I once had one of those terribly difficult relationships—on a scale of 1 to 10 it was about minus 20. It was in the deep freeze. If you could have put a stethoscope to my heart to reveal my words, you would have heard me saying, “I wish this person had never been born. This person makes my life miserable.”

As I thought about this person, the words of James 3:8-10 came to my mind: “But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father; and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way.” In this passage the word “curse” means “to speak evil of, or to not speak well of.” The word “bless” means “to speak well of.”

I realized that I was cursing this person in my heart. It never occurred to me to bless this person—that thought went against every natural urge within me.

But it was obvious that the relationship wasn’t improving through my own efforts. I began to pray that God would bless this person, and I determined that I would speak well of this person in my heart and to other people. I didn’t feel like it but I chose with my will to do what God’s Word said.

To heal a relationship, someone has to start giving a blessing instead of a curse. Over time that relationship slowly began to heal, and today, on that same scale of 1 to 10, this relationship is probably a 7 or 8.

We reap what we sow. If we sow blessings, we are going to reap blessings. If we sow cursings, we will reap cursings. I’d rather reap blessings, wouldn’t you?

Copyright © 2005 by Ney Bailey. All rights reserved. Used with permission.