Chicks dig bad boys.
At least that’s what my son learned from a movie. (Funny, I’m a chick, and I don’t dig bad boys.) But this seems to be a theme in Hollywood. Let’s see—James Dean, Johnny Depp, Daniel Craig …
All major sex symbols, all known for being a little on the wild side. But is this bad boy sexiness reality?
Let’s take the iconic James Bond, for example. He’s charismatic, tough, smart, drives awesome cars, and the most beautiful women in the world find him irresistible. This sounds like everything a young man would want, doesn’t it?
It reminds me of a young man in the Bible named Solomon. He was fabulously wealthy—mansions, parties, piles of gold, boy toys, and adored by hundreds of the most beautiful women in the world. Yet, he was unfulfilled.
He said, “Anything I wanted, I would take. I denied myself no pleasure. … But as I looked at everything, I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless—like chasing the wind. There was nothing really worthwhile anywhere” (Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 NLT).
You see, Hollywood lies to you. And it works because it appeals to your God-given sense of masculinity. Let me explain. Even if you could have a job like Bond (which you can’t because there isn’t one). And even if you could drive a car like Bond (which you can’t because you’re lacking a personal stunt driver). And even if you could attract women like Bond (let’s be real here), you might climb to the top of Hollywood’s “success” ladder.
But you would also find yourself pondering the meaninglessness of it all, just like Solomon.
Despite all this, Bond and other “bad” boys set the Hollywood standard for what it means to be a desirable male. It’s a lie. And that’s not the only lies about relationships Hollywood is dishing out:
Hollywood says you must find your soul mate.
This is the idea that there is only one person in the world who will complete you, and you cannot have a fulfilling relationship with anyone else. I guess that leaves out people like my husband and me who were originally married to our best friends, and then they died. Is all hope lost for us? No. As my late husband, David, once said, “A soul mate isn’t someone you find; it’s someone you intentionally and prayerfully become.”
Hollywood tells you love means never having to say you’re sorry.
This lie has been around since the 1970’s film Love Story. Show me a man who never says he’s sorry, and I’ll show you a very angry woman, and vice versa. As Christians, we should be well acquainted with two things: We are sinners, and we need forgiveness.
Healthy relationships require admitting fault and seeking forgiveness. James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” People in close relationships are bound to hurt each other because we are human. Sometimes the only way to bring healing is to say “I’m sorry.”
Hollywood tells you the right person will fulfill you.
Well, they have one thing right. But that person is not a perfect mate. The only person who can fulfill your every need is Jesus Christ. No one will fulfill your life, except Him. Jesus said, “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). Jesus is perfect. Your partner isn’t. Don’t expect a human to do what only God can do.
Instead of looking to Hollywood for the answers about love and dating, find out more from Scripture. Fortunately, there is a good guy any man can look up to. One who appeals to your God-given sense of masculinity. He’s a King. He conquered death. He’s currently preparing an army to defeat evil forever and bring everlasting peace. Everything He does has purpose, and when you follow in His footsteps, you will live abundantly.
His name is Jesus.
Copyright © 2019 by Sabrina McDonald. All rights reserved.
Pornography is another trap that can be easy for young men to fall into.
Read “4 Common Delusions About Pornography.”