Another season of The Bachelorette just wrapped up, and it’s been my guilty pleasure for the past few months. I know it’s not the most wholesome of content, but it gives this momma brain a break and a chance to dive into a type of crazy that is not my home.

Becca has ridden off with her Prince Charming, and I really wish them a happily ever after for as long as the relationship lasts—hopefully forever.

Of course, there’s a lot about the show that demonstrates what not to do in a marriage relationship. I am well aware of “the fantasy suite” and how dating 20 guys at once is one rose shy of a terrible idea. But there are some redeeming points.

Just work with me here …

1. You need a support group around you—in church circles, we call this “community.” On The Bachelorette, they call it a girlfriend group. There are always ladies from past seasons who reappear to affirm and advise the current contestant.

Likewise, you and your spouse need people around you who can support you through the ups and downs of marriage and point you to Christ. Friends who don’t tell you what you want to hear, but what you need to hear.  As Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

2. You need to get away with your spouse. Getting away is pretty much a 24/7 deal on The Bachelorette. So much so that they really don’t get to know each other in a “real” setting at all. Unsettling in itself. But time away in luxurious locations does give them a chance to truly focus on each other—away from bills, jobs, and the demands of life. When was the last time you did that? Check out a list of locations across the country where we offer a Weekend to Remember marriage getaway.

3. Romance is key. Roses may not be your thing, and you may not favor a bazillion lit candles in your home (hello, fire hazard). But find out what really speaks romance to your spouse. Rent that honeymoon suite at your local hotel, and turn it into a fantasy suite of your own. Or better yet, do a makeover of your own bedroom for a change. Who says it has to be full of random mail and piles of laundry? (Read “10 Ways to Create a More Romantic Bedroom.”)

4. Commit to forever. A lot of The Bachelorette relationships end right after they’ve proposed a lifetime of love and devotion to each other. Don’t let that be the case for you. There are no finales to the storylines God writes, no matter what seasons will come your way.

The fact is, marriage takes intentional work that can’t be captured in 11 episodes or behind-the-scenes clips. Bachelorette Nation may never see your story played out on television, but your family will. You are creating a legacy of true love and commitment.

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