3 Tips for Intentional Grandparenting (Both Near and Far)

“Look at this excavator, Lola!” I see nothing but brown eyes on my FaceTime screen. More often than not, the ceiling fan fills the screen, but my grandson is talking to me, and I’m delighted to hear his little voice. I keep my face fixed to my phone screen so that he will know his grandmother is listening to every word.

I wish we didn’t live so far away from our grandchildren, but I am so grateful for a glimpse at them every few days through technology like FaceTime. Tips for intentional grandparenting don’t come naturally for me; frankly, I feel the least equipped to write on this topic, but maybe this is God’s way of renewing my perspective on what an intentional grandparent is. Here are 3 tips for what intentional and purposeful grandparenting looks like nowadays.

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3 tips for intentional grandparenting (both near and far)

1. Practice gratitude.

As a grandparent of three kids five and under, with one more on the way, I am often in a paralyzed stage of staring at their adorable faces, loving their funny phrases as language learning develops in the cutest of ways. I love the kisses, the hugs, and the stories read before bedtime. I’m in awe of my own son and his beautiful wife as they lovingly shepherd their family. But I am often stuck in gratitude from afar.

When I do get to visit my son’s family, I wash the clothes and dishes and vacuum little messes all day. I try to alleviate some of the chores so my very pregnant daughter-in-law can put her feet up, but she doesn’t. She runs up the stairs and brings down matching outfits for all three, chasing them all around to help them dress before church. These are precious days, as precious as when my children were small. I am so grateful to be a part of their lives and I’ve even contemplated renting the house across the street.

Yes, I am grateful for these moments, and I tell God just that.

2. Remember the intentional grandparents who went before you.

When I talk with women I consider intentional and purposeful godly grandparents, I am impressed with everything they do to teach, lead, and enjoy their grandchildren.

When I think back to the woman I called Grandmother, she would always hug me when I walked into the wide country kitchen. Her smile would light up the room as she pressed my face against her blue and white cotton dress. She loved me dearly. How precious was her gentle, kind spirit when my soul was troubled! She gave me that quiet, unintrusive love that I needed so much.

Each grandparent loves their grandchildren very differently. They teach their grandchildren golf, carpentry, needlework, music, or perhaps things their own grandparents taught them. We want to pass the things most precious to us to the ones we love.

I always loved the stories my grandparents told. It is important to share our family history and all the colorful stories that accompany it.

We share immigration stories about how we got here last year, last century, or perhaps even before that, and those can be a treasure to our grandchildren. But I also have an even more valuable treasure to share with my grandchildren!

3. Give your grandchildren the most precious part of you: Jesus.

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us” (2 Corinthians 4:7.)

I have the unique opportunity as “Lola” to give my grandchildren my own story of coming to know Christ, how God softened my stubborn heart and drew me to Himself with loving arms. That story I dare not leave silent.

To practice being an intentional grandparent, I need to tell my grandchildren that while I love this life, I long for the day when all will be made right and we will see God’s face and all of His glory. I need to tell them about eternity. I need to tell them how much God loves them and longs for a forever relationship with them. We have a unique and God-given place to speak truth into the ears of our precious grandchildren.

They can’t really know who I am, or who they are, without knowing the God of the universe.

And I can make that introduction!

One afternoon, I was FaceTiming with those sweet brown eyes and the ceiling fan. I learned my grandson had recently accepted Christ as his Savior. If only I could have jumped through the phone! In simple words, he explained his new faith to me.

It is so sweet knowing my grandson has chosen the good part that cannot be taken from him. God has drawn my little guy to Himself, and I get to watch the miracle in progress.

Renting that house across the street for a better view is starting to seem like a great idea!

A word for you, intentional grandparent

To all you Gigis, Pawpaws, Poppys, Grandmas, Grampses, and Honeys (I like that grandma name), God has given you a lifetime of experiences, family history, and so much to be grateful for.

Each grandparent is uniquely gifted. As you seek to be an intentional and purposeful grandparent, know that God has put you in the exact spot He intended so you can point your little ones to Christ.

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” (3 John 4).

Laura is an author and missionary with FamilyLife, and she’s known for her commitment to strengthening marriages and families through Christ-centered ministry in Latin America. She is wife to Roger, mom to four remarkable adult children, suegra to two equally remarkable daughters-in-law, and Lola to three hilarious grandboys who live much too far away. Roger and Laura have also been blessed by several foster children. They live in Winnsboro, South Carolina.