The best parts of engagement can be a little like exploring a beautiful tropical island. There’s potentially something intriguing or breathtaking or hilarious around any given corner.
To better comprehend the intricate inner workings of what makes your favorite person tick, a few games to play as a couple can challenge you to discover parts of your fiancé’s story that haven’t yet surfaced in all those 3 a.m. convos where talking felt way more exciting than sleeping.
These games make it easier to lean into the things that matter, the things that don’t, and the things that make you go “hmm.”
5 games to play as a couple
1. Two truths and a lie.
In this classic game, each of you take turns presenting the other person with three statements about yourself in random order: two of them true, one of them a lie. Your fiance attempts to guess which statement is a lie. (Incidentally, we recommend this being the only time you lie to one another. Full stop.)
2. A Venn diagram of us.
Here’s one of those quick, back-of-a-napkin games to play as a couple while passing time together—say, waiting for your dish at a restaurant, feet-on-the-dashboard on a road trip, or in a waiting room for your premarital counseling.
Draw two large intersecting circles. One circle represents him; one circle represents her. The intersecting football-shaped space represents the ways the two of you overlap.
Maybe she’s into hiking and he’s into cooking, but you’re both into cars. Maybe you both love coffee, but she’s definitely a decaf girl, and he can drink any cup o’ joe as long as it’s black.
Or take it a level further, and consider a topic like your childhoods or families. Perhaps one of you never moved houses, and one of you moved constantly—but you both stayed in your home state. Or neither of you is close to your parents, but one of you is close to a sister, and the other to a grandfather.
This game is a simple way to begin exploring the subcultures of your backgrounds. Try out topics like holidays, elementary school experiences, your ethnic heritage.
3. Amped-up Jenga.
On each of the blocks in that dusty game of Jenga in your closet, tape slips of paper with each one of the questions below. (You could simply print them, cut them in strips, and tape them on.) Then stack up Jenga as usual. When one of you withdraws a block, if there’s a question on it, that person needs to answer the question before placing it on top of the stack.
Questions:
- What’s one dream you have for our future?
- What’s been on your mind lately?
- What’s God been doing in you lately?
- What’s something you haven’t been able to get out of your head this week?
- Tell one meaningful thing someone said to you (not necessarily a compliment).
- What do you pray for most often?
- Have any recurring dreams at night? What are they about?
- What’s one way I could be in your corner right now?
- What quality in a person do you immediately find magnetic?
- What quality in a person do you immediately find off-putting?
- What’s one time in your life you felt close to God?
- When you’re at the end of your life, what would one indicator of “success” be?
- Describe yourself in five words. Go.
- Name three adjectives you sometimes wish you were but aren’t.
- Where, when, and with whom do you feel most at home?
- What’s one thing could I do, practically speaking, to be a true friend to you?
- What do you wish people could understand about you?
- What quality for you is hardest to understand when you see it in a person?
- What’s one activity that makes you feel alive?
4. A prop from my life.
On your next coffee date, each of you brings an object that represents something you want to tell your fiancé that they don’t know about you yet. Maybe it’s a photograph with a great story, a toy that participated in great adventures with you and a friend or sibling, or something that reminds you of home.
If you’d prefer to make this a little more game-like, when you show the object to your fiancé, play the part of someone introducing the object on an infomercial: This doll may be missing one eyeball, but it’s because she’s seen a lot—not all of which she’s permitted to tell you until we’ve officially tied the knot. Comes with a lovely, stained, pink dress that doubled as a napkin for peanut-butter sandwiches…
5. (In case it’s not obvious) The Newlywed Game.
No list of games to play as a couple would be complete without it. And spoiler: You don’t actually have to be a newlywed for this one. Pull out these questions for a date-in one night when you could use a few laughs and maybe a Whaaat?!
Directions for game play
- Print two copies of the questions for each of you.
- The female writes answers to Round 1 questions about herself first. The male answers the Round 1 questions about what he thinks she wrote.
- The goal is to guess correctly what the other person would say—not what you think. For example, if the question is, “Between the two of you, who is messiest?”, the goal is not to be the least messy person, or to prove you’re right. The goal is to have written (closely enough) the answer the other person wrote.
- Repeat the process with him answering Round 2 questions about himself, and his fiancée answering the same questions with what she thinks he wrote.
- Having fun? Play it again, swapping roles for Rounds 1 & 2.
Round 1 Questions
- What is this person’s worst habit?
- What is this person’s favorite indulgent snack?
- You’re at a new-to-you restaurant. How does this person decide what to order?
- What is this person’s shoe size?
- What is this person’s favorite pizza topping?
- Of the two of you, who has better handwriting?
- What is this person’s favorite thing to do to relax?
- Where would this person go on vacation?
- Which item of clothing of theirs is the weirdest?
- What is a top item on this person’s bucket list?
- What might this person be doing when they feel close to God?
- What is one way this person best displays the image of God?
Round 2 Questions
- What is this person’s pet peeve?
- What is this person’s favorite TV show?
- Between the two of you, who is more klutzy?
- What is one thing you do that drives this person bananas?
- What is this person’s favorite dessert?
- Of the two of you, who has better taste in clothes?
- What is one thing the two of you could not agree on?
- In choosing a church, what does this person hope to find?
- What is/was this person’s favorite subject in school?
- After you’re married, who will make the bed?
- Apart from your marriage and honeymoon, what’s something in the next year this person may get excited about?
- What is this person’s first memory?
The stellar news? You’ll be making discoveries on that private island of yours for the rest of your life. And like these games to play as a couple, those ahas can pack a lot of laughter and rich memories.
Whatever you do?
Keep exploring.
Copyright © 2023 Janel Breitenstein. All rights reserved.
Janel Breitenstein is an author, freelance writer, speaker, and frequent contributor for FamilyLife, including Passport2Identity®, Art of Parenting®, and regular articles. After five and a half years in East Africa, her family of six returned to Colorado, where they continue to work on behalf of the poor with Engineering Ministries International. Her book, Permanent Markers: Spiritual Life Skills to Write on Your Kids’ Hearts (Harvest House), empowers parents to creatively engage kids in vibrant spirituality. You can find her—“The Awkward Mom”—having uncomfortable, important conversations at JanelBreitenstein.com, and on Instagram @janelbreit.
