enable her sin, but He forgave it. And in that forgiveness, it transformed her. That’s what we get to do as spouses. We get to take that forgiveness from Jesus for ourselves, and take it from Jesus, and give it out to our spouses, communicating: “I’m here for you. I believe in who you are becoming. I’m committed to go the distance with you. I want to live with you long enough to see the best version of you.”

That’s where this heart posture is so vital: “Will we keep welcoming, even in the brokenness?”—not to condone the sin—get the help that we need. But what is our heart posture toward our spouse? “Are we believing the best? Are we believing, hopeful?—by welcoming my spouse, it’s going to change me. It’s going to expel fear, comfort my sorrows, just how God has done for us.”

In the long run, we don’t do this to change our spouse; we do this to obey God. Remember where we started in Romans 15? “Welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you”—why?—“for the glory of God.” That’s why we do this with our spouse.

Trent:When you welcome a spouse—who doesn’t deserve your welcome—do you know what happens? You glorify Christ who welcomed you when you did not deserve to be welcomed.

You know what the very last verse of the Bible is?—it mentions “welcome” all over the place—this is what it says: “The Spirit”—Holy Spirit—”and the bride”—the bride is the church; you and I are the bride of Christ; we’re the church if you’re in relationship with Christ—what does the Spirit and the bride say [paraphrasing]?—”Come on, Jesus; anytime is a good time. If we do not have to get back on this boat, if we do not have to go back to the ice and the snow, it would be great; You are welcome to come.” That should be a regular prayer—one-word prayer—”Come”; just “Come”; just “Come.” “If You’re not ready to come physically right now, and set up your kingdom on earth, just come in the marriage,” “…come on the boat,” “…come with me. I need Your presence right here, right now.”

“And let the one who hears”—say it with me: “’Come,’”—tell Him—”Jesus, come.” [Paraphrasing] “You are welcome right here in my space.”

[Studio]

Ann:We are Ann and Dave Wilson. And this is FamilyLife Today. We’ve been listening to Trent and Andrea Griffith in a devotional they gave on the Love Like You Mean It cruise. What a great reminder and a great encouragement to invite Jesus into our lives and our relationships. We need to do that continually.

Dave:And I also think we need to get in the sun continually. I’m going to invite you to join us next year on the Love Like You Mean It cruise

February 14 through the 21st. Be in the sun; be in the Caribbean; be on a boat. You can hear talks like you just heard and many more Christian bands; comedians. It’s a week like no other.

If you’ve never done it, or if you want to do it again, here’s the deal: this month is the best price you’re ever going to get on this cruise, so sign up now. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com; or give us a call at 800-358-6329. That’s 800-F as in Family, L as in Life, and the word, TODAY. And man, I hope we see you on the boat with us next year.

Ann:I’m just going to put some urgency behind this because the ship is

60 percent full. You don’t want to miss out on this great sale this month.

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