Do you ever feel like you have no time left for romance?

When are you supposed to enjoy sexy activities with your spouse—like surprising him with a lunch rendezvous, bubble baths, and rose petal trails to the bedroom? Even if you’ve never experienced these situations together, you’ve always wondered if you should have.

You’re busy with your kids, with the demands of your job. It feels like romance pretty much goes by the wayside.

And yet … perhaps we’re defining romantic and sexy encounters all wrong. Maybe cooking dinner together naked in a candle-lit kitchen isn’t on the menu this week, but it’s likely you still have a lot of regular romance going on in your home.

When you get stuck thinking romance is all roses and bubble baths, it starts feeling like something you’ll never achieve. You start believing it’s not even worth the effort. But when you remember that romance really is simply doing something special or unexpected for someone you love, even though you don’t have to, then we can make every day sexy.

Unexpected romance

Like last week, when you wrestled your rambunctious, happy child to bed and then set out your work clothes for tomorrow’s business meeting. Somehow, only a few hours later, out of nowhere, your child cried for you from a puddle of midnight vomit. While you sat in the dark pressing tired lips against a hot forehead, jamming the thermometer under her armpit, your husband quietly changed the soiled sheets. He brought several tattered beach towels to sop up the floor. He set two cups of water beside you, one for the patient, one for the caregiver.

What a romantic! You gave a quiet nod and tired smile to thank him.

Or what about when your husband recently worked a grueling overnight shift, arriving home way past schedule around lunchtime. You didn’t mutter a word about his long hours as he greeted you in the kitchen. But instead of only making one turkey sandwich, you pulled out two more slices of wheat bread. You spread mustard and mayonnaise together on his because you know that’s how he likes it. And you carried an extra paper plate of lunch with you to offer him at the table. How romantic!

Sometimes those intentional acts, those times when you just look for ways to help each other and bless each other, are far more romantic and sexy than you realize.

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Here are 25 Valentine’s Day Ideas to spark everyday romance in your home:

1. Set her coffee cup next to the coffee maker in the morning before she is out of bed.

2 Send texts to let each other know you’re headed home from work.

3. Kiss each other goodbye every morning.

4. Buy the snacks he likes when you grocery shop.

5. Remember her coworkers’ names.

6. Give her a night off from helping the kids with homework. You huddle around the table for the spelling words and multiplication facts instead.

7. Tell him how much the kids enjoy being with him.

8. On a day off work, instead of sticking to your typical exercise routine, arrange it so you can work out together.

9. Watch the game with him. Try cheering for his team.

10. Ask him about his day.

11. Put your arm around her in church. Don’t let the kids sit between you.

12. Pray together. Pray out loud for each other.

13. Recall past memories together.

14. Cook his favorite dinner. Tell him you made it because you know he likes it.

15. Recognize your spouse for paying all the bills on time every single month.

16. When you come home from work, embrace each other. Squeeze tightly for longer than just a quick second.

17. Be the one who offers to turn out the lights tonight.

18. Text her that you’re thinking of her.

19. Reach over and hold his hand.

20. Compliment her for your favorite physical feature. Then also compliment her heart.

21. Help her clean the house.

22. Thank him for rolling the garbage can to the curb.

23. Split your dessert with her.

24. Talk to your in-laws instead of looking at your phone, during the next family gathering.

25. Let your spouse help you with something.

Romance doesn’t have to be hard or even well planned. All it takes is a thoughtful, intentional moment as you go about your regular day. Those daily displays of love really are the sexiest after all.

With Valentine’s Day approaching, if you feel up to adding a little extra spice to the daily routine, we have some no-fail Valentine’s Day ideas in our free printable collection. You’ll find tips for writing a love letter, conversation starters, love coupons, and a checklist to help make every day sexy.

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