Spanking is one of the most hotly debated topics in today’s parenting culture. Some believe spanking is taboo, that it teaches children to hit or causes them to have emotional issues later in life. Others believe, when administered properly, it’s an effective form of discipline that helps to modify attitudes and behavior.

If you choose spanking as a form of discipline, the best approach is to be balanced (stern but loving), sensible, and controlled. It is not delivered out of anger, frustration, or violence, but out of love and concern for the child’s well-being, safety, and guidance. It is administered calmly and with a measured amount of pain, and is bookended with expressions of love (see 1 Corinthians 16:14). The goal is not that our children will fear us, but that our children will respect and obey us as we train them to live righteously.

Whatever forms of discipline you choose for your children, and there are many, remember that discipline—administered with love and grace—is for their safety and well-being because you love them.