One of the most difficult things you can face as a parent is when a child breaks your heart. And yet, every parent has had or will have his or her heart broken by a child at some point. It may be an isolated incident, such as intense sibling rivalry, hurtful words, lying, or disobedience. Or it may be ongoing disappointment such as rebellion or a strained parent-child relationship. When your child moves away from what you’ve hoped for and begins to make choices that contradict what you’ve built into their life, you can be deeply hurt.

One of the first temptations is to become bogged down with regrets and “if only” thinking: if only I had done this, or if only I had said that, things would be different. Another temptation is to feel that you have failed as a parent. You may think, I’ve covered all the bases, did everything right. How could it have gone so wrong?Remember, making wrong choices and foolish mistakes is not unusual for a child (see Proverbs 22:15). Children will do things from time to time that will break our hearts.

That’s why children need the love, discipline, and spiritual guidance of their parents in order to become wise, mature men and women. And through it all, even through the heartbreak, God promises to be with you and to give you everything you need. What’s more, nothing is lost on God. He redeems everything—even a child’s poor choices and foolish mistakes—to help that child learn and grow and to accomplish His good purposes. Trust His plan for your child’s life. His plan is a good plan.