Several years ago, an automobile manufacturer ran a commercial that opened with a group of young students coloring at a table; their teacher looked on, instructing them to “stay within the lines.” The students recited this instruction, adding, “The lines are our friends.”

Children need boundaries. They need their parents to create and uphold a safe environment for them—an environment where they can be heard and their feelings validated, but where they are encouraged to follow rules and practice patience, obedience, and cooperation. Boundaries, when set and kept in loving ways, help children feel safe and secure. Naturally, children are disappointed when they don’t get their own way, but even when they push the boundaries and become upset when you uphold them, ultimately they will still feel a sense of security.

Without boundaries, children can become anxious, rebellious, and self-centered. They may even feel anger and resentment toward their parents for a lack of boundaries. Remember, boundary setting is a part of discipline, and discipline communicates love.