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Dads, Daughters, and Dating

Part of our responsibility as parents is to help our daughter navigate appropriate relationships, especially dating relationships.
By Tracey Eyster


Last night was one of those nights where my hubby proved to be my hero yet again.  He spent about 30 minutes having a very important conversation with a young man we know. This wasn't a simple conversation mind you, it was an interview.

No, he was not conducting an interview for a job ... he was conducting an interview for a date. A date with our daughter.

This is a first for us.  (Heavy sigh.)

We knew this day would get here, and though my husband was prepared to just lock her in the closet until she turned 22, we recognize that part of our responsibility while she's still under our roof is to help her navigate appropriate relationships, especially dating relationships.

This is a young man we know, from a good family, who has a real heart for the things of God, but still, this is our little girl that he will be spending an evening with. Yes, it's an event at her school and fully chaperoned, but that letting go thing is so, so hard.

I think of how amazing it would have been if my dad had actually sat down with and interviewed my dates when I was a teenager.  Would it have been embarrassing? Maybe. But it would have saved me some grief.

I so appreciate the fact that any young man who wants to spend time with my daughter will first have to spend time with her father. These young men will be called up by him to a higher standard and held accountable. My hubby has been taking our daughter out on dates since she was a little girl, so any fella' who wants to spend time with her has some big shoes to fill (literally—size 14)!

For years I've told him this day was coming and for years he has wanted to avoid the subject. Last year when Dennis Rainey wrote his book, Interviewing Your Daughter's Date, my hubby had it read faster than I have ever seen him read any book. He bought a case and hands them out to any dad he knows who has daughters.

You may be wondering, "Is having to sit down and go through the interview fair to the young man?" In our case, his mother sure thought so!  She said she was glad it happened and that her son benefited from the interview . This young man even said to my husband (more than once) that he thought it was cool that he cared that much about his daughter and that he was glad they talked.

As the mother of a "tween" son I hope and pray that the fathers of the girls he wants to spend time with sit him down and cause him to recognize the standard of conduct and care they expect for their daughter. I guarantee that if he doesn't my husband will.

The real question might be, what does our daughter think about this whole interview thing? Let's just say that the assurance of the love and protection of her father is something she still welcomes. She couldn't wipe the smile off of her face when he got home last night.  

I'm not the only one who sees him as a hero!

Copyright © 2009 by Tracey Eyster. All rights reserved.

FamilyLife is a donor-supported ministry offering practical and biblical resources and events to help you build a godly marriage and family.  .


Meet the Author: Tracey Eyster

Tracey Eyster is the creator MomLifeToday.com. Tenacity and a passion for momlife has fueled her relentless pursuit of following God’s call to speak wisdom and truth into the lives of moms through writing and speaking. Her first book, Be The Mom is available in the FamilyLife resource center. Tracey and Bill have been married since 1986 and have two grown children.

 

 

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